Chapter 35

 

Author’s note: This chapter presumes that you are familiar with Kelvin’s Choice’s story, Tamers and uses characters and situations from it with his permission. If you have not read it, you are very naughty and need to remedy the situation immediately. It is well worth the time.

 

            “Eve, do you have a moment?”

            The Megami-sama looked slightly annoyed for a second and then nodded. “We’re kind of busy right now, but since we’re waiting for the people going with us to finish getting their act together, I can make time for you if it’s quick. What is it, Vanessa?”

            Vanessa looked around quickly and dropped her voice. “I wanted to make clear that I’m under your command and all I ask is that you remember I’m pregnant when you send this poor G-Poindexter into battle.”

            A blue eyebrow went up incredulously. “What’s the catch?”

            “There isn’t any. You’re the maharani and I am not going to reveal who I really am unless it becomes absolutely necessary. That means I do what you say and I do it cheerfully.” Vanessa smiled thinly. “The fact that you and Kerrik are both competent makes this a lot easier than it might be.”

            Eve regarded her silently for several seconds. “Will your condition interfere with protecting Kerrik?”

            “Not in the slightest. I am a pokegirl, after all, built for war. Are you going to make me his bodyguard?”

            “I’m considering it, but the truth is that standing right next to our Kerrik is not necessarily the safest place on the battlefield.”

            Vanessa laughed. “That’s true enough, but I am tougher than most.”

            “Battle is never completely safe.”

            “Eve, nothing is ever completely safe. It’s not completely safe at home and I am not going to sit there and hope you all come back to me. I can and I will fight. Like Kerrik, hell, like everyone else in the harem, I have to look at myself in the mirror. Being a coward would make that impossible.”

            “Is it worth your pregnancy?”

            Vanessa touched her stomach through her blouse. “No, but truthfully I don’t expect to have to pay that price. Kerrik will pull me out before our child could be lost but a highly trained G-Point can do a lot of good before that point comes.”

            Eve nodded. “Ok, Vanessa. You’ll help April ride herd on everyone who is going through with us. Do what she tells you to. If we get into a fight, protect Kerrik and we’ll protect you. You covering him will free me up to deploy the entire combat harem to crush any threats.”

            Vanessa sketched a salute. “Yes, my maharani.”

            She headed for April, smiling at Iain as she passed him. He nodded to her before returning his attention to the Megami in front of him. “You wanted something, Cheryl?”

            “Janus was concerned that breeds not listed in Wild Horses and Pokegirls might not be able to exist in the dimension we were going to.”

            “Interesting theory.”

            She took a deep breath. “I wanted to warn you since you’re planning on taking through your harem, which has several breeds that weren’t in Wild Horses.”

            “Ok. Thanks for the warning.” He went back to reading one of the necromantic sections of his tome.

            She watched him for several seconds. “What are you going to do about it?”

            He looked up at her. “You’re still here?”

            “Of course I am. You could be leading your girls to certain death and I need to make sure you understand that.”

            He touched the spine of his book to his wrist and it sank into the skin, becoming a full color tattoo. “Did anyone expire when you crossed over the first time?”

            “No, but we were careful to only use the breeds listed in the story.”

            “That’s nice, but the truth is that Wild Horses had pokedex entries for a lot of the girls in the story. None of the pokegirls in that story exist in the same form today. In many cases, the changes have been so substantial that only the name is still the same. The idea that a pokegirl universe will destroy anything entering that isn’t native to that particular universe is interesting, but essentially invalid in this case since the Megami-sama isn’t native to Wild Horses and several entered and came back. Ergo, although I can appreciate the caution involved in worrying about it, that theory has been invalidated. I would also point out that Evangelion isn’t native to it and so under those rules she couldn’t exist locally to kill Janus.”

            Cheryl blinked and he watched the wheels grind into motion. “What about the one from here?”

            “I can almost absolutely guarantee that Evangelion from this universe has never met Janus and did not kill him.”

            “How?”

            “I asked her and she doesn’t lie to me. If she had killed Janus, she’d have admitted it and explained why she did it so I’d understand and not hate her. If she lies, she and I both know that eventually I will figure out that she was deceiving me. At that point, things will get a bit ugly.”

            “Why is it important that you not hate her?”

            “Cheryl, the people I hate die just as soon as I can get around to them, which is why I try not to hate people. Evangelion understands that. Janus is dead, and killing him the way he supposedly died is likely to get whoever did it on my special list of people to remove from this plane of existence.” He smiled grimly. “There is exactly one way to make absolutely sure that a murderer never murders again.”

            The Megami’s eyes widened. “Evangelion thinks you can kill her?”

            “We’re not sure if I could and neither one of us really wants to find out since someone would die in that situation. I only like a couple of the legendaries and she’s one of them. I don’t want to dislike Evangelion. I don’t want to dislike anybody. It’s just that some people apparently want me to dislike them.” He reached behind him and picked up his staff from where it leaned against the wall. “However, you just reminded me I need to do something before we all cross over.”

            Cheryl followed him as he headed into the compartment where the portal waited. It was a softly glowing parabola against one wall that made an arched doorway. Through it she could see a grassy field that overlooked Dogpatch, visible in the distance.

            Dominique was guarding the portal. Her gaze drifted across Cheryl and to Iain. She gave him a slightly annoyed look. “Are they ready yet?”

            “I think it’ll just be a few more minutes.” His fingers tightened on his staff. “I need to go through. Alone.”

            The Archmage shook her head. “You’re fucking nuts, Kerrik. Eve will have my heart for dinner if I let you do that.”

            “Call her.”

            A moment later Eve showed up, slipping past Cheryl with a muttered apology. She deliberately moved around to stand by Dominique, helping to block Iain’s access to the portal. “What is it,” she asked in an artificially sweet tone.

            “I’m going through first, by myself,” he said quietly. “And before you object, this is something I have to do. I won’t move out of sight and if I am attacked, you can come through to defend me.”

            “Why do you have to do this,” she asked bitterly. “We protect you, damn it.”

            “You do what you have to in order to protect me and I do what I have to in order to protect you. We both know that’s how it works.” He gave her a crooked smile. “You know I wouldn’t do this unless I thought it vitally important. After all, I’ve already got plenty of scars that nobody can see.”

            The Megami-sama reached out and gently traced his cheek with a fingertip. “I remember where every one of them was,” she whispered. “Be careful.” Her voice strengthened. “Will you wait until I can get Ninhursag here? I want the three of us ready to sterilize the place if you get into trouble.”

            He nodded. “I’ll wait a few minutes, but I need to do this before the others gather. It might be a bit flashy. If it helps, I’ve got all five tattoos on me, just like we planned.”

            “That is better, but not good enough.” Eve turned slightly. “Dominique, fetch Ninhursag.” The Archmage vanished and returned seconds later with her harem sister. “Ninhursag, be ready for combat.”

            The Elfqueen slipped her bow off her shoulder and shifted her quiver around for easy access. “I’m ready.”

            Cheryl stepped forward. “Can I help,” she asked quietly.

            Eve started to snap something but stopped when Iain raised his hand. “Keep anyone else from getting involved if something does happen,” he replied. “If I get into trouble on that side things are going to be bad enough without a bunch of strangers we’ve never worked with trying to charge in and help.”

            “Including me?” Cheryl was professional enough not to let the hurt show as she smiled and nodded. “I’ll keep them off your back.” She turned to Eve. “If anything happens, I’ll cover your retreat and help kill anything that comes through after you.”

            “Thanks.” Iain tried to whistle nonchalantly as he stepped forward, but it sounded strained and he stopped, merely gripping his staff tightly. There was a crackle as he touched the mystical passage between universes and then he stepped through.

            “Me first, then Dominique and Ninhursag,” Eve said as she summoned her sword, shield and armor. Her eyes were glued on her husband as he took two steps forward and stopped to slowly turn in a circle. He smiled and gave them a thumbs-up before turning to face the distant village. Then he squared his shoulders and planted the butt of the staff firmly in the dirt.

            Suddenly the scene twisted and flared brightly, burning through the colors of the spectrum before returning to normal in a heartbeat that seemed to last forever. Closely followed by her harem sisters, Eve lunged through the portal and grabbed Iain as he slumped. He shook his head and said something to her and she held him as they moved back through the portal, Dominique and Ninhursag covering them and returning last.

            Iain tried to shrug away from Eve. “I’m fine,” he said waspishly.

            She dismissed her weapons and armor as she wrapped both arms around him from behind. “You will be in a minute.” She looked up. “Thank you, Cheryl. Now please go find the others and tell them to get their asses in gear. I’m tired of waiting for them and Kerrik is too weary to argue with me right now if I hurry everyone along. Ninhursag, go with her and help April and Vanessa chivvy them into motion. I’m serious, Cheryl. If they don’t show up right now, we’re going through without them.”

            Cheryl nodded. “I’ll straighten out whatever is going on.”

            Dominique moved to stand nose to nose with Iain. “You want to explain what you just did.”

            He shook his head. “Not particularly.”

            “You didn’t hear me, did you? I didn’t ask a question. I said that you do want to explain what happened. So do so.”

            Iain looked evenly into her eyes before sighing. “Fine. There was a potential issue with that universe rejecting pokegirls who didn’t exist when the story was written. There was a very slight chance that it would be a problem, but since it addresses your safety, I had to see if I could hedge my bets.”

            “So what did you do?”

            “You all know that I’m an author and that the authors so far show a series of special powers involved in regards to affecting reality around us. Well, the idea that I am an author suggested that other things about us extraplanar beings might also be true. I am not just an author back in the dimension I came from. I am also an admin, with the power to make stories canon or alternate universe. So, when I crossed over, I tried to claim that universe as alternate universe, meaning anything can happen in it, like breeds that normally shouldn’t exist not being obliterated even if the universe were inclined to treat them that way.”

            Dominique blinked. “Did it work?”

            “We all saw that something happened, but I have no idea if changed the conditions there to what I wanted or not. I do know that breeds not in the story can exist here, whether I made it so or whether they could originally.”

            Ninhursag was looking through the portal. “How do you know that?”

            “Dominique is an Archmage and she just went over to save me.”

            Crimson eyes narrowed. “You risked my life to test your theory?”

            He didn’t look away. “No, I accepted the fact that if I ordered you to stay here you’d have ignored it and used it to my advantage. The first rule of leadership is to never give orders you know will be disobeyed.”

            Dominique snorted. “It’s your fault I don’t always obey you. You let me.”

            “You’re giving me credit for how marvelous you are? I wish I could accept that but I can’t.” He began unwrapping Eve’s arms from around him. “How long can you hold the portal open, Dominique?”

            “I can keep it stable for a long time without any difficulty. With Eve combining her magic with mine, we can keep it open for days. The plan is to close it once we’re on the other side and reopen it when we’re ready to return home. That’ll let us be free to fight if we need to.”

            April came into the compartment. “We’re ready to go. It turns out the delay was because the Captain said only two members of Janus’ harem could attend and everybody except Cheryl all went to argue the order with her. That’s why we haven’t seen Miguelito either. He went with them to lend his weight to the discussion. Nobody bothered to tell us about it. They finally settled things with her and they’re all coming along.”

            “Peachy.” Iain bared his teeth in a silent snarl. “Get them moving before I tell them all to bugger off and we leave them here.” He turned and almost stomped through the portal.

            “I’ve got him until you can get Vanessa in position.” Ninhursag gave Eve a look and hurried after him.

 

***

 

            Iain watched the line of pokegirls trooping through the portal and glanced at the Titmouse as she came up to him. “Angie.”

            Her ears flicked at his tone. “I really thought someone had told you we were going to discuss things with the Captain.”

            “Apparently so did everyone else.”

            She flushed slightly. “I’m sorry, Kerrik. It won’t happen again.”

            He stiffened before he could respond. “I didn’t know there was a Dildoqueen in Janus’ harem.”

            She turned to look. “Sabrina? She was in Kitten’s harem. She joined us after Kitten was killed. What’s the matter?”

            He glanced at her and forced himself to relax. “Nothing. It’s just a surprise, that’s all. How many girls are in Janus’ harem?”

            “Sixteen. Then you add in Eko and Kay for the Sunshine League and Dr. Carmen, Voltaire and Dr. Marilyn.”

            He nodded. “Don’t forget the two Megami from the Daisy Mae. I’ve met Gwendoline, but the other one I don’t know.”

            “That’s Guns, the Gunnery Officer.”

            “Thanks for the information. I’ll try to meet her later.” He scratched his chin. “I have been told that you and Cheryl know the physical location where Janus was killed. Will you lead us there?”

            “I’d be glad to. What are you going to do about the police?”

            “Are we breaking some Indigo League law?”

            “You’ve got a lot of pokegirls here. The Indigo police might not like that.”

            Iain shrugged. “I’m a tradesman and Indigo recognizes my job as a legal profession. I happen to be a hunter and I’m licensed for a hundred pokegirls or less. My license is valid due to the reciprocity agreements between Indigo and Blue. I’m not breaking any laws with all of you and I see no reason to seek out the police and beg their permission to visit Dogpatch. At the very least it’ll put me as acting out of character and that makes police suspicious.”

            She cocked her head and smiled. “You’d claim us as yours? That’s very kind of you.”

            He gave her a flat look. “I am so not keeping all of you.”

            “I didn’t think you would, Kerrik, but the fact remains that Janus is dead and we no longer have a tamer. In Sunshine that’s not the problem it would be in many other leagues, but Janus’ harem is going to dissolve shortly. Many of us will be seeking new tamers and you don’t seem to be a bad choice, especially now that we know you’re not here to kill everybody. If there is anyone you are interested in, please talk to them. I’m sure they’d be willing to at least listen to your request.”

            Iain twisted his grip around his staff and tried not to bellow in frustration at the Titmouse. Finally he trusted himself enough to reply. “Angie, I’ll try to give your suggestion the consideration it deserves just as soon as I have a few minutes to think about it.”

            “Thank you. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll get with Cheryl and we’ll start leading everyone to where Janus died.”

            Vanessa watched Angie leave. “For a moment there I thought you were going to hit her.”

            He glanced at her. “I was.” Air hissed from between his lips in what wasn’t quite a growl. “Most of them don’t want anything to do with me. Maybe they still wonder if Miguelito was right and I came here ready to exact revenge for the death of someone I never met and didn’t even know was dead when I arrived. I don’t know and I’m not going to ask.” He snorted. “Hell, Jen hasn’t spoken one word to me since she realized she couldn’t beat me up for not showing up to save Janus.”

            Blue green eyes looked at him over her half glasses. “Something has you pissed off. What is it, Iain?”

            “I’m Kerrik, remember?”

            “No matter what you call yourself, you are still who you are and you don’t think of yourself as Kerrik Wolf. Now, what’s eating at you?”

            He grumbled softly and then spat the words out. “Kelvin knew I was here.” He thumped the butt of his staff on the ground. “He knew I was here and they knew I was here and he decided I was too fucking pathetic to contact.”

            Vanessa blinked. “You, pathetic? I don’t think you have been that and certainly not since you came here.”

            His voice was a snarl. “Miguelito let it slip that Kelvin decided that contacting me might bring the wrath of others down on my head and since I didn’t have the resources he did, he felt that I sucked too much for him to let that happen. I wasn’t good enough to help him.”

            “I’m surprised that bothers you as much as it does. He isn’t in your bubble.”

            Iain shrugged. “There aren’t that many of us here and we do kind of know each other. I’d have helped Kelvin. I’d help Micah if he asked me to.”

            “Are you going to take that anger out on his harem? Your fury is directed at a dead man, and I suspect that if they’d had a voice in the decision they’d have pulled in anyone and anything that could have helped make their tamer the tiniest bit safer.” She smiled when he grimaced. “That’s right; it is what pokegirls do after all. If they’d known where you were, they might have gone off and gotten you with or without his permission. It’s obvious that at least some of them cared for him very much and he didn’t exercise draconian control over them.”

            “No, I am not going to take that anger out on his harem. They don’t deserve it.”

            “Are you going to take that anger out on anyone? Kelvin is already dead.”

            He growled. “I know.”
            “What are you going to do?”

            “I am going to find out who killed Kelvin and make sure they can’t get us.”

            “Have you realized that whoever it was didn’t hurt his harem?”

            Iain blinked and smiled slowly. “No, hadn’t realized that.”

            Vanessa frowned. “Eve was right. You’re worried more about our safety than your own.”

            “It’s what I do.”

            “You do realize that if you die and leave us alone, it’ll be worse for us than if we died with you?”

            “We? Are you part of my harem?” He frowned when she wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Vanessa, are we delta bonded?”

            She looked at her hands. “I, I don’t know. I’m afraid to find out.”

            “Then I retract the question.”

            Her eyes narrowed. “You don’t want to know?”

            “I want very much to know, but apparently you don’t and I’m not going to force the issue. My wanting to know isn’t as important as you being as happy and stress free as possible.”

            “Oh.”

            Iain, we may have a problem. It was April. There’re some police here who want to talk to the human in charge.

            Iain sighed. We’re on our way. He snapped his fingers loudly and Zareen looked up from where she was watching the portal. He waved. Immediately she shifted to her equine form and raced in his direction, skidding to a halt in front of him. “Zareen, help Vanessa, get on.”

            “I don’t,” Vanessa broke off as Zareen grabbed her under the armpits and twisted to drape the G-Point across her back. “Damnit!” She began struggling to break free of the Nightmare’s grasp.

            Zareen was obviously trying to avoid hurting Vanessa as she fought. “Hurry before she can fall off.”

            Iain slipped onto Zareen’s back and lifted Vanessa against him. “Stop fighting me.” He shifted her around so she was sitting sidesaddle and resting sideways against his body. “Go, Zareen.”

            Vanessa stopped struggling as the Nightmare shot forward. She glared at him briefly. “That was humiliating.”

            “I won’t tell anyone and Zareen doesn’t talk. When we’re in a hurry is not the time to argue with me about how we’re going to travel, my cute little G-Point.”

            “I almost peed myself. I need to find someplace to go to the bathroom.”

            Iain managed not to laugh. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

            Zareen didn’t bother to go around the pokegirls grouped ahead of her and instead phased as she ran through them. There were yells of fear and anger behind her as she pulled up next to April.

            The Duelist was squared off facing Eko and Kay. They wanted to whip out some badges and make life difficult for us. I told them to wait and see if you could find a better way.

            Iain slid off of the Nightmare’s back and caught Vanessa as she dropped. He steadied her and turned to the Officerjenny and human woman wearing police uniforms. “Good afternoon, officers. I’m Tradesman Kerrik Wolf and I’m in charge of this cavalcade.”

            The woman gestured at Eko, Kay and April. “Why were they fighting if you’re in charge?”

            “Eko and Kay are new to my harem and April was making sure things didn’t get out of hand. Is there something I can help you ladies with?”

            “ID.” The woman, whose nametag read BARNES, held out her hand.

            Iain gave her his pokedex. “Of course.”

            She pulled up his information. “You’re a hunter?”

            “Yeah. That’s why I’ve got so many pokegirls, that and the recent Sadie Pokens. Fortunately I’m not anywhere near being over my limit.”

            The Officerjenny, whose name was Nina, was alertly scanning the group. “Where did you celebrate Sadie Pokens?”

            “In Sunshine. I’m from Blue, but I was in Sunshine on business when Sadie Pokens rolled around.”

            “Uh huh.” The woman tucked the pokedex under her arm. “What’s your business here in Dogpatch, Mr. Wolf?”

            Iain grimaced. “I’m here to visit the place where a friend of mine died. I don’t have many friends and I try to say goodbye to the ones who finish their life’s journey.”

            Sympathy glittered in Nina’s eyes. “I’m sorry to hear of your loss. When did he die?”

            Iain looked around deliberately and dropped his voice slightly. To his amusement, he noticed the pokegirls around him drifting forward to hear. “I’m pretty sure that you didn’t hear about some super secret operation that took place right before Sadie Pokens this year.”

            Barnes blinked and chuckled. “Of course not. Nothing like that happened and I’ve already read the orders that were never written not to discuss this event which didn’t take place.”

            Iain nodded. “Well, since nothing like that happened, for no particular reason my friend dropped dead right when all of this nothing was going on and his body dissolved before anybody could get to it.”

            The Officerjenny scowled. “We definitely didn’t hear about any deaths.”

            “Officer, I didn’t hear about his death either, especially not through any official channels.” He snorted. “The Celestial Alliance doesn’t bother to tell its rank and file anything they don’t feel we need and we all know they tell outsiders even less. I don’t know what the fuck wasn’t going on. Apparently, I’m just too low on the food chain to be told anything interesting. All I know is the operation took place, my friend coincidentally dropped dead during it and his body was never recovered.” He gestured to his right. “Cheryl, here, knows where it all happened and I just wanted to tell my friend goodbye.”

            “You’re with the celestials?”

            Iain shrugged. “Of course I’m not, officer. I’m surrounded by celestial pokegirls because I was a very bad boy and they’re making sure I atone for it every single second.”

            Laughter swept through the group and Iain was relieved to see Barnes and Nina join in. The human woman offered him his pokedex back. “Who’s he?” She jerked her thumb at Carmen.

            “Dr. Miguelito Carmen,” the dwarf said grandly as he stepped up next to Iain, tipping an imaginary hat at the two police. “I’m also a friend of our dear departed and I wanted to say my farewells to him.”

            Barnes eyed him and looked at Iain. “You vouch for him, Wolf?”

            “I do indeed. Miguelito is a good man. I actually met him because of Janus.”

            Nina gave him a curious look. “Janus?”

            “He’s the friend who died here. He was like me, and with our job sometimes our names change to protect the guilty. I knew him as Janus and he knew me as Kerrik.”

            “What about him?”

            Iain chuckled. “Miguelito is that rare thing, an honest man, and gets by with only the one name. Me, sometimes I wake up wondering just who I am.” He flashed teeth. “If I were any more of a spook, I’d be transparent.”

            Barnes shook her head. “I don’t like spooks.”

            “To be honest, officer, neither do I. This was not my first choice for a career. Can I visit my friend?”

            Barnes nodded. “I’ll let the rest of the force know what’s going on. Did they get your friend’s killer?”

            “Officer, if they hadn’t I’d be here on a very different mission and, sadly, I’d probably know a lot more about what happened.”

            Eko glared at him as the two Dogpatch police left. “My way would have been faster.”

            Iain didn’t look impressed. “Perhaps, but outsiders coming around and flashing badges and announcing they’re on secret missions and the locals need to stand around with their thumbs up their collective asses really pisses said locals off. Sometimes they get so fucking pissed that they become obstructionist or sticklers for the law even more than usual, Officerjenny Eriko. Nobody likes being told they’re a small fish in a small pond and nobody likes it to happen to them more than once in a few days.”

            “If we get attacked, they might be able to help.”

            Iain sneered at her. “Eko, there are no Sanctuary personnel here and you people zapped all of the Celestial Alliance people who came through. Who is going to attack us? Even if some local is dumb enough to pick a fight with us, I have Eve, Ninhursag, Dominique, April and Zareen. Add in two Tyrannodames and the rest of you and this entire town is going to be kindling before the fighting is all over. The local police will be reduced to pulling bodies from the rubble, and that only if they survive the cataclysm that will have hit this place. I’m sorry to say that about them, but no matter how competent they are, they are still small fish in a small pond and we are fucking Sharptits in comparison.”

            “I don’t fuck Sharptits.” Zareen gave him a broad smile when he stared at her in bewilderment. “Looks painful.”

            April and Vanessa burst out laughing as he closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. Finally he chuckled. “Angie?”

            The Titmouse’s ears came up. “Yes, Kerrik?”

            “You and Cheryl please lead us to the place Janus died.”

            “Ok.” She put her head together with the Megami and they consulted for a moment before heading down a street.

            He found Eve walking beside him. “What?”

            “Ninhursag and I both want to put out a security element and we’re not sure why.”

            Iain considered the place and felt his skin crawl. “I feel it too. This place isn’t ours and something in it isn’t necessarily happy that we’re here. It’s a shame too.” When she raised an eyebrow he gave a wave of his wrist. “There’s nobody here trying to kill us. Hell, nobody here knows who Kerrik Wolf is. Here, the word author doesn’t have any special meaning.”

            Her eyes widened and then darkened. “That’s not necessarily true. Someone killed Kelvin.”

            At this point, Eoghan and Germanicus are still alive. Eirian’s thought came sharp and clear. I can feel our killer’s presence far to the east.

            Iain pulled his teeth back in a snarl. I could wrest control of the six Dragonesses here from him. Would eleven of you be able to take them down?

            He felt the sudden surge of pure anger and glee. Yes, shivered through him. We could go there and steal them from him and you would have eleven of us to fight with.

            He gave a mental shake of his head. I’d have to get their mind gems and we know what he would do if a mortal violated his demesne while he was still active. I would die in short order and then he, assuming I was a knight, would invade and sterilize the Order’s fortress. I would not have him do that because of me. We’ll go with the other plan.

            Then we need life to convert and we need it soon.

            Iain trembled at the naked hunger in the thought and grabbed Eve’s hand. “You’re right. Someone did kill Kelvin and they might have come from here. We’ll just have to stay on guard.”

            After a few false starts, Angie and Cheryl led them into an alley that showed signs of damage. Rubble strewed the alley and part of a wall had been covered with plywood in a temporary repair. A patch of concrete was discolored and rippled, as if from great heat. Angie turned to the rest of Kelvin’s harem. “He died here, slain by Evangelion.”

            Vanessa just took a deep breath and relaxed when Iain took one of her hands and Eve took the other. “Thank you,” she whispered.

            Eve winked. “You carry for all of us right now. You’re one of us.”

            Vanessa looked startled and then distinctly pleased.

            Iain let her hand go and moved forward as Janus’ harem gathered around the spot where their tamer had died. He stopped and waited for several minutes as they quietly mourned their loss. Finally he caught Angie’s eye and with the help of Cheryl and Rainbow she began to move people away from the site.

            Iain moved to the discolored spot. Ladies, you are dead and if you are caught in the effect of the spell, you may not be able to return. Leave and set up a distant perimeter. Watch only, unless I give specific orders otherwise.

            There were gasps as the Dragonesses poured from his body. Isaik watched with narrowed eyes as they slipped into the available shadows and vanished into them. “They are not alive!”

            He didn’t look at her as he focused his will. “I am a necromancer. That is why I am able to summon the shades of the dead. The Dragonesses serve me and are mine.”

            “How?”

            “Shut up,” he snarled without really realizing it. “I’m busy.” One of the things Dominique and Iain had in common was that when they were completely focused, they didn’t take distraction well and had a tendency to lash out, verbally in Iain’s case.

            Dominique usually just set people on fire.

            He reached out with his power and twisted, forcing open the connection between Janus and this place and drawing him forth from wherever he was. The air wavered and a cold breeze began to blow up the alleyway. The air grew thicker and darker for a moment and then a wall sprang up across the alley. A door was in the middle of it and above it a lighted sign ran from wall to wall and read “e’s Eate”. A curve of letter on the left suggested that the sign continued on into the wall on both sides.

            Iain rubbed his cheek. “Well, shit.”

            Eve touched him on the shoulder. “What happened?”

            “Janus was in the Lands of the Dead and instead of summoning him I apparently pulled part of the lands here. Presumably he’s on the other side of that door.” He frowned and muttered so softly that only Eve and Ninhursag heard him. “I shouldn’t have been able to do that.”

            Vanessa frowned. “What are the Lands of the Dead?”

            “When you die, your soul goes to the Lands of the Dead. It’s a dimension of and for death, where the dead can come to terms with what happened to them. It’s infinite, just like any dimension, and is dotted with portals going to different places. Once a dead person is ready, they go to the portal associated with whatever religion they follow and continue their journey. Many atheists and agnostics remain in the Lands of the Dead forever while others eventually find someplace else to go. Some religious people remain there too, either out of fear of what’s waiting for them or while waiting on loved ones to join them. Essentially, the lands of the dead are a way station on the road the dead follow to their individual destinations.”

            Jen stared at the wall. “They have restaurants there?” Behind her he could see Miguelito and Dr. Marilyn whispering together.

            “The place is magical and has whatever the dead need to come to terms with what they are. And many final planes are set up like places for the living, the only difference being that nobody is born or dies there.”

            He looked at his staff. “I really need a way to store you.” He yelped as it shimmered and flowed into his skin, leaving a silver tattoo of a spray of leaves. “Damn, that feels weird.” He looked around. “The Dragonesses will stand watch and protect this place, so everyone can come if they want.” Suddenly there was a scrum at the door as the members of Janus’ harem crowded forward and he waited until everyone else had shoved their way inside. “Apparently they want to see him again. I do hope they let us talk, too.”

            Miguelito had waited with Voltaire and Dr. Marilyn and he chuckled. “I’m sure you can convince them to give you two a few minutes if it means they learn the truth about how he died.” He waved his pokegirls forward, now that everyone else has entered, I think we’ll go see what this Land of the Dead you speak of looks like.”

            Iain watched him enter and turned to Eve. “You ladies go first. That’ll hopefully keep me from being crushed in the crowd inside. I’ll be right behind you.”

            “Sounds good.” Iain watched them pass through the door and then followed.

            A bell attached to the door tinkled softly as he entered. The place was a restaurant of some kind; he could smell the rich aroma of spicy meat as the door shut behind him. A small sign on the counter where the register sat read “Jane’s Eatery”. A stout woman behind the counter blinked at his appearance and gave him a halfhearted smile around the cigarette between her lips. The coal flared red as she sucked on the cig. “We don’t get many of your kind here, necromancer. Are you with all those living that just tried to enter?”

            Iain looked around. Booths lined the walls. Near the register sat a bar, set up with salad fixings and two huge pots of chili. One pot had a sign that read “beans” while the other’s sign read “No beans”. Bowls of crackers, Frito’s chips, shredded cheese, sliced onions and sour cream were strategically placed around the pots of chili. Trays of bread and cornbread were dispersed among the salad fixings. Next to a stack of clean bowls were a row of bottles of sauce of increasing intensity, ending with a stainless steel bottle resting in a nest made of dry ice. The label above it read in screaming crimson letters “Widow’s Blood.”

            Two of the booths were occupied. The one next to the door held a woman with rich purple hair who was watching him with purple eyes the same color as her hair while she stirred a bowl of chili idly with a spoon. He nodded to her and she returned the nod before going back to her meal. A booth in the rear of the room held a man who motioned to the bench on the other side of the table from him when Iain looked in his direction. “I’ll warn you, the Widow’s Blood is definitely an acquired taste.”

            Other than the four of them, the building appeared empty. Iain looked at the woman behind the counter. “Are you Jane?”

            “Jane left a long time ago. I’m Matilda and I own the place now.”

            “You mentioned other living who tried to enter. What happened to them?”

            She chuckled, making the fat on her face jiggle. “They’re here and they’re safe. The living can’t interact with us, so they get segregated into the watching area when they end up here somehow. Only us dead and you necromancers can come here. Your living are only here because you brought them and they’ll leave when you do.”

            “Thanks for explaining. I’d get some chili, but I don’t have any money.”

            “Nobody does. Money doesn’t exist here, but then we’re dead and don’t really have an economy. Have something to eat if you want or don’t if you don’t.”

            Iain shook his head and headed for the man’s booth. He slipped into it. “Kelvin?”

            The man smiled slightly. “There’s nothing wrong, Kerrik, it’s just a question of the importance of creator or creation. I’ve always been on the side of creation, hence the surroundings. Besides, I rather dislike what I look like now. My travails were harder on me than I thought. Its Illinois chili-parlor style, but you can spice things up to meet your taste. I'm glad you showed up. I should have called you first to arrange things correctly, but I have been very busy. And time doesn't seem to pass here like it does elsewhere. I can work for a month, and five minutes has gone by, or glance away in boredom, and when I look back, it's an hour ago. It's like importance is linked to duration, and simultaneity doesn't exist. I think this universe is screwing with my head. But they're too late!”

            “This place will do that,” Iain said quietly. He tapped a nail on the tabletop. “I’m going to try to keep a firm grip on my temper, but I have some questions for you. What made you decide I couldn’t be bothered with?”

            “While Miguelito disagreed with my decision at the time, he doesn't remember that when I originally made that decision, we were facing an invasion of demons. Not Infernals, real honest-to-God demons. Frankly, a pack of Titan-Legendaries wouldn't have been of any help.” Kelvin leaned forward intently. “I had a plan, and I carried it out. They not only ceased to exist, they never existed in this universe. After what I did to them, the universe changed things to fill the resulting hole, so that everyone remembered that we were always going after the Sanctuary sea base. You might ask why we had three of the League's most respected exorcists aboard to deal with Sanctuary Goths.”

            “Besides, I thought the headline that Disneyland was going to be recreated would have sent up flares to anyone paying attention.”

            “I disagree, Kelvin. Any demon that can exist in reality cannot be as bad as the ones that inhabit me. I could have helped.”

            “At the time Miguelito and I had that discussion, you only had Eve and Scheherazade and hadn’t even begun to awaken any of the power you have. You can disagree all you want, it was my decision.”

            Iain’s face set. “It was and it killed you. I don’t really feel any guilt over it, but my help might have kept you alive.”

            “Hindsight is always 20/10, Kerrik, and we do what we see clearly at the time.”

            “No, we do what we think we see needs to be done. You got it wrong, Kelvin, and it cost your harem their tamer.”

            Kelvin winced. “You're right. I flat got it wrong. While it's not an excuse, maybe it's an explanation. I saw what the S-Goths did to you; the SLIS had recordings the Goth's took of all of our sessions. I also know what they did to me. I don't know who went first. Whether I was a prototype, or a product improvement experiment. When I proved resistant to their experiments, they disassembled me, trying to see what shocked me the most. At that point I just quit reacting to anything. Pain, pleasure, it all stopped affecting where the real me went and hid. Maus, Warden and Isaik drew me back out, until I thought Eko and Kay killed Maus and Warden. After that, I could feel, but it was like you'd react to a newspaper account of something a week ago, in another country. The emotional immediacy was gone, completely. Where you've delta-bonded your harem, while I'd barely alpha-bonded mine. And you are about to walk into the same trap with you controlling your emotions to control your truewizardry. It isn't worth it. I can see that, now.”

            Iain held up his hand, the fingers extended and the palm horizontal. It trembled and his eyes narrowed. Suddenly he clenched it into a fist so tightly that the knuckles turned white. It still trembled faintly. “I can’t make it stop. What they did to me will color my perception for centuries, if I live that long. Pain, pleasure, time, it’s all mixed up and I have to be very careful to use the delta bonds so I know I’m making them feel good whenever I do anything with them. Maybe it’s why we have them. But I can function, Kelvin. I can and I will protect them. I just have to remember that killing does not take the place of sex.” He shuddered and put his hands flat on the table. “It’s never just about us, Kelvin, and you know it. Every decision we make affects them from the instant they become a part of our lives, whether we allow them or they worm their way in.”

            “What about your mistakes?”

            Iain blinked. “Mine? What are you talking about?”

            Kelvin smiled amusedly. “There are some girls here who know you. I'm terribly sorry for your loss, but they have been a true Godsend on my end. Please tell Blossom and Rainbow that Montsho is living up to the very high standards they set. Why is it that people think MilkTits are stupid? Hathor is shy, retiring and gentle yes, stupid no. And when did Macavity become a wolf? Scheherazade comes up with things I think you'd appreciate, and seems to practically glow when I tell her that.”

            Iain’s eyes closed in pain for a second. “They’re good people,” he whispered. “I miss them so much.”

            Kelvin nodded. “Kitten's glad to have people to look after again and just wants to watch her ‘Nondo’ grow and learn, she can watch her and wants Nondo not to hurry to her. She'll love anyone she falls in love with as Nondo would. I should be able to arrange a few connubial dreams in a while. It's just that right now, I'd have to experience some of it. There are certain uses for feathers - I really don't want to know about.”

            “I accept the fact that I killed them, but that still hurts.” A thread of smoke spun up from the table. Iain blinked and pulled his hand away to reveal a scorched spot the size of the tip of his index finger. He wiped at it and glanced guiltily over his shoulder at Matilda. “I’m glad they’re here and adapting well.” He frowned. “But that was a pretty lame attempt to change the subject.” He took a deep breath and got a grip on his anger. “Your girls miss you a lot. How are you doing, Kelvin?”

            “How? That depends on what is is. I don’t think I’m dead, at least not really. I was killed, but, what’s the theory that gods are created from the dreams of men?”

            “It depends on the religion as to what the gods really are, but I do know that one pretty well. Is that what you think? We’re gods?”

            “Maybe. You see, among the S-Goths, it started with the younger ones, they have - you know, the ones who’d be over-the-top Twilight fans in our world, but since then, it’s moved into their military. The Tyrannodames mostly, or as they’ve started calling themselves ‘Sturmgeschutz’ or Stug, I just can’t imagine where they got that from.”

            He paused to take a swallow from a glass of tea. “Anyway, while we were headed to the floating base, a unit of green Tyrannodames were sent in to deal with a Zombabe outbreak on the Dark Continent, something about a zombie plague-hamster you set loose on them?”

            Iain snorted. “Tippie was not my fault. I just had to clean up after the rodent and murder a little girl before she became a monster.”

            Kelvin put the glass down and began making rings with the condensation. “Anyway, a couple of them had been at Sanctuary proper during the ‘Night of Terror’ when the S-Goth leaders bugged out and left everyone to face my wrath. Another was on guard duty when the report of Jenova’s head arrived. Later, they got a hold of some of our stories and they started circulating them. So they basically said ‘Oh great author/destroyers, if you can get me out of this alive, I’ll make Sanctuary what it claims to be.’ Their unit got out with nary an infection, and barely a scratch. You’re ex-military, when something works that well, and then continues to work that well, you keep using it/doing it.”

            “Yeah, any military is full of superstitious people.”

            Kelvin nodded. “That’s the deal they’ve been making, call on one of us and promise to make Sanctuary better, or doing something to make Sanctuary better. Somehow, now things work. I don’t know who’s worried more, them, or us.”

            Iain blinked. “That is scary. It leads to a very dangerous place for us. Godhead is a mantle that other gods are very jealous of strangers donning. They also don’t tend do discriminate between dead and living deities when they start throwing smitings around.”

            “Something I’ve become well aware of.” Kelvin nodded. “Once I got here, I started putting it on a more rational basis. Well, I was sort of already here, but when all of me got here. It’s hard to explain, we grew up understanding Cartesian coordinates, vectors, plane and phase spaces were all for affixing the universe, and other dimensions, but here you find out they’re actually just tap-dancing mice. That didn’t help much, did it?”

            “No, but sadly it makes sense to me.” Iain chuckled softly.

            “From here that was a perfectly scientific, rational, and easily understood and demonstrable explanation. There are a lot of wholly objective things that become highly subjective. AH! Jonathan Livingston Seagull’s perfect speed, beyond teleportation, you actually interact as intimately with the terrain as if you walked from place to place, but you are there before any time has passed.”

            Iain leaned back in his seat. “‘You must begin by knowing that you’ve already arrived’. I remember that novel well. Have you been able to harness any of this?” Unspoken was the real question. How can I use this to protect my family?

            “Nothing big and flashy, but a couple of times I did arrange the patently impossible, but they were always so minor, I can’t be blamed for that. Well that once - I’ve always hated Vampires, parasites in evening dress, so one glaringly obvious - it was the music that was probably over the top, but Akira Ikufube just seemed so right, to save an all-dino force. And I really wanted them to know it was me. You would have loved the Tyrannodames’ expressions when they looked at the Dameos. Almost as good as the Vampires. Fish missile indeed. Sherry thought it was hilarious. If she wasn’t here already, I think she would have died laughing.” He laughed for a moment. “Mostly I got them to focus on a few unit flashes so they could recognize each other. Or I already had been when I got here. Once they start realizing they aren’t alone, then I hardly have to do anything, except make their infiltrators inept. Sorry, I was trying for a wolf, but it seems to be more a jaguar with a canine head, sort of a cougar/greyhound running flat out look.”

            “That’s fine. The wolf isn’t my symbol, so that’s perfect.”

            Kelvin’s eyes glittered. “Micah’s ram’s head was a gimme, but . . . don’t tell Micah, but they always mount it on a baton and . . . you’re a Tradesman, you can guess. They say it can keep away ferality when used on another. Not cure mind you, but keep it away. At first I thought ‘Duh!’ Then I learned their troops are told only a human or an S-Goth can do that. They figure it out for themselves later, but then the S-Goths tell them they ‘enable’ loyal troops to do it for others. Don’t these idiots play it straight with anybody? Or is lying automatic for their leadership?”

            He continued on without pausing for Iain to respond. “PJAuthor is a pair of interlocked rings with all this filigree on them. They usually get that as a tattoo somewhere they can conceal or reveal easily. I have no idea where that came from. I’m an eye with a magnifying glass set as the iris. Ditto. At least it isn’t flaming, or I’d have to deal with J.R.R. and C.S. beating the crap out of me. Jesse is a Panthress’ head; yeah that’s a no-brainer. FF is the ouroboros, there are a couple of others, but they haven’t really gelled into one symbol. But frankly, you, me and Micah are the ‘big three’. They haven’t worked out the trinity cosmology as such, and I’m tempted to direct it to Bugs Bunny, Mickey Mouse and Felix the Cat, or Daffy Duck, Donald Duck and Tom of Tom and Jerry.”

            Iain laughed softly. “That’s a hell of a pantheon, Kelvin, and a hell of a mental image.”

            Kelvin sobered abruptly. “Do something for me. Don’t ask Warden and Maus their origin. They won’t lie about it, but they won’t be comfortable answering. Hild created them, as a control on me, and basically set them free with no strings to do as they wished; because she needed the ripples we’d create to complete her own plans. I now have a better idea what those plans were, and I’m glad she had rotten impulse control. But those two are clean. Isaik and Underground . . . I think that disrupting Hild’s tracking spell can be done. It’s not intrinsic to her. I’m not a mage of any real power, but I can alter the effects to strip away the shielding. Then you could dig it out, if you wanted to take her with. I’m afraid that Underground would be willing and eager to join Beryl, and she’s got the attitude. Isaik . . . I’m not sure. She’s probably going to be stuck as a cute little kid for the rest of her life, but she’s smart, and she’s hurting. She needs to belong. If you don’t want her, I understand. I sent Karen to Soldier of Love, but I think you need a planner and all-around sneak. She didn’t fail me; neither did Maus, or Warden. I basically ran off a cliff and didn’t think about landing. I’d scared them so much; they didn’t try to stop me.”

            “It happens. I accidentally scared the spit out of my ladies a couple of times too.”

            “I also need to apologize to you. You were one of the few other authors I admired, and was a bit jealous of. So when they saw the machinations I pulled off, and how I dealt with people who tried to hurt me and mine, they assumed you’d do the same. I don’t think they made the connection that a lot of what I ‘did’ was only make ultimatums, and rarely did I have to carry them out. Ask Cheryl what I told her I’d do to the Megami as a breed, and then if I actually did it. Of course when they realized I’d created The March Hare, Hazel and Stupid Fuzzbutt, among others, I think they assumed I was capable of carrying out most anything. But they saw me in the flesh and that I could be a clown, and that maybe I was joking. You probably came across as much more serious.”

            “Serious? They thought I was coming to kill them all, Kelvin, and they’re having a hard time moving past that.”

            “They’ll be fine when they get to know you.”

            “Maybe. I’m not so sure about that, but I guess it doesn’t really matter at this point.” He leaned forward, clasping his fingers together. “I’ve been told stories about how you died, Kelvin, including one where you were killed by Evangelion. If you can, please tell me what really happened?”

            “Listen carefully: I refuse to answer that question under any circumstances. Now you can truthfully tell everyone that’s what I said. After all, if my patron Hild couldn’t protect me from that 30-meter-tall robot woman, what makes you think you have a chance?”

            Iain’s eyes hardened. “I see. Now you listen to me. I think I understand why you’d be worried about potential repercussions. Even the Megami would hesitate to involve themselves in the kind of masquerades that could bring themselves to the attention of your patron, much less the robot woman.”

            “Wisdom indeed comes, grasshopper.”

            “It’s a lesson hard earned, but forewarned is forearmed. I can’t stay long, Kelvin, but do you have any messages or advice you can give?”

            He nodded. “I suggest that you don’t visit Granny, but deal with her by message or courier. It seems that your assumption that political leaders are usually asshats would affect her in a face-to-face, but at a distance in time and space, she’s immune. The Sunshine leadership honestly thought that Kay and Eko would be able to handle it, handle me, but they were affected badly and couldn’t compensate properly. Didn’t even know to compensate. I didn’t know I was even doing it, and probably couldn’t have stopped it if I tried. It was more benign with Maus and Warden; I knew they wouldn’t hurt me and that they’d look after me. With a large, and more importantly a well-established harem, the effect is dissipated, so having them with you provides some protection for others in a face to face.”

            Iain rose to his feet. “I’ll keep that in mind, but I like Pratchett and I know who Granny is based off of. I don’t expect her to be an asshat, as you put it, but I do expect that her own interests will definitely come first in any dealings with me. However, she’s not stupid and I’ll consider contacting her. Be well, Kelvin.”

            “Is there anything you want me to tell your harem that’s here?”

            Iain shook his head. “I talk to them regularly and they already know how I feel about what happened. Thanks, though.” He stopped at the register. “You’ve got a nice place, Matilda. When I get here for real, I’ll come by for a meal or two.”

            She smiled, revealing uneven and discolored teeth. “I’ll look for you.”

            He stepped outside and paused to take a deep breath, only to be knocked off his feet and trampled by the horde of people who pushed out the door behind him. Eve grabbed his arm and jerked him to his feet. “Are you badly hurt?”

            He spat blood. “I bit through my tongue when someone stomped on my head but other than that, I’m fine. Are you and the others ok?”

            Eve touched his cheek and healing magic coursed through him. “We ended up in what looked like a pre-war movie theater. I and the rest of your harem were in the balcony while everybody else was on the ground floor. We watched you and Kelvin on the movie screen and whenever someone got loud, the movie stopped and a furry ball the size of an American football rolled onto the stage. It would announce that if people didn’t calm down it would call the ushers and remove the troublemakers. Then it would give birth to a litter of thimble sized offspring and all of them rolled off the stage. That happened nine times, Iain. Then the movie would restart where it left off. We got up and left when the credits started rolling, meeting you out here.”

            He nodded. “Angie, April, start moving people towards the portal. Let’s leave here before someone accidentally starts something and we get in trouble.”

            The Titmouse cocked her head. “You heard him. Evangelion did kill Janus.”

            Iain looked around for Isaik and relaxed slightly when he realized April had been busy and the Eidolon was out of the alley and headed for the portal. She was also out of earshot, but he kept his voice low regardless. “I heard him better than you did. His patron killed him.”

            Angie’s ears flattened. “That’s not what he said,” she began.

            Iain cut her off. “He said his patron couldn’t protect him from that thirty meter tall robot woman, not that Evangelion killed him. The only other person he mentioned was his patron, who doesn’t protect anyone but herself. She wouldn’t even try to protect him. I think she needed him to stop the Celestial Alliance and then got rid of him because, as he mentioned, we may be becoming gods and would be a threat to her. Now get moving and do not say anything about this around Isaik or Underground.”

            “Isaik is completely loyal,” Angie almost snarled.

            “Yes, she is. That’s the problem. She’s also his patron’s creation and was used by her to track him. She might decide that she’s the reason he’s dead and he suggested that Underground already has a suicidal streak. Unless you don’t think she might kill herself over this, you had better keep this quiet.”

            Angie stared at him and her ears drooped sideways. “She would not kill herself over this,” she said in a voice without conviction. “She couldn’t.”

            Eve rested her hand on the Titmouse’s shoulder. “Pokegirls do commit suicide and Janus was very special to her. We are not going to say anything about it to her, but everything else is your decision.”

            Angie gave Iain a hopeful look. “Kerrik, you’ll let Evangelion take the blame for his death?”

            Iain looked over at Vanessa, where she was acting as the rearguard for stragglers. Her eyes flicked in his direction and her head moved in a tiny nod. “I will. The truth could destroy a little girl. If a lie will help keep her alive, I will lie. I don’t think Evangelion would mind.”

            “Thank you, Kerrik.” Angie turned away.

            Eve pointed behind him. “You need to get rid of that.”

            He looked to see the door to the eatery was still there. “It’ll be fine. The spell has a limited duration and will expire in a couple of minutes. Anyone wandering into it will be ejected when it returns to the Lands of the Dead. Let’s go.”

            On the walk back, Eve gave him a sidelong look. “Is there anyone in Janus’ harem you’re interested in?” When he hesitated, she smiled. “Who is it? I’d be glad to speak to her.”

            “I’ll bet you would.”

            She blinked at his annoyed tone. “What, is it one of the celestials?”

            “No. We are not going to go there. I hesitated because I was thinking about it and finally decided the answer is no. I’ve already got two celestials in my harem. Hell, there are three if you count Vanessa. That’s plenty for someone like me, since I’m not really a good person.” He kicked at a rock as he came up to it and watched it go skittering up the road. “Does it ever bother you that one of my strengths is death magic?”

            “A little,” she admitted quietly. “It doesn’t matter though. I love you, Iain, and I am working to accept you as you are. There are things about me that you’re not all that fond of.”

            He chuckled. “I know there are, but right now I couldn’t name any of them.”

            “That’s sweet, Iain.” She blinked. “Crap. I mean, Kerrik.”

            “There’s nobody around but us. It’s ok, Eve.” He glanced at her. “Sometimes it bothers me too, but I am who I am and Eirian is right. I have to accept I am a necromancer among all of the other things I happen to be and I have to learn to master that part of my abilities just as much as I need to master the others.”

            Eve nodded. “What do we do next?”

            “We’ll finish up our visit on the Daisy Mae and head home. You talk to Lucy and we determine how to keep from being murdered by our foes. Then we plan to move.” He scratched his head. “Somewhere in there we also need to try to figure out what is going on with Vanessa and how long her condition might last and what happens afterwards.”

            Ninhursag was waiting for them just outside the gate itself and looked relieved when she saw them. “You’re the last out. April checked the harem and Cheryl verified everybody else who came through with us. Oh, and Dr. Carmen wants to talk to you, Kerrik, before we leave.”

            “Thanks, I think.” He looked around. “Eirian, you and the others rejoin me.”

            “Yes, my lord.” The silver Dragoness stepped out of the shadows, closely followed by the other four. Quickly they returned to being tattoos on his body.

            He motioned towards the portal. “Ladies first.”

            Eve laughed. “You think we’re going to leave you behind us for something to snatch? Get moving or I’ll carry you through there.”

            “Damn.” Iain headed through the portal and stopped when he saw April, Dominique, Vanessa and Zareen. “It’s ok, ladies, everything is fine.”

            April snorted as Eve and Ninhursag came through. “I’ve heard that before.”
            Dominique touched the arch. “I’ve deactivated the spell, but due to the time differential it’ll take about ten minutes to close completely. We’ll dog shut the compartment door, but only someone who knew where it was could find it.”

            Iain shook his head. “We’ll do that, but you go on ahead and grab a crewmember or somebody to stand guard for the next hour.”

            “I’ll do it.” It was Warden. “I’m not busy right now and I know I won’t slack off.”

            “Thank you.”

            Eve stopped him once they’d gone up a level. “Was she one of them?”

            “Drop it.”

            April gave them a curious look. “Drop what?”

            “Eve thinks I want to recruit from Kelvin’s harem. I said I didn’t.”

            “Oh. Then he doesn’t, Eve.”

            The Megami-sama sighed. “I know, but we’re still short a combatant and most of his harem seems adequate.”

            Iain shook his head. “If I’m not interested, it doesn’t matter. Did Miguelito perchance say where he was going to be?” When nobody answered, he sighed. “We’ll look in the wardroom and then we’ll start searching with his quarters. But first we go to the bridge where I can thank the Captain for being so considerate as to anchor here and let us conduct our little operation. She’d probably like to get back underway as soon as possible.”

 

***

 

            “That was very interesting, Kerrik.” Miguelito leaned back in leather chair especially designed for his diminutive frame. “I don’t suppose you can explain how both the restaurant and the movie theatre coexisted in the same space?”

            Iain looked around the office Dr. Carmen had set up in his quarters. Obviously he’d been here for a while since he’d obviously gone to the trouble of importing things from wherever he lived. “Not without invoking hyperdimension juxtapositional theory, which could be summed up with either ‘it works so don’t look too closely’, or ‘it’s magic’.”

            Dr. Carmen’s laugh had a tinge of suppressed hysteria in it. “I was afraid you’d say something like that. Please understand, my life has been a struggle to unravel the threads of the myriad mysteries that surround pokegirls and thus ourselves. I think you understand what was going on, but the idea that I might not even if you explain it is humbling. It’s also more than a bit frightening.”

            “Would it help if I told you that the theatre did not coexist in the same space as the restaurant? If I then continued on to explain that the theatre was in an atom thin layer just outside the restaurant and that you and the others were diverted into this layer as you walked through the door, and this layer is designed such that, once you adapted to the local physics, reality felt and behaved just as if you were back in what you perceive as the normal universe?”

            “To be honest, I’m not sure. Can such a structure be created in this universe?”

            Iain nodded. “It already has. The Order of Pendragon uses such a creation for the primary fortress and base, but it was created by the sidhe and not the humans who currently use it.”

            Miguelito leaned forward eagerly. “I don’t suppose I could see it?”

            “I’m afraid not. The Pendragons do not give tours.”

            Dr. Marilyn stirred. “That’s very convenient for you.”

            Iain’s eyes flicked neutral. “Considering that all of the interactions we’ve had with the Order seems to involve them trying to kill us, I don’t care what you think of what I’m saying. It’s the truth.”

            Miguelito blinked and waved his hands placatingly. “Please, Marilyn didn’t mean any insult, Kerrik.”

            The Alaka-Wham winced slightly at his tone and gave a reluctant nod. “I didn’t.”

            Iain eyed her for a second and decided to accept the lie. “I understand you wanted to talk to me about something?”

            “I wanted to see if you could aid me with a dream of mine. I’d be willing to hire you as a consultant if you have the information I need.”

            “This doesn’t involve anything like purifying tritium nor weaponizing anthrax, does it?”

            Carmen blinked. “Tritium?”

            “It’s a necessary component for the construction of fission boosted thermonuclear fusion weapons.”

            Carmen went white. “I would never involve myself in the manufacture of forbidden technology! Just knowing what you said is probably classified!”

            “Sorry about that.”

            Carmen took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. “Please don’t say anything like that around Eko or Kay.”

            “I won’t. So what did you want?”

            “Have you ever been to an amusement park?”

            Iain blinked. “Several, in fact.”

            “I mean besides Disney in California.”

            “That’s good, because I’ve never been to Disney Land. I have been to Disney World in Florida and a couple of parks in Texas.” He frowned. “I’ve been to Six Flags over Texas, Astroworld before it closed, several Renaissance festivals and a whole slew of zoos.” He blinked. “I should admit that I only went to the Magic Kingdom and Epcot in Florida.”

            Carmen suddenly beamed. “Do you remember much about your visits?”

            “I have an eidetic memory, Miguelito. I remember it all.”

            “I create amusement parks, Kerrik. It’s my passion and I’d like to hire you to recall everything you can about the parks you’ve been to. I promise I’ll make it worth your time.”

            Eve looked at Iain. “Should I send for Ninhursag?”

            Iain smiled at Carmen’s sudden confusion. “She’s the team negotiator and, no, Eve. Miguelito will pay us what he thinks our information is worth, which is only fair.” How would we price such a thing, anyways? None of us have ever done any consulting work like this before.

            Eve nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Dr. Carmen, if I implied any insult to you.”

            Miguelito chuckled. “You didn’t, Eve. You were trying to look out for Kerrik’s and your interests, as is only proper.” He smirked like a cat who’d found an unguarded bowl of cream. “The question then becomes what is the best way for you to tell me what you know?”

            “Dreamtime,” Eve said firmly. “Dr. Marilyn would die trying to probe Iain’s mind, but we created a spell a while ago that lets me project his thoughts in a holographic format. Dr. Marilyn will remember what is shown there for you and you should be there in case there is something that you want shown in detail and dreamtime allows us to complete in minutes what might take months.” She smiled broadly. “Kerrik has a mind bent towards the maintenance aspect of things and therefore he paid a lot of attention to what behind the scenes details he found.”

            Iain grimaced. “I admit that I’m weird. I like to see how they set up the water pumping system for a water ride more than taking the ride itself.”

            Miguelito suddenly looked as if Christmas had come early. “We’ll get started this very minute!”

 

***

 

            Eve had stayed behind to finish up the details of the payment with Miguelito and Iain walked alone down the companionway, only vaguely aware of where he was going as he blinked his eyes free of tears. As usual, the dreamtime had brought a roaring headache that only rest would cure. Still, he’d learned a lot using dreamtime in a very short period of time and was pretty sure that the inherent time compression in dreamtime was worth it.

            At least that’s what he kept telling himself.

            He was so intent on his headache that the impact caught him completely off guard and he was knocked off his feet. He would have hit the floor if someone hadn’t caught him by the arms and pulled his body against hers.

            “Are you all right?”

            Iain looked into purple eyes and stared as the color drained from his face. “You,” he breathed.

            It was the woman he’d seen eating chili in Jane’s Eatery.

            Concern and a faint fear filled her eyes as she tried to look puzzled. “Me? It’s a big ship and I don’t think we’ve ever met.”

            “I remember you,” he said around the agony in his head. “You were there.” His mouth dropped. “You were in the restaurant. Only the dead can be there.”

            She clapped a hand over his mouth. “Don’t try to call for help,” she cautioned as she picked him up bodily and headed for a hatch.

            She jumped down the hatch and landed easily. The compartment was one of the many abandoned places on a ship with a skeleton crew and the only reason it didn’t look like it had been abandoned for years was because it had been refurbished along with everything else during the magical refit.

            Iain grumbled something behind her hand and she blinked before uncovering his mouth. “What was that?”

            “I said I can’t yell or even talk since somebody is covering my mouth with her hand. What are you doing down here?”

            She glanced upwards. “I’m hiding and planning my next move. I can’t be found. If they find us, they’ll kill me again.”

            “How did you get out of the restaurant and into the land of the living?”

            “You brought me back to life. You’re a necromancer. That makes you the bridge between life and death. I followed you outside and your magic brought me with you. You didn’t see me in the group and apparently nobody in it knew everyone else, so they didn’t recognize I wasn’t a part of it. I then followed everyone else to this ship.”

            “That’s fucking incredible.” He blinked. “Why would the crew kill you? I know you’re a Fallen Angel, but they’re all celestials and you’d think they’d feel sorry for you.”

            She glanced upwards involuntarily. “I know what’s here. I can feel them. I was murdered by celestials the first time and I know those bitches would do it again. Look, as soon as I can figure out what I’m doing next, I’ll be gone and you’ll be unharmed.”

            “Why would celestials kill you?”

            “They decided I needed executed, all right,” she snapped at him. “And they were right. I did a terrible thing and paid a terrible price for it before they killed me, too. I think we’re even, but they won’t agree with me. After all, I did die.”

            “Tell me what happened and I’ll talk to them. This is a fairly reasonable bunch, for celestials.”

            She gave him a disbelieving look. “And why would they listen to you?”

            “Oh, how about I’ve got a Megami-sama in my harem and they also think if they piss me off I’ll skin them and turn them into rugs?”

            Purple eyes blinked in surprise. “How can they think that if you’ve got a Sammie in your harem?”

            Iain laughed. “Sammie? I’ll have to remember that one.”

            “They don’t like being called that.”

            He grinned. “Then I’ll use it the next time she and I have an argument I don’t need to win.”

            “She’ll kill me too.”

            “Eve hasn’t yet and she’s standing right outside that hatch and listening.”

            The Fallen Angel gasped and looked up. “I don’t sense her.”

            Eve’s voice drifted down. “Oh, I’m here and I’m not alone. You hurt him and I will kill you. His name is Kerrik and he has asked me to wait before chopping you into pieces.”

            The Fallen Angel stared at him. “How?”

            “Delta bond.”

            “Crap. I am going to die again.” Her arms tightened around him slightly.

            “I think I asked you to explain to me what happened. Apparently I brought you back to life and that makes me responsible for you.”

            She blinked and hope appeared in her eyes. “Promise me.”

            Iain didn’t hesitate. “I promise, if you’ll explain.”

            She looked up at the hatch again and then into his eyes before sighing loudly. “You’re my only chance. I have to trust you.” She straightened her shoulders. “I killed my tamer.”

            “I’m sure it was an accident.”

            She shook her head. “It wasn’t. He was a nice and sweet man and totally unsuited to having a Seraph and I killed him because I was proud and vain.”

            She waited for him to explode and was surprised at his words. “Is that when you became a Fallen Angel?” She could only nod. “Then you felt bad about killing him, didn’t you?” Her eyes widened and she hesitantly nodded. “How did it happen?”

            She blushed crimson and looked away. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

            “Then you’re probably right and they’re going to kill you and I’m not going to try to stop it.”

            “You promised.” In her voice was the pain of a lifetime full of broken promises.

            “There was a condition, remember? I said you had to explain. I have broken nothing.”

            She stared into his eyes and her shoulders slumped. Her voice was a whisper. “I don’t like restraints and he let me talk him out of using them. I knew I could hurt him and I didn’t care. I snapped his neck while he was on top of me. I knew I could hurt him and so it wasn’t an accident. I murdered him out of pride and vanity because cuffs chafe and I didn’t like that more than I cared about his safety.” She dropped her head onto his shoulder. “When I realized what had happened, I evolved on the spot. It was part of my punishment for killing him.”

            “Part of?”

            “I decided that I didn’t deserve to live. I went out and destroyed evil wherever I found it, knowing that eventually it would kill me in return and I could have peace. A Dark Queen that I fought had heard of me and knew my story. She mocked me and, in a final insult, blessed me before she teleported away. An infernal blessing!” Her eyes blazed with fury for a second before going dark again. “It made me infernal too. It was the final straw and the celestials hunted me down and executed me for my crimes.” She shuddered. “It went away when I died but when you brought me back, it returned too and now it can’t be removed.”

            “You’re sure of that? The Dark Queen could always get rid of it.”

            The Fallen Angel shook her head. “She died a long time ago. That means it can’t be dismissed.”

            “Let me confer with my maharani.” He raised his voice. “Eve?”

            The Megami-sama dropped down the hatch and relaxed when she saw he was unharmed even as the Fallen Angel tensed. “I would say that she was punished already for killing her tamer. As for the fact that she’s fiendish, the crew didn’t harm Hatta Mary and she’s a Fiendish Cherry. I don’t see where there should be any problems with this one, but Ninhursag is going to talk to the Captain about it now just to be sure.”

            “See?” Iain smiled at the Fallen Angel and she gave him a weak smile back.

            “You can put him down now,” Eve said firmly.

            “Oh, sorry.” The Fallen Angel carefully let Iain go. “Thank you.”

            “You’re very welcome. Let’s all go join Ninhursag with the Captain and get this settled.”

 

***

 

            The Captain looked at Iain approvingly and nodded. “I agree, Mr. Wolf. While I think what happed originally was a terrible accident, it doesn’t really matter. She was punished for her crimes and the fact that she’s alive again does not mean she needs to be punished again. She’s perfectly safe on the Daisy Mae and I’ll send out a memo to that effect.”

            Eko glared. “She is guilty of a crime! She kidnapped Kerrik!”

            The Fallen Angel flinched, but Iain just smiled slightly. “Do you have a witness?”

            “Of course I do! I have you!”

            He shook his head slightly. “Then you don’t have a witness and if you try to make me testify that’ll just make me angry.”

            Kay gave her sister a terrified glance and turned back to Kerrik. “If you won’t testify she can’t bring charges.”

            “That works for me.”

            The Fallen Angel leaned towards Ninhursag. “He wasn’t kidding. They really are scared of him.”

            “I know,” the Elfqueen said quietly. “It hurt him that they’d think so little of him, but he’s willing to use it as a hammer if necessary. It’s one of the things I really like about him.”

            The Captain folded her arms over her chest. “Then I think everything is settled. The Fallen Angel is not going to be harassed for her past by anyone,” her eyes flicked over Eko again, “and so she’ll be released into the custody of Kerrik Wolf.”

            He blinked. “Into my custody?”

            “According to your own testimony, Kerrik, you promised that this Fallen Angel would be your responsibility if she told you her story. She did and, although I suspect you intended that promise to be to intercede on her behalf for me, you didn’t limit your obligation in any way. That means she is your responsibility until she either releases you from that promise or until the day she dies. Considering how seriously you take your responsibilities, it only makes sense to release her into your custody. You will, of course, most likely want to take her into your harem and make her one of your pokegirls since that would be the easiest way to fulfill that promise.”

            Iain stared at her for a second before composing his features. “You are right, and the fact that my headache didn’t let me think things through properly is not a valid excuse.” He turned to the Fallen Angel. “You are part of my harem now, unless you want to release me from my promise.”

            Her eyes were huge. “Release you from that promise? Never!”

 

***

Iain Grey - Tradesman

Eve - Megami-sama (maharani)

Dominique - Blessed Archmage

April - Duelist

Ninhursag - Elfqueen

Zareen - Nightmare

Fiendish Fallen Angel

 

Dragonesses

Eirian - Silver

Skye - Blue

Emerald - Green

Aurum - Gold

Beryl - Red