MARCH HARE, the Mad Pokégirl

MARCH HARE, the Mad Pokégirl

Type: Near Human
Element: Magic/Poison
Frequency: Very Rare
Diet: Vegetarian, strong like for tea and cakes
Role: Unknown (Thought to have been an evolution mistake by Sukebe)
Libido: Average (Very High during the month of March)
Strong Vs: Bug, Fighting, Plant, Poison
Weak Vs: Ground, Psychic
Attacks: Delicious Tea, Disable, Dyna Hat, Exhausting Venom, Force Bolt, Hat Vanish, MAD WATCH!, Magic Fist, Magic Kick, Metronome, Razor Hat, Spice
Enhancements: Blank Mind, Confusion Aura, Enhanced Hearing (x3), Enhanced Olfactory (x2), Enhanced Speed (x3), Enhanced Vision (x2), Poison Resistance
Evolves: None
Evolves From: Bunnygirl (Dream Stone)


All pokégirl breeds are unique, and the March Hare is no exception. First appearing roughly a century after the Revenge War, the first March Hare was sighted running around a town’s main street, bemoaning the fact that she was ‘late’ for something. About ten minutes later, she was seen wielding a giant hammer and chasing a giant stopwatch that was dancing around and sparking madly, screaming “I need to fix you”. Soon after, she was seen sprinting away from the same watch, which was trying to attack her. After the watch was destroyed, the bunny type's owner showed up and explained what had happened; his Bunnygirl had decided that she wanted to play a game of catch with his Dream Stone. As soon as she grabbed it, the Bunnygirl evolved and ran away from him, screaming that she “was going to be late”.

Physically, March Hares are not all that different from Bunnygirls. They usually gain about a cup size and retain the same features they had when they were Bunnygirls, such as their ears and facial features. The breed’s legs grow and become a bit more muscular, causing them to gain a couple of inches. This breed’s tail will also double in size from their previous form. In a mental sense, March Hares are… different, from their Bunnygirl form. Although this breed seems to have a larger mental capacity than their previous state, no one can be one hundred percent certain due to their Blank Mind enhancement. Bunnygirls and most of their evolutions tend not to be geniuses, but March Hares are seen by most to be just flat out strange. Their behavior tends to be erratic, eccentric, and so unpredictable that many theorists who study chaos admit their confusion. They are prone to bouts of utterly random behavior and wild mood swings as well.

March Hares are confusing to deal with, to say the least. They constantly talk in nonsense rhymes and riddles, which very few have been able to make sense of. As stated earlier, this is due to their immunity from being read psychically. The breed constantly emits an Aura of Confusion, affecting anyone when they are nearby. Anyone who attempts to understand a March Hare could actually be harmed due to the confusion. Psychic types have been known to get incredible headaches from them. The only time they really start to talk normally is when the subject is tea.

The tea is the main ability of a March Hare and the source of a great deal of frustration for many. It is a staple part of their diet and they are always seen drinking it. They become sullen and grumpy when not allowed to have any and actually become violent if denied their tea in any way, shape, or form. Feral March Hares have generally the same bizarre behavior, although they become more vicious if not allowed to have tea. The tea’s aroma has an almost hypnotic effect, inducing intense thirst in those nearby. This almost always induces them to drink it, which is when the problems start. March Hare Tea has a completely random temporary effect each time, ranging from violent hallucinations to explosive flatulence to pretty much anything one can think of. It should be noted that this random special tea is not the same as Delicious Tea, due to this tea's random effects, whereas Delicious Tea has specific effects. March Hares drink normal tea, and if they trust their Tamer and Harem sisters, they will offer normal tea to them as well. This breed seems to create teacups, saucers, and teapots full of tea out of thin air, and causes each item to disappear in the same fashion.

March Hares seem to adore hats of all shapes, kinds, and sizes, even creating hats to use in combat. They will only let themselves be tamed if their Tamer is wearing a hat, which has led some researchers to believe that this may be a breed fetish. Hats with chin-straps are recommended; although some March Hares have been noted to be understanding (or just flat out not noticed) if a hat falls off during taming. It should be noted that a March Hare’s hat never seems to fall off. March Hares seem to have their libido increase dramatically during the month of March, requiring much more taming sessions than they normally do. Granted, none of this has stopped some Tamers from forcing themselves on a March Hare. While this can achieve what a hatted taming can do, the Tamer might find a drink discreetly replaced with tea, usually to an amusing effect. It’s generally less bothersome to just find a cheap comfortable toboggan cap and wear it, unless you like tasting tea every day. It should be noted that if someone makes fun of a March Hare’s hat, they might fight themselves suffering from the effects of a March Hare’s special tea or the “Mad Watch Effect”.

The Mad Watch Effect, or MWE, refers to what happens to most watches when a March Hare gets her hands on it. Many researchers believe that the breed tends not to have a real concept of time, thinking that watches actually control the time that they are telling. A March Hare will steal a watch and attempt to “fix” it by inserting devices and welding on objects not meant to be a part of a watch. This usually warps the timepiece beyond all recognition. Invariably, every single time, the watch starts to short out in a way that makes it seem like it has come alive, usually to a dramatic effect. In the recorded cases, the watches did come “alive”, but all they did was attack people in a rage before they were managed to be destroyed. To make a long story short, never let a March Hare see a watch.

March Hares are not recommended for the average Tamer. They tend to be difficult to keep on task, rarely listen to what their Tamer has to say, and seem to be just plain bizarre in every way. Clock and watchmakers almost always hate them, as they insist that any timepiece they get a hold of is “broken”, which results in the infamous Mad Watch Effect. Skilled Tamers, on the other hand, have managed to make use of their bizarre natures and have made them into very effective combatants. There are no known cases of a threshold into a March Hare, although rumors persist that it occurs from an intense love of tea.