Into the Fire
Thirty Four
Author’s note: This chapter presumes that you are familiar with Kelvin’s Choice’s story, Tamers and uses characters and situations from it with his permission. If you have not read it, you are very naughty and need to remedy the situation immediately. It is well worth the time.
“Dr. Carmen, I must admit you have performed miracles with the Daisy Mae. I know this ship is almost four hundred years old and she looks like she was launched last week. You are to be commended, sir.”
They stood in the bow of the Daisy Mae, along with Voltaire, Ninhursag and, strangely enough, Warden. Dominique had gone with Eve while April and Zareen were meeting with Janus’ harem members, Eko and Kay.
Miguelito Carmen knew it was base flattery and he still preened at the praise. After all, it was accurate and he had earned it. “Thank you, Mr. Wolf. You are too kind.”
Iain regarded him for a few seconds. “Call me Kerrik, Dr. Carmen.”
A broad smile suddenly wreathed Carmen’s face. “And I am Miguelito, Kerrik.” The smile dimmed. “Janus was indispensable in fixing the Daisy Mae’s problems, Kerrik. He was an absolute pleasure to work with.”
Iain looked out over the ocean and felt the ship vibrate beneath him as it powered through the waves. “I knew he helped, Miguelito. He had to be the source of the material that now composes the hull, since it doesn’t exist in this universe and certainly didn’t in 1946.”
“Do you know what it is? I did some tests and I have never seen its like, although in some ways it’s similar to Damascus steel.”
“It is similar to Damascus steel, although they never made it in plates large enough for a ship’s hull. Aligned crystal steel is used as armor on something called battlemechs, twelve meter tall walking robots powered by fusion, festooned with weapons and designed for war. The armor is tougher than normal steel and is also good against lasers and particle beam weapons. That should give it more resistance against pokegirl techniques.” Iain dug at the deck with a toe. “Unfortunately, the manufacturing process requires access to a microgravity environment and the leagues were never the equivalent to the Successor States.”
“You know so much, Kerrik.”
“I know different things from you, Miguelito. They’re not necessarily better or worse, just different.” He rested the tip of his staff between his feet. “Everybody knows things that others don’t. It sounds profound, but it’s really simple, like many things seem profound when you first look at them.”
“I am so glad you survived the Sanctuary Goths and then the Red Plague so we could meet, Kerrik.”
Iain blinked. “Red Plague?”
“It almost killed Janus when he came here,” Warden said quietly.
Iain looked out over the waves and his face filled with wonderment. “Son of a mother fucking bitch.”
Miguelito looked startled at the sudden profanity. “Kerrik?”
Iain blinked. “I’m sorry, Miguelito. You just told me that the powers of authors are far stronger than I’d dreamed. Janus was influencing the reality around him from the moment he arrived here.” He looked over the rolling waves again. “I think I’d like something to drink right now.” He smiled briefly. “And I’ll explain what I mean before you have Voltaire hold me upside down by the ankles and shake the answers out of me.”
Carmen laughed. “I’d never do that, Kerrik. I might think it, but I’d never order it.” He led them below decks and they ended up in the officer’s mess, Iain with a cup of hot tea while Miguelito had coffee. “Now, you were saying?”
Iain looked to make sure Warden and Ninhursag were comfortable before nodding. “Please understand that when you get two people together, you have at least three opinions vying for attention. It’s the same where Janus and I came from, and since writers tend to be both opinionated and not shy about sharing, there were a lot of ideas about the fundamentals of how this world came to be. The details differed, sometimes significantly, but the differences weren’t really important to us as writers.”
“At least you agreed on the basics, right?”
Iain shook his head. “No, actually we didn’t. Other than agreeing that Sukebe was the source of pokegirls and that there was a Bloody Flu and a Red Plague, some of us didn’t agree on much. Some say he had help, other say he did everything on his own, some say he was original while others say he stole pokegirls in toto from someplace else, the list of disagreements goes on forever.” He sipped at his tea. “For example, Janus had the theory that the Bloody Flu and the Red Plague were retroviral and genetically engineered whatever it touched, infusing it with pokegirl genes and making human males more fertile with pokegirls and less fertile with human females. He also had the idea that the viruses still existed, perhaps incubating in everyone. To me, that didn’t make sense because animal life was also hammered by the Bloody Flu and Red Plague but the species that weren’t wiped out by pokegirls afterwards recovered and thrive today. Under Janus’ idea they should be extinct since there are no pokebreeds for them. That and rabbits so far don’t show the ability to breathe flame. Also, if human women were made more like pokegirls, then in theory men should have been perfectly fertile with them. The children, however, would have been candidates for threshold and blood traits from the first generation. Then people would point out that according to the pokedex human women still had fertility issues and I’d point out that the people who put together the pokedex were not biologists and were the same people who made natural products such as coal and oil forbidden technology. As if yelling at the planet would make coal go away.” Ian shivered. “And if the Red Plague and Bloody Flu still existed and reengineered everyone who came here, we could never return home because we’d be carriers and we’d doom our homeworlds since they don’t have pokegirls for the men to breed with when the contagions swept through our worlds after we returned home.” His eyes met Carmen’s. “But Kelvin believed it, so it happened to him. He made it and it reshaped him because he believed it would.”
Carmen gulped coffee. “What do you believe, Kerrik?”
“I think Sukebe had help, and I think the help wasn’t meant to aid Sukebe as much as it was intended to help the people providing it.”
“So you also believe that Nyarlathotep was involved?” Warden smiled when Iain blinked. “He told us about it.”
“I’m not sure I’d heard that theory, but no, I don’t agree. Nyarlathotep is a powerful member of the Cthulu mythos but this isn’t his style. As for me, I have a slightly more pedestrian villain in mind.”
“This is fascinating. I would have enjoyed watching you and Janus debate.”
Iain chuckled. “I think that most of the time you’d have been disappointed, Miguelito. The people who actually wrote tended to agree to disagree on many topics. We wanted to write, not argue who was wrong. Arguments waste time that could be better spent writing, after all. Now if you wanted to watch arguments, you’d turn to the armchair experts who didn’t write. All they did were revisions of existing pokegirls or try to create new pokegirls, most of which were just retreads of things already in existence. They spent all their time formulating ever more absurd reasons why things did or didn’t work and were quick to jump to the defense of their pet theories while we writers just quietly wrote and laughed at them up our sleeves since their theories didn’t mean crap unless we breathed life into them.” He smirked. “Those who can, write. Those who can’t try to argue with us about what we’ve written. Amongst the writers themselves, our disagreements were calmer, but often they were true debates where things might get decided as opposed to the arguments the self appointed experts got into with us and each other. Janus knew I didn’t agree with everything he thought, and he didn’t agree with all of my theories. It didn’t matter. We agreed enough to write together and that’s all that was important.” He shrugged at Warden’s surprised look. “Yes, it sounds incredibly arrogant. It is arrogant, but I looked at it this way. If all the writers left, the genre would end. If all the self appointed experts left, I’d just get fewer reviews and a smaller pokedex. Considering that I don’t write for reviews, most of the readers didn’t ever leave reviews anyways and I didn’t like the bloated monstrosity the pokedex had become,” he trailed off with a smile, “you could see which side of the discussion I tended to come down on.”
Ninhursag nudged him. “Who was your villain?”
“You guys really want me to continue this?”
Carmen nodded. “Please do, Kerrik. To get an opinion of how the world was formed is incredible. And to see where you and Janus differ is,” he frowned. “I’m glad that you and he disagree on things. It shows you are human after all.”
“All right, Miguelito. Picture if you will, a group of people who have the moral compass of a six year old. These people know that each of them is the center of the universe and that everything else exists to provide to them. They have a lot of magical power and no compunctions about using it without the slightest restriction other than making sure that any fallout from what they do doesn’t fall on them. Like other living beings, they crave the admiration of the others like them who, although they can never truly be peers since each is convinced of his or her sublime superiority, are as close to equals as the members of such a group can be. Good and evil mean little to them, it’s all about the satisfaction of the self. Individually, they are driven to excel in their chosen field of mastery, but outside that field they’re pretty lazy.”
Miguelito looked appalled while Warden actually hissed at the thought. “They would be like the ancient gods of myth, cruelly indifferent to their worshippers or anyone else.”
“Exactly. In my writings such a group exists. They’re called the Covenant of Darkness and they are a group of truewizards who formed a club so they could be admired by their so called peers.” Iain took another drink and put his cup down. “In my theory, Sukebe created a few non-humans, the first prototype pokegirls, to be the friends his world wouldn’t let him have. When they were killed after being revealed by Linda McKenzie, he exiled himself from Earth and somewhere during this exile he ran across a member of the Dark Covenant. The idea of pokegirls would have excited the mostly male organization and a handful of them would have volunteered to help him work on perfecting the breeds. While doing so, one of them could have easily planted the idea of revenge in his mind. Behind his back, they worked on their true purpose, which was to create a world full of pokegirls that they could harvest for their own use. The feral state ensured that pokegirls, when they wiped out the humans, wouldn’t be able to build a society that could threaten their new masters to be. Parthenogenesis made sure their creations would still be what they wanted when the mages returned to collect them and would increase their numbers pretty much without fail. But they didn’t want to expend a lot of resources, so along with a few million pokegirls they created the Bloody Flu and gave it to Sukebe. When released, this magical virus caused POF, or premature ovarian failure, in ninety two percent of the human women who contracted it. While not the death knell for the human race, it guaranteed that the next and subsequent generations of humans would be much, much smaller. After all, the number of breeding females went from roughly two billion to a hundred and sixty million. The number of breeding females hadn’t been that low since 1000 AD and it guaranteed that pokegirls would not be slaughtered out of hand. Someone would want to have kids with them and would protect their new women.”
Iain drained his cup. “However, another faction came up with an even better solution and gave the Red Plague to the Chinese. Contrary to historical opinion, it worked exactly as it was supposed to, which, by the way, was not what the Chinese were told it would do. They were told it would act like the Bloody Flu but on pokegirls. Instead, the Red Plague removed the one threat to pokegirl existence. Humanity. It killed ninety two percent of all humans, and incidentally also removed ninety two percent of the fertile women, leaving a scant twelve million eight hundred thousand fertile human women, which took the human population back to 3000 BC. Undoubtedly, the Dark Covenant sends scouts periodically to check on their project and one of these days capture teams will arrive to collect their new fuck toys and soldiers, if they’re not already making irregular harvests.” Iain blinked and the color drained from his face. “Shit.”
“What is it, Kerrik?” Ninhursag turned his face and looked into his eyes. “Kerrik?”
“I did it,” he whispered. “Kelvin gave himself the Red Plague and I brought Mhodvitnar down on us. I killed them.”
Carmen leaned forward slightly. “Who did you kill, Kerrik?”
As he opened his mouth, Ninhursag pulled Iain around to face her and slapped him lightly. “Kerrik!” It would be very bad if you had two stories for one event if Sanctuary has an agent somewhere on this ship. Austin killed them, remember?
He stared at her in shock before shaking his head hard. “Sorry.” He turned back to Carmen. “I’m sorry for being cryptic, Miguelito. I think I have PTSD and sometimes I have these, well for want of a better term I call them flashbacks, and my mind wanders.” He smiled faintly. “And that’s not even the worst part of it.”
“Oh?”
“When I was brought here by the Sanctuary Goths, they tortured me. When they recaptured me, they tortured me more. It destroyed my ability to accurately sense the passage of time. I’ll go into a fugue state and have no idea how much time has elapsed when I wake up.”
Carmen frowned. “You were recaptured?”
“Sometimes my luck sucks. Fortunately, although it is a very relative fortunately, the persons who caught me the second time were more interested in revenge and dissection than in turning me over to the powers that be, giving me the time I needed to escape.” He held up one arm and turned it slowly. “The body healed up completely, of course. The soul takes a little longer, but I’m functional and the nightmares are finally manageable.”
Carmen gave him a sympathetic look. “Kerrik, we have a psychiatrist here who might be able to help you. She knows not to try and read your mind, so your secrets are safe.”
Iain regarded him expressionlessly for several seconds before shaking his head slightly. “I know you’re trying to help, but I’m functional. I also know that more often than not, psychiatric treatment makes things worse before it makes them better and right now I can’t afford to absorb the downtime.” Then he settled back in his chair and smiled mirthlessly. “So, Miguelito, what happened to Janus?”
Instantly tension ratcheted up in the in room. Carmen shoved his cup to his right. “Voltaire, please refresh my coffee and Kerrik’s tea.”
“Yes, master.” The Francinestein lurched to her feet and collected the cups before heading into the officer’s galley.
After they had new cups, Carmen sipped at his, watching Kerrik over the rim of his cup as he collected his thoughts. “To understand what was going on, you need to be briefed on the background information first. We discovered that there was a facility established by Sanctuary that was proceeding with more testing on the interdimensional portal process that had been used to retrieve the authors and Janus resolved to investigate it and destroy it if it couldn’t be used to return him home. This was out in the middle of the ocean and, since the Daisy Mae was independent and the crew had a tendency to help in situations like this, I spoke to the Captain and she agreed to assist. In return, we spearheaded the repairs required to return the Daisy Mae to full battle worthiness.”
“Why were you involved, Dr. Carmen?”
“Isn’t the pursuit of knowledge its own reward?”
“Not usually, it isn’t, Miguelito. However, I’ll accept the idea that it is for you. Please continue your narrative.”
“During the trip we were attacked by forces loyal to Sanctuary and also celestials involved with the Celestial Alliance.” He paused, but Kerrik merely looked politely curious. “Anyway, we discovered that the Celestial Alliance was the instigator and had tricked Sanctuary into performing the portal research.”
“That certainly kept the Alliance’s costs down. That and they probably don’t have the technical expertise to do the work themselves.”
“Exactly, Kerrik. Bringing across the authors was part of a series of field tests, and hid the true reasons the celestials had wanted the portal designed in the first place.” Miguelito paused again.
Finally Kerrik sighed. “Fine, I’ll ask the question. What was it?”
Miguelito grinned. “They wanted to go across universes to the first one and, there, change the events of the speech of the Chosen One. They hoped it would change the story itself and make the writers like you less interested in adding on to it, so they could work without being interfered with.”
Iain’s eyebrows shot up. “They wanted to change one of the potential Primes?”
“What is Prime?”
“As pokegirl stories get written, they either follow rules that were established and are considered canon to the genre or they don’t and are considered alternate universe. Canon stories all take place in the same universe, which we call Prime. Alternate universe, or AU, stories each take place in a discrete continuum separate from Prime so they can happen without affecting canon or each other unless the writers want them to. Most writers write in one or the other, but as a writer writes more stories, he or she tends to drift AU because they want to explore things not allowed in canon.”
Ninhursag frowned. “So they intended to change Prime? What would that do?”
“Nothing. It’s impossible to change Prime. It’s also dumber than snot to try. As for making people lose interest, I didn’t write the Harris Saga because of Wild Horses, I wrote it in spite of Wild Horses. Metroanime wrote a terrible story. The plot was weak and the grammar and spelling were awful. I got interested in pokegirls because of the pokedex, not Wild Horses, but then I came to the genre looking for ideas to steal for Tirsul and the Kalan Empire.”
“Why is it impossible?”
“Miguelito, the people inside a story do not change the universe outside of it. They’d have to have god powers of their own to do so. If they did, they’d be so powerful that they could just cut their universe off from the others. Changing the ending of Wild Horses to something miserable enough to run off readers would only work if everyone was forced to read the story as part of their entry to the pokegirl genre. The best the Alliance could have done was cause a secondary branching in the timestream and create yet another AU universe because of their meddling at a major decision point. It would have changed nothing in Prime or here and any Alliance members who remained here would be unaware anything had happened.” He shook his head. “The funny thing is that they apparently didn’t consider that if there are multiple pokegirl universes there are probably multiple universes with authors who write pokegirl stories and therefore multiple Primes, all discrete and yet influencing one another. Deleting one universe of either of those would accomplish nothing and changing one would just make it not a Prime.”
“You seem to be very knowledgeable about this sort of thing, Kerrik.”
“Miguelito, I am a writer. I travel through space and time every time I set word to paper or even just imagine how events will unfold. While I usually gloss over how to travel through time or space, I have considered the nature of both in detail sufficient to satisfy even my information obsessive personality.” He chuckled. “It’s part of my Visualization of the Cosmic All.” He smiled slightly. “But somehow I’m talking now instead of you. Please continue, Miguelito.”
“We attacked the facility where they were creating the portals and captured it, but it was too late and a strike team of Megami had already gone through. Janus led a team through to quietly eliminate them. According to the information we received, Janus and his team achieved their goal, but he was killed by a vengeful Evangelion before he could return. She vaporized his entire body to make sure he was dead.”
Iain’s mouth dropped. “Evangelion,” he asked incredulously.
“That’s right.”
“Why?”
Miguelito blinked. “What do you mean, why? She did it because Janus had defeated the Megami.”
“Maybe I need to clarify my question, Miguelito. There are two possible Evangelions we could be discussing, the one from 300AS in the dimension everybody went to and the one from here and now. The Celestial Alliance doesn’t like Evangelion. They don’t trust her to value the same things they do and, honestly, she doesn’t. So why would they contact the Evangelion of 300AS Prime and brief her in on the operation in the hopes that she’d help? Likewise, why would they try to involve the Evangelion from here and today in such an operation? The reasoning required for either Evangelion to murder Janus makes no sense.”
Warden cocked her head. “There was an eyewitness.”
“I’d like to talk to him or her.”
Miguelito shook his head sadly. “She left right after the battle was over and we haven’t seen her since.” Iain started to say something and stopped himself with an effort and the dwarf smiled slightly. “Yes, it is convenient, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is. I’m learning that convenience like that is just one of the universe’s ways of saying ‘fuck you’.”
There is another way to find the answers you seek.
Iain blinked and stared at the tattoo of Beryl. “What?”
You will have to use your gifts, but there is a way for you to discover what truly happened to Janus.
“Kerrik?” Miguelito was watching him cautiously.
“Sorry, someone else was talking to me. Beryl, come out.”
The Dragoness poured out of the tattoo and bowed to him. “My lord, you could ask Janus directly what happened to him. With your affinity for the dead, it would be simple enough for you to summon his shade and question it.”
Iain made a face. “You know I’ve been trying to avoid necromancy.”
“My lord, you can not ignore that aspect of your power any more than you can ignore the fact that you have lungs. You have an affinity for the dead and they will respond to you.” Her teeth bared in a razor edged smile. “And you know this, my lord.”
“What is this thing?” Warden was staring at the Dragoness.
The Dragoness didn’t bother to look at her. “I am Beryl, life.”
“Her name is Warden, Beryl.” Iain smiled slightly. “I wrote a story where there was a being named Eoghan who had some Dragonesses. Beryl was one of them.”
Miguelito frowned. “Eoghan the lich?”
It was Iain’s turn to blink. “You know of him?”
“Janus had a copy of all of the stories he knew about. He let us read them.”
“I’d like to have a copy of that.”
“I’ll get you one. Now, I don’t remember Eoghan having any pokegirls.”
Warden frowned. “There were two Dragonesses stationed outside the throne room in one tiny scene. I thought they were animated skeletons of some kind.”
Beryl looked at Iain. “My lord?”
“Go ahead, but just explain. I don’t think that showing is necessary.”
“I disagree, my lord. Showing is fastest.”
He sighed and pushed to his feet. “Fine.” With a smooth motion, he drew his knife and buried it to the guard in the center of Beryl’s chest. Warden made a choked off noise and Miguelito yelped. “Is that satisfactory?”
She fingered the hilt of the knife and gave him a fanged smile. “Very, my lord.” She chuckled. “You broke my heart, my lord. You have excellent aim.” Then she turned to face the table. “I am Beryl, I am a Dragoness and I am dead. He who murdered me did so long before Kerrik came to this world, but I serve Kerrik now.” There was a faint sucking noise as she pulled the knife free from her chest. She carefully licked the blade clean before flipping it over and offering it to him hilt first. “My lord.”
“Thank you, Beryl.” Iain put the knife away. “Beryl serves as my bodyguard and assistant.”
Warden frowned and leaned forward to peer at his arms. “She was the red tattoo. What about the green one?”
“That is Emerald. She guards our lord just as I do.” Beryl turned to Iain. “My lord, will you summon the shade of Janus?”
“It doesn’t sound like I can get the answers I need otherwise.”
“What will you do if it is true that Evangelion slew Janus?”
“I’ll be very surprised. At the time Ranma spoke, she was in the Blue League and I don’t think she’s ever been to Dogpatch.”
“What if it was the modern Evangelion who went back in time with the Megami?”
“That’s impossible.” Ninhursag covered her mouth with her hand. “Uh, sorry. Don’t mind me.”
Iain leaned down and kissed her cheek. “It’s ok. Miguelito, Ninhursag is right. I happen to know where Evangelion has been for the last couple of months and there’s no way she was involved in this.”
Dr. Carmen shoved his cup away. “We were told that Evangelion was the killer by a Megami who claimed to observe what had happened. Why would she lie?”
Beryl snorted. “Deception comes naturally to the celestials.”
Warden gave her an irritated look that Beryl either didn’t see or ignored. “Megami,” she said flatly.
The Dragoness’ head swung around to stare at the G-splice. “What did you say, Warden?”
“Megami are the ones that deception comes easily to. We are not all that way. I am a celestial and I do not lie to those in my care. Neither would Maus.”
“Anyone can say they do not lie.” Beryl turned back to Iain. “When, my lord?”
Warden flushed scarlet.
Iain sighed. “Beryl, please apologize to Warden. We have never found her in a lie and therefore her statement is, as far as we know, accurate. You had no call to insult her.”
“I am sorry, my lord.” The red Dragoness spun in place and bowed to Warden. “I apologize for insulting you, Warden. My lord is right and it was uncalled for.”
Iain rose and bowed to Warden as well. “Please accept my apology as well.” He rested a hand on the Dragoness’ shoulder. “Due to the circumstances of our relationship, Beryl doesn’t see anyone alive besides me as being of any importance and when she was alive, she had the habit of deliberately insulting those of lower station than her. Right now she sees all living beings except me as being of lower station. Since I allow her free will, her old habits are returning. Perhaps I should put a stop to it, but I can’t free her and out of guilt I think I indulge her a bit much. I’m sorry she insulted you.”
“Thank you, Kerrik. I accept both of your apologies.”
Beryl cocked her head to look at him. “When?”
“We’ll have to see if I can do this here or if I’ll have to wait until we return to shore.”
Carmen gave him an eager smile. “I would like to see this if I could.”
Iain nodded. “You need to know the truth too, no matter what it is. Some of Janus’ harem should also be there as well.”
“Some?” Warden gave him an amused smile. “We’ll all be there or there will be a fight about it.”
“Then I’d like it if you’d tell them what’s going on. In the meantime, I need to find someplace quiet so I can do some reading on necromantic summoning and truewizardry.”
***
He didn’t look up from his book when the warm weight settled against his side. “How did the negotiations with the Mae’s command go?”
“They’re going to think about it.” Eve glanced at the blank pages of his tome. “They’d always thought the Sisterhood was just some third rate social club for celestials. Finding out we’re a premier fighting force came as a bit of a shock. Finding out that Lucy can free them from the Navy’s logistic control was an even nastier shock.” She snuggled closer against him. “But I think the worst shock was when I suggested that they might want to play the Sisterhood against the Navy so they’re not stuck switching one mistress for another.”
“Lucy won’t like you giving them advice like that.”
“Then she should have brought her butt here and done this herself,” Eve retorted. “I’m going to make sure that Captain knows all of her options. It’s only right. And,” she said, drawing the word out, “if they have the tiniest clue they’d do it whether I suggested it or not. They don’t seem to be idiots.”
“True. Now that they know the Thornies aren’t some kind of checkers club, they’re probably kicking themselves for not contacting the Sisterhood when they went up against Sanctuary and the Limbec pirates. Apparently they could have used a nice combined arms infantry unit or three.”
“What did you hear about it?”
“I was told they kicked ass and took names well enough, but there were parts of it where I got the distinct impression they’d have been very happy to have more shooters.”
Eve chuckled softly. “I got that impression too. Is that where they lost Janus?”
“That’s the odd bit. They think he got zapped by Evangelion in Dogpatch on this variant Pokegirl Prime. They even had a Megami give an eyewitness report of the kill and for some reason she can no longer be found.”
“What do you think?”
He shrugged. “The timeline doesn’t match. When Ranma was pontificating in Dogpatch, Evangelion was busy in Blue.”
“Doing what?”
“Poppet is canon and right around that time she had achieved a series of breakthroughs in some of her genetic engineering projects. Naturally, Evangelion was interested and she had dropped by to see if it would allow the legendaries to have kids. She didn’t really want one for herself, but if legendaries could reproduce she’d have to reevaluate the threat they posed to the planet. Since Evangelion doesn’t ever want to announce her presence, she joined Poppet’s staff as a G-Poindexter and worked at the Conservatory for over a year. Not even Poppet or Ming Die knew she was anybody special, they just thought she was a free pokegirl who was good at forbidden genetic technology. They were actually sad when she left their employ.” He looked up from his book and glanced around them, even though he knew, with his perception, that they were alone. “Then it was suggested that our Evangelion had gone through to Dogpatch and killed him about a week and a half ago. I presume she would have snuck through with the assault team and Kelvin. It still doesn’t make sense. If Evangelion really wanted to protect the Megami, she’d have killed Kelvin at the first opportunity. I haven’t seen anyone here who could have even slowed her down.”
Eve counted backwards on her fingers and grinned. “I don’t suppose you explained to them that was when she won the monthly lottery and got four days straight with you? You couldn’t have pried her away from you or your bed with multiple hyperbeams.”
“I didn’t want to scare them with that little fact. To be honest, Miguelito has calmed down a lot, but some of the others still look ready to either bolt or expire on the spot if I say ‘boo’ at them. There’s a Bunnygirl who keeps begging me not to kill them all every time we meet.” He grimaced. “She’s rather loud and for the time being I’m keeping on the other side of the ship from that one. What really bothers me is the kids are terrified of me. That’s why I’m hiding here. Miguelito had them convinced I was coming here to skin everybody for being on the same dimensional plane when Janus died.” He shook his head. “It’s not like human skin is even that durable, although Jen might make a dandy pair of boots.”
“You don’t like her?”
“I never said that. I just said she’d make a dandy pair of boots with that durable skin of hers. A Bimbo would be even better. Boots made from a Bimbo could last for years.”
“You’re not regaling them with your gallows humor, are you?”
“No. I didn’t think it would be wise. Although I will admit I’m tempted to use some on Warden.”
“Why her?”
“She’s been doing the celestial hanging around thing.”
Eve gave him a puzzled look. “What are you talking about?”
“The whole act of where if she pretends to belong enough then we’ll accept her presence without comment. I get the distinct impression from stuff I’ve overheard that she mothered Kelvin and might like to continue that with me.”
The Megami-sama’s eyes hardened. “Oh, she does, does she? I can fix that.”
“Weren’t you just advising me to play nice?”
“That’s different. You’ve already got a celestial and there are rules about that sort of thing.”
“Her tamer got murdered last week and her harem is getting ready to dissolve,” Iain pointed out quietly. “That doesn’t get her any sort of sympathy?”
“Do you want her?”
“I hadn’t really considered it.”
“Then it cuts her no slack. If you change your mind about her, then I’ll give her some breathing room. Until then she’s outside the family bubble.”
“We have a family bubble now?”
Eve flashed a toothy grin. “Defining pokegirls as either us or them comes very naturally to harems. The fact that you do too makes us more likely to think that way, not less.”
Iain thought about it for a minute. “That’s actually good to hear.”
“What are you researching?”
“I’m trying do determine whether or not I’m going to have to go to this Prime’s Dogpatch to summon Janus’ shade.”
She blinked. “You can’t do it here?”
“He didn’t die here. He didn’t even die in this universe. Then there’s the other fact that his body wasn’t recovered. Spirits are a lot easier to summon if there’s a body to work with.” He reached out and took a lock of her hair in his fingers. “The book says I really should start with something simpler and take a couple of years to work my way up to this level of difficulty. I don’t have time to do that, but going to where Janus died will reduce the difficulty somewhat.”
“Is somewhat enough?” He shrugged. “Ok, Kerrik, what happens if you screw up while summoning him? Will monsters spring from the ground and start eating everyone?”
“Probably not.”
“You really know how to make a girl feel good.” She smacked him lightly when he snickered. “I mean it. You do know how to make me feel better about this. Try it.”
“Uh, I won’t let that happen?”
“That’s better. Are we spending the night here?”
Iain looked thoughtful. “Let’s see. There are oodles of unattached pokegirls here and three or four guys. Granted, most of them are Megami, so my chances of being raped are pretty low.”
She laughed. “You had to say oodles, didn’t you? That makes it sound much more harmless than the situation probably is.”
“Would you prefer vast shoals of pokegirls?”
“That’s better. It sounds like they’d come crashing into our room at night, swirl around the bed and then engulf us. With that kind of picture, no, we’re not staying.”
“Crap.”
She gave him a look. “What, you want to stay?”
He looked up from his book. “No, that’s not it. You started babbling so I went back to my research. I said crap because I’m going to have to go to Dogpatch to summon Janus. At least Sadie Pokens Day will be over, so the place should be back to being a tiny little jerkwater.”
“How are we going to get there?”
He grimaced. “I’m trying not to think about that question right now, but it really shouldn’t be that hard for us. The facility that everybody was using got destroyed and sank. That means we are down to relying on Micah’s untested dimensional gate. Dominique has looked it over and she thinks it will work perfectly without modification. In fact, in a rare compliment, she’d like to meet whoever was involved in the design.” He rubbed his eyes. “Normally, the fact that we don’t have coordinates to Prime would make any attempt doomed to failure, but I don’t see where we can’t use the same technique we used to teleport to Wellham to cross dimensions. I have written extensively in canon, so I’m familiar with Prime.”
“What could go wrong? Let’s start with worst case and work back from there.”
“It would be like crossing the streams of proton packs.”
“Is that bad?”
“The classical explanation was ‘try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light’. Would you classify that as bad?”
“I do believe I would. How likely is that to happen?”
“I think I can keep it from being an issue. More than likely, the worst possibility will be coming out in the wrong dimension or in a hazardous place.” He sighed when she gave him a questioning look. “Hazardous places would be like exiting over a pool of Jusenkyo or over the mouth of a volcano. I know how to check for that sort of thing. The bigger problem is how to check if we’re in the right universe.”
“Do you have any ideas about that?”
“The people who went through the first time picked up energy from Prime. If I can find any remainder and analyze it, that’ll be a good way to pinpoint if we’ve found the same Prime.”
“What are the chances of that?”
“Pretty good, actually. The differences will be slight, but not hard to find since I know what to look for and they didn’t go through to Prime that long ago.”
Eve stood and tugged him to his feet. “It fades over time, right?”
“How’d you know that?”
“I guessed, but it seemed as logical as anything else you’ve said. Let’s go find some people who went over and gather some data.”
***
“So, ideally, what I really need is a small group of people who went to Prime with Kelvin that I know went, a group who didn’t go and a group of people who went that I don’t know about mixed with some who didn’t go.”
Miguelito grinned. “That will give you a representative sample, a control and a group to use to verify you can identify any differences. That’s an excellent experiment, Kerrik.” He puffed out his chest. “I’ll take care of setting it all up. Come Voltaire!”
“Yes, master.” The Francinestein followed the dwarf as he almost ran from the compartment.
“I guess we wait here,” Eve said amusedly.
“No, we don’t. I need to talk to you, Dominique, April and maybe Ninhursag. Might as well get Zareen here, too.”
“April went back to the house. She’s helping Vanessa with the gardening.”
“She’s really settling into domestic life, isn’t she?”
Eve shrugged. “Family life and children have been her dream for a while, now, and you know it. We’d all like to settle down one day. Well, with the possible exception of Zareen, since she has no idea what domesticity really is.”
He sighed. “Ok, everyone interested in magic. Dominique will be casting the spell, with you as her backup. This whole not being able to cast formal magic spells sucks ass, you know that?”
“We will teach you as soon as we have time, Kerrik.”
He grimaced. “And I miss my name.”
She touched his cheek. “I do too. Everyone goes through with you, Kerrik. If we can’t return, you will have all of us with you so we can start a new life wherever we happen to be.”
“We’d better be able to return,” Iain growled. “I am not starting a new life with all of you and whoever from here decides they have to see Kelvin’s spirit.”
“You won’t.” Eve looked around. “You should be safe here. I’ll be right back.” She vanished before he could speak.
You are safe, my lord.
He chuckled. “Thank you, Beryl. Do I need to warn Eirian and the others about our trip?”
They are already on this ship, my lord, awaiting the call to battle.
“I feel better hearing that, Beryl.” He summoned his tome and opened it to review something before Eve returned.
A short time later he, Dominique, Eve and Ninhursag stood in the compartment. “April and Zareen are packing supplies at the house and will be along in about an hour,” Eve said to him. “They’re not really interested in the magic aspects of it right now. I think April could be convinced to study magic after we move.”
Ninhursag snorted. “Don’t confuse interest with acceptance. April is like me. She’ll be interested in combat spells, which this most definitely is not. Remember, not everyone wants to unlock the more esoteric uses of magic.”
Dominique tried and failed to suppress her irritation. “Whatever,” she snapped. “Kerrik, you had something to teach us?”
He nodded. “I may. Can you see auras?”
“No.”
“Close your eyes and feel what I do.” Her eyes slid shut and he reached out to gently press the pads of his fingers against her eyelids. “Do you see what I’m changing?”
“I do,” she said softly. “It will be easy to manage that with a variant of the night vision spell.”
“That’s good. When you’re done, please teach that spell to Eve. In the meantime, I’ll do to her what I just did to you.”
Dominique opened her eyes as Iain touched Eve’s. “Everyone is surrounded by a field of glowing light.” She blinked. “Yours is different, Kerrik. You look like a Christmas tree, covered in glowing beads. Eve’s is much simpler.”
“That’s because I am not native to this world. I’ll show differences to a much greater degree than even a person from this world who has visited another one for a time. If we were on my world, the situation would be reversed and my aura would look normal compared to the people there. Yours would be different. The people who went over to Prime will hopefully have very minute differences in their auras due to the time they spent there. These will fade with time, but I don’t think it’s been long enough to wipe out all the signs. We will use these differences in tuning the dimensional portal to take us to the correct Prime where Janus died.”
Eve was holding up her hands to look at the energy field covering them. “You realize that doesn’t sound logical.”
He shrugged. “Actually, if you look at it very simply, it’s like when you go to another world, you are wading through mud. You get mud on yourself, but over time the mud dries and flakes off or wears off until it’s finally gone.”
“What about your energy field?”
“Since I’m not from here, I’m effectively walking through the mud all the time. Slowly, the energy field from here should completely replace the one from my home.”
“Sir?” It was a Megami from the crew and looked so young that it seemed like she’d become a pokegirl about an hour ago. “Dr. Carmen sent me to tell you he’s ready for you now.”
Iain gave her a grateful smile. “Thank you. Could you be so kind as to guide us to wherever he is? I’m afraid he neglected to tell us where he’d be.”
The Megami swallowed hard and then nodded. “I’d be glad to, sir,” she lied. “This way, please.” She led them back to the wardroom.
“It’s a wonder they ever get a chance to eat in here,” Iain muttered as they followed the young Megami inside.
Miguelito met them at the door. “Ok, I’ve set everything up. You’ve got Warden, Maus, Isaik and Hatta Mary for the group who didn’t go over. In the known group who did go over, you’ve got me, Angie the Titmouse and Gwendoline. For the unknowns, you’ve got Eko, Kay, Cheryl, Voltaire, Sabrina, Blossom, Rainbow, Naomi and Jen.”
“Thank you, Miguelito.” Iain turned to his ladies. “Dominique, what do you see?”
She scowled at him. “You first.”
“I’ve already found it. You first, but discuss only the group that went over. For the others, we’re all going to list who we think did and who we think didn’t cross. After all, Miguelito might have snuck a ringer or two in.”
“Wait, you’ve already found it?” Dominique glared at him. “You’re a bastard.”
Gasps filled the room.
“We’ve already discussed that. My parents did eventually get married, so it depends on which set of rules you follow.” Iain winked and people started relaxing. “Ladies and gentlemen, I realize that due to some misunderstandings, you decided I’m some kind of horrific murderer before you ever met me, but I assure you that I only kill in self defense. I feel remorse and I feel guilt, too. I just don’t feel it for my enemies.”
“Why did she call you a bastard? She said nice things about you earlier.” It was Kay.
“Dominique, would you like to answer that?”
She chuckled as she stepped forward to examine the group which hadn’t gone over. “I’m a bit busy right now. Besides, I want to see how you’ll respond.”
“Dominique and I got off on the wrong foot when we met. I shot her partner and she arrested me.” He smiled at the sudden looks of shock. “Her partner was a disguised Sanctuary Goth who used her aura powers to order everyone to capture me. That kind of set the tone for our relationship. More importantly, Dominique is as an outstanding mage and very proud of that fact. Since sometimes I can easily do things she has to work to duplicate, it nettles her on occasion. Usually she snaps at me, I laugh at her and we move on.”
Rainbow gave him a curious look, the Tyrannodame’s expression easy to see as she towered over the people around her. “You said you only kill in self defense. What about Sanctuary?”
“I didn’t start my fight with Sanctuary,” he said simply. “And I’d be willing to let bygones be bygones if they’d leave me alone. However, just as recently as a few months ago, one of the ranking members of the High Council ordered someone to capture me and to kill me if they couldn’t take me safely. I cannot overlook the fact that they continue to try to kill my friends and lovers to get to me. They have to be stopped. I would like to point out that I consider my opponents to be the members of the High Council and their immediate toadies. Even if I could, I would not sterilize the Dark Continent down to the bedrock.”
“Who was the council member?”
“Councilor Kirabo. I have an eyewitness account of her orders.”
“What are your plans in regards to Sanctuary?”
He hesitated for a second. “I intend to destroy the High Council. I’m still looking for a good way to do that, but I hope that killing the people who keep giving the orders to kill me will make those orders stop. It’s not like most of Sanctuary’s people are taught a high degree of loyalty and the ones that are tend to be very low in the food chain.” He smirked slightly. “Like the various dame breeds, the most loyal soldiers to Sanctuary are regularly treated like carrion. Personally, I figure that it’s part of that automatic rejection of anything having to do with tamers and pokegirls, so because pokegirls are loyal to their tamers they despise loyalty. They may not even do it consciously, but it does seem to be another of their character flaws.”
“Why does Sanctuary want you?” Kay, again.
“Sanctuary believes that the authors have the power to change reality. They want to harness that power to reshape it into something they’d like better than what reality currently is and they’re more than willing to use force to get people to obey them. They justify the coercion by stating that we could have made this place a utopia and instead preferred to torture people. That and they’re all bloody imperialists who believe that might makes right. A lot of the leagues are that way, too.”
Naomi’s ears flicked and the Tigress scratched her chest idly. “Why didn’t you make life here a paradise?”
“True paradise is a philosophical impossibility. If everyone were happy, nobody would realize it.” He tried not to grin at her suddenly blank stare. “Without pain, how would you know about pleasure? Without sadness, how would you appreciate joy? Without contrasts, life would be bland and we might as well all be slime mold.”
Gwendoline frowned prettily. “Heaven is a paradise.”
“You’ll note that the framers of the Bible had to detail suffering on Earth to make it so. And that wasn’t apparently good enough because they also had to include a horrific Hell to showcase just how nice Heaven is. Fear of burning is one of the two greatest fears humans have. It’s instinctive.”
“What’s the other?”
“Drowning.”
Cheryl shivered suddenly.
Eve and Dominique came back to Iain. “Kerrik, we’ve got out lists made up. If you’re done talking, you need to make yours.”
He blinked. “Sorry.” Quickly he pulled out a scrap of paper and a pen. “Give me just a second.” He looked at the group and scribbled down some names. Then he paused and stepped forward, peering closely at Cheryl. He turned the scrap of paper over and slowly began writing. Finally he stopped and just looked at the paper.
Dominique poked him in the shoulder. “Kerrik.” He blinked and looked at her. “Are you done?”
He handed her the paper. “Yeah, I am. If you can adapt them to the coordinate system you use, I think you’ll find the specifics for the dimension we want to go to are here.”
Ninhursag snickered as Dominique looked the paper over and her face set. “Don’t know if you want to kiss him or hit him, do you?”
The Archmage shook her head. “I don’t know which I want to do first.”
***
The Captain tapped her map with a fingertip. “We should be close enough to the island to drop anchor in two hours.”
Iain glanced at the map. “I want to thank you for doing this, Captain. I know you’re in a hurry to get back to your homeport and I appreciate you delaying your arrival by another day so I can investigate the truth.”
She eyed him for a moment before speaking. “Mr. Wolf, I am not doing this for you. I’m doing this for Janus and for my crew. He was a hero to them.”
Iain chuckled softly. “I never said I thought you were doing it for me, Captain. I was just thanking you for an action that helps me. You want to know what really happened. Since I need to know, I can appreciate that.”
“Why do you need to know, Mr. Wolf?”
“Whatever killed Janus is likely to come for me someday. If I know who it was or what it is, I can be better prepared for that eventuality.”
“Why do we need to stop for this?”
Miguelito Carmen smiled. “Those of us who are going across to witness would like to return and Dominique was very vehement about how a stationary ship would make that a lot easier in case the portal shuts behind us and she has to reopen it.”
The Captain nodded. “I’d like to send a representative of the crew to act as the ship’s witness.”
Iain didn’t hesitate. “I’d like that too, Captain. Please send no more than two personnel of your choice. I’ll do my best to make sure they get a ringside seat for whatever happens.”
“Thank you, Mr. Wolf.” The Captain looked pointedly at the compartment’s hatch. “Now if you gentlemen will be so kind, I have a ship to run.”
Iain chuckled. “I should mention, Captain, that as the last living veteran of the United States Navy, I feel that you and your crew have upheld the traditions that led to the Daisy Mae in a way that no US crew could better. You have every reason to be proud of what you’ve accomplished.”
The Captain blinked. “You were American Navy?”
“I was. I was a submariner, but submarine or surface I recognize a taut ship when I see one. I know that Miguelito and Janus helped, but in the end it is the crew and commander of a ship that fights it, not the engineers and consultants.”
The Captain suddenly smiled with real warmth. “Thank you, Mr. Wolf.”
***
Kay glared at him. “I don’t suppose I could insist on seeing this?” Beside her, her sister Eko matched her glare at Iain.
He shook his head. “The Captain is the final authority on this ship and she agreed I could keep this spell private since it is private property. Nuevo Tenochtitlan University has way too many spies kicking around and if they want my spell, they’ll have to negotiate with me to get it.” He smiled. “I won’t put too large a hole in their budget, either.”
“I am not a spy for Nuevo Ten!”
Iain cocked his head. “Oh, really? Who are you a spy for?”
Eko burst out laughing and Kay rounded on her. “You shut up!”
The Officerjenny held up her hands. “I didn’t say a word, sister.” She smirked. “I didn’t have to.”
Eve was in the doorway to the compartment where Dominique was casting the dimensional portal spell. Ninhursag was inside with her in case of trouble. You’d sell this spell to the Sunnies?
Of course I would not. It’s Micah’s spell, not mine. They’d have to negotiate with him for it. He blinked when three more figures appeared down at the end of the companionway. Zareen and April are here. Surprise colored his next thoughts. They brought Vanessa.
Eve’s thought sounded a bit weary. I thought they might. I’ll be helping Dominique. She vanished into the compartment.
The copper haired legendary slipped through the group and came to a stop near Iain. Her eyes searched his. “I didn’t want to be left behind.”
“I wouldn’t either,” he said quietly and she relaxed.
“Who is this?” Eko gave Vanessa a curious look as Zareen took Eve’s place blocking the hatch. “I don’t remember seeing her before.”
April chuckled and leaned against the wall as Vanessa stuck out her hand. “I’m Vanessa. I’m one of Kerrik’s women, too, it’s just I’ve been busy at the house.” She was wearing jeans and a loose blouse. Her long copper hair had been braided and put up in a tight bun. Half glasses perched on her nose, making her look older than before and incidentally changing the shape of her face. “I’m a G-Poindexter and combat is not my forte, so I stay home doing research when Kerrik is on missions where we don’t expect a lot of fighting. But since we’re going someplace new, I’m coming along too.”
Iain nodded to Eko. “Vanessa, this is Eriko, also known as Eko. The Nursejoy is her sister, Erika or Kay.”
“Kerrik, have you given thought to what might happen when you cross over?” Vanessa gave him a nervous smile. “I know you’re sure that Evangelion from this universe didn’t kill Janus, but if you are wrong and the one from that dimension did, is she likely to appreciate you going there to raise Janus’ spirit? What if she’s waiting there for you? She could kill everyone there.”
Kay gave her a startled look.
“I thought about that, Vanessa. I still need to know what happened to Janus.” He shrugged. “I don’t believe any Evangelion was involved. Why? Because caring about something that’s not world shattering is out of character for her.”
Vanessa’s mouth firmed. “Sometimes I’m sure she has her reasons for caring about the regular people. Maybe she just happened to like one of the Megami or something.”
Eko shook her head. “They were only there for a few hours before we went though after them. That’s always bothered me. How did they have time to make friends with Evangelion? How did they even have time to contact her?”
“I don’t think they did.” Iain shrugged when everyone looked at him. “I think whatever killed Janus was either already in position in Dogpatch or went over with your team. Someone might not have been who everyone thought they were. Janus would have been on guard against pretty much anything except a traitor. If it were the Evangelion from this world, well, all the legendaries are good at disguise when they bother with it. It’s just that most don’t.”
Vanessa folded her arms. “The Evangelion from this world did not kill Janus.”
Kay smirked at her. “And just how do you know that?”
The redhead gave her an amused smile. “Kerrik knows where she was during that time. She was not plotting the death of someone she didn’t even know existed. She was busy.”
The brunette Nursejoy snorted. “Oh, right. He already said that. And just how does he know Evangelion?”
Vanessa shot Iain a worried look that faded when she saw his wry smile. He gave a slight nod and she flashed a bright smile back at him before turning back to Kay. “He’s Kerrik Wolf. Don’t you think he has any woman he wants?”
April choked as she fought not to laugh at the sight of Kay’s eyes bugging. Eko stared at Iain. “Are you saying that he,” she broke off and shook her head, “and,” another shake of the head, “not even he,” her voice died. “No, that’s just impossible.”
April snickered from the wall. “Why not? Even legendaries need a good hard fuck once in a while. We all do.”
Suddenly the fabric of reality rippled around them and the air felt oppressively heavy with magic.
Zareen staggered out of the way as Dominique shot out of the compartment and jumped at Iain, wrapping her legs around his waist as he dropped his staff and caught her in midair. “I DID IT!” She grabbed his head and kissed him savagely as she ground her groin against his. She broke the kiss and grinned wickedly at him. “Do you have any idea what finishing a new spell does to me? Later I am going to,” she leaned forward and whispered into Iain’s ear.
His eyes went wide and he turned bright red. “I’m not sure I am really that flexible,” he murmured.
She laughed. “I’m sure we’ll work something out.” Her crimson hair swirled as she glanced over her shoulder at Eko and Kay. “But I don’t want to kill the kids with shock seeing something that advanced. Anyone less than a century old needs her heart checked first.” She turned back to Iain. “I already know your heart is fine and later I’ll prove it. I promise.” She kissed him again and dropped to the ground. “Eko, Kay, fetch whoever is going. The gate is stable and Janus awaits.”
***
Iain Grey - Tradesman
Eve - Megami-sama (maharani)
Dominique - Blessed Archmage
April - Duelist
Ninhursag - Elfqueen
Zareen - Nightmare
Dragonesses
Eirian - Silver
Skye - Blue
Emerald - Green
Aurum - Gold
Beryl - Red