Into the Fire
Thirty Seven
Author’s note: This chapter presumes that you are familiar with Kelvin’s Choice’s story, Tamers and uses characters and situations from it with his permission. If you have not read it, you are very naughty and need to remedy the situation immediately. It is well worth the time.
“You’ve got mail,” April announced happily. “At least Austin Drummond does.”
Iain blinked at the pokedex she held. “Only Kirabo’s people have that address, unless it’s more spam.”
April pulled up the message. “No, it’s from Rudy Wells and he says he’s Austin’s friend.”
“Rudy Wells? That name sounds familiar. Let me see that.” Iain took the pokedex and settled back against Zareen’s side. She was in her centaur form and lying behind him, which gave him a warm, soft and furry horse torso to rest against. He read the message and frowned before reading it again. “This is from Kelvin’s Choice.”
Austin Drummond,
Hey old friend, Rudy Wells here. I bet you're wondering why I'm writing after all this time, especially after what happened at the restaurant. Well Austin, that is the six hundred million credit question. Simply put, a white rabbit chased down the hole you left, and I'm back with the old firm. Although I haven't given up on the startup that you, me and Colesmith-Briggs 3 were running. I also heard you were in the market for info about one Kerrik Wolf. He was spotted aboard the cruiser Des Moines that had been the base-ship of one Kelvin's Choice, during some doings down south.
Officially, Kerrik was hired to go there by Miguelito Carmen, to report on the construction and layout of theme parks. Tell me, do you know anything about theme parks? This guy pays good money for that info.
That's on top. Here's what makes you owe me a bowl of chili: Seems some high muckity-muck going by Lindi Valiant from someplace I never heard of was trying to undo herself getting the chop, succeeded and got rechopped by some other muckity-muck Sorceress of the South from the same unmentionable place. Many fireworks later, Kelvin and the two muckity-mucks are dead, supposedly. Along with a whole passel of the leadership of the 'Flowers and Puppies, or Else' crowd.
Enter one Kerrik Wolf, and surprise surprise, reports of Kelvin's death: greatly exaggerated. Bastard probably 'died' to send up a flare. If you're messing with these gents, don't. Seems the 'Flowers and Puppies, or Else' crowd sent a smile-enforcer down, and Kelvin splattered most of her on the walls. Him, personally. And Kelvin's people are worried about Wolf. Definitely not 'handle with care', more like 'do not handle at all’. Reports that both were aimed at the mucks and their whole kingdom by the 'Flowers and Puppies, or Else' crowd have been confirmed. This is Code Snow-White stuff and should be worth a lot of coin to somebody.
Consider it payment for a courier job. I've got some heavy machine tools that Colesmith-Briggs 3 was pining for, and frankly, they're more use to him than to me. I need to swap out the machine tools for one of those trucks he sold you. Never saw a truck that could carry stuff where that one can. But I've got a client who needs some heavy-duty barrels delivered where my stuff can't get to easily.
Anyhoo, things are coming along nicely. Currently under a doctor's care, so unless you've got a license and a bunch of letters after your name, the mail's the way to go. Don't go rollerskating in a Minotaura herd, it ain't worth the fun later. Oh for the record, hindsight says I was right and you were wrong, neener-neener. Running the start up helped, maybe I can arrange for some time with you as CEO. I'll explain it when I can get out of the body and fender shop.
Rudy Wells
P.S. Hoss, the medic never showed up for work. That could be good, or bad. Sherry's worried, and Matilda never saw her come in. Both are talking to people. I put Jane on it, there's always Jacob's Ladder. Somebody knows something, and I will find out.
Hey old friend, Rudy Wells here. I bet you're wondering why I'm writing after all this time, especially after what happened at the restaurant. Well Austin, that is the six hundred million credit question. Simply put, a white rabbit chased down the hole you left, and I'm back with the old firm. Although I haven't given up on the startup that you, me and Colesmith-Briggs 3 were running. I also heard you were in the market for info about one Kerrik Wolf. He was spotted aboard the cruiser Des Moines that had been the base-ship of one Kelvin's Choice, during some doings down south.
Officially, Kerrik was hired to go there by Miguelito Carmen, to report on the construction and layout of theme parks. Tell me, do you know anything about theme parks? This guy pays good money for that info.
That's on top. Here's what makes you owe me a bowl of chili: Seems some high muckity-muck going by Lindi Valiant from someplace I never heard of was trying to undo herself getting the chop, succeeded and got rechopped by some other muckity-muck Sorceress of the South from the same unmentionable place. Many fireworks later, Kelvin and the two muckity-mucks are dead, supposedly. Along with a whole passel of the leadership of the 'Flowers and Puppies, or Else' crowd.
Enter one Kerrik Wolf, and surprise surprise, reports of Kelvin's death: greatly exaggerated. Bastard probably 'died' to send up a flare. If you're messing with these gents, don't. Seems the 'Flowers and Puppies, or Else' crowd sent a smile-enforcer down, and Kelvin splattered most of her on the walls. Him, personally. And Kelvin's people are worried about Wolf. Definitely not 'handle with care', more like 'do not handle at all’. Reports that both were aimed at the mucks and their whole kingdom by the 'Flowers and Puppies, or Else' crowd have been confirmed. This is Code Snow-White stuff and should be worth a lot of coin to somebody.
Consider it payment for a courier job. I've got some heavy machine tools that Colesmith-Briggs 3 was pining for, and frankly, they're more use to him than to me. I need to swap out the machine tools for one of those trucks he sold you. Never saw a truck that could carry stuff where that one can. But I've got a client who needs some heavy-duty barrels delivered where my stuff can't get to easily.
Anyhoo, things are coming along nicely. Currently under a doctor's care, so unless you've got a license and a bunch of letters after your name, the mail's the way to go. Don't go rollerskating in a Minotaura herd, it ain't worth the fun later. Oh for the record, hindsight says I was right and you were wrong, neener-neener. Running the start up helped, maybe I can arrange for some time with you as CEO. I'll explain it when I can get out of the body and fender shop.
Rudy Wells
P.S. Hoss, the medic never showed up for work. That could be good, or bad. Sherry's worried, and Matilda never saw her come in. Both are talking to people. I put Jane on it, there's always Jacob's Ladder. Somebody knows something, and I will find out.
April read over his shoulder. “Ok, care to explain what the message means?”
“Kelvin’s letting me know he’s back. He’s also possibly informing Sanctuary that Austin’s mail is being monitored and they’ll figure out what’s going on. He’s claiming that reports of his death were greatly exaggerated and is blaming at least part of the events on Kerrik and giving me an out in tracking Kerrik Wolf.” He frowned. “He’s bringing me up to speed on what was going on before he was killed. He’s also letting me know he has something for Micah and wants the dimensional portal spell in return for it.”
“Micah said you could pass that along for free.”
“I know, but if it’ll get Micah something he can use, I’ll let them talk first. Since he has this address, I’ll presume he can contact Micah too. Still, I’ll ask Vanessa to carry a message to Micah with Kelvin’s information in it so Micah is up to speed with the rest of us. Let’s see, Kelvin is recuperating, doesn’t want us to visit unless we need to and he wants me to get some practice running the trinity of gods he’s setting up.” Iain grinned. “I guess I could do that, since Kelvin is now He Who Is Risen.”
“What about the postscript?”
Iain read it again. “I’m not sure. Kelvin is being a bit too cryptic this time. Jacob’s Ladder is either a plant or biblical ladder to heaven. I think it’s the ladder to heaven and he might be saying that he thinks Irena and the others may have moved on and didn’t return with him.”
“Who is Rudy Wells?”
“Rudy Wells is fictional and was the doctor for Steven Austin, a character in a television series and a couple of movies. The six million credit bit is a reference to the name of the show as a double check. The series was called The Six Million Dollar Man. Code Snow White is another reference from the show and means the information should be highly classified.”
“You already knew he was alive again.”
“Yes, but other than a cryptic comment to Miguelito that could have been easily overlooked, there’s really no way for him to know that, is there? We ran away before he could be presented to us.”
“Do you regret that now?”
“No, I don’t. Like he said in the message, he needs time to rest and heal. I’m sure coming back from the dead is probably tiring. Besides, he was popular on the ship and right now he’s probably ringed in pokegirls six deep. He and I will meet someday, when the time is right.”
***
“What’s the emergency?” They’d put a small table outside and Lucifer dropped a large duffle bag on the ground before picking a chair across from Eve. “I came as soon as I got your request.”
“I have a message for you from the captain of the Daisy Mae.”
Lucy sighed and reached for the decanter of great grape juice that sat between them. She filled a pretty glass goblet and picked it up with a tired smile. “If you called me here for that, it’s probably not good news.”
“I don’t know what the message is. It was delivered as a bundle of hardcopy by a messenger and had your name on it.” Eve glanced towards the Omega tree in the distance. “That’s why Iain is busy trying to kill Pandora.”
“I don’t understand.”
“He’s more than a bit pissed that after all of our efforts to disappear, a Megami just sauntered in here with messages for you and him. He’s glad it was an erstwhile ally and not an enemy, but he’s still angry about it. He’s working that off with Pandora right now. He’s improved a lot in the last few days.” The blue haired Megami-sama sighed. “Apparently I was wrong and he doesn’t have some strange learning disability in regards to hand to hand combat. It turns out that it’s just I’m a bad teacher.”
“I see authors can do miracles, too.”
Eve blinked. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“My darling Eve, blooded sister of mine, I have known you were a terrible instructor since that first year we fought together.” Gentle brown eyes met her blue specked ones. “All of these years you’re the one who has never accepted it. And before you get hurt, we did try to explain it to you.”
“Am I that stupid?”
“Never, Eve. You just suffer from an affliction that many celestials have, pride. Since I have many others who can teach it wasn’t a problem for us and I just used your skills in more productive ways.” She patted Eve’s hand. “Now, where is the message to me?”
Eve passed over a bundle of paper. “It’s pretty substantial, whatever it is. That they sent such a long letter is not promising. Saying yes doesn’t usually take very long.”
“Sometimes it does, Eve.” Lucy checked for magical traps and, when she found none, broke the seal on the papers. “Why don’t you find Iain and Pandora while I read this?” She glanced up. “And I wouldn’t say no to a spot of food, either.”
“I’ll get you something from the kitchen. Iain already knows you’re here and he says to let him know when you’re ready to talk.” She got up and headed inside.
Lucifer examined the papers and quickly realized there were two items in the bundle. The first was short typewritten letter, just two pages, while the other was a much more substantial printed document titled “The Des Moines Experiment - A Study in Learning” and looked to be quite lengthy. She dropped the document on the table and started with the letter.
To: Lucifer, Commander, Sisterhood of the Thorn
From: Officer Commanding Privateer Des Moines
Initial discussions between your representative and the officers of this ship have been concluded. After time and reflection, we must decline the specific details of your most generous offer.
The reasons for the refusal are many, but fall into two basic categories. First, they do not serve the important goals of the Des Moines Experiment (see attachment 1). Second, currently, all major Megami-majority organizations are secret/secretive, which creates a state of apprehension in too many people.
The Des Moines experiment was specifically to take the 'either good or bad at something' Megami, isolate them from any support base, and train them to learn, as humans and other Pokes learn. To cease relying exclusively on the power of the Cosmic Awareness. Since the condition of 'not learning' does not appear to have a genetic component, only the rather harsh and isolated regimen of ~man against the sea~ seems to have the desired effect in all cases where the Megami or Megami-Sama desires to be changed and belong. Your desire to have a 'Celestial crew' which implies other breeds as well, would dilute and even destroy the training ground that is the Des Moines experiment (see the effect of other ~helpful~ Celestials in the mix, attachment 1, pages 17 to 36).
Of the second item: on contacting my sources in various governments about you and your organization, I was deluged with the mis- and possibly dis- information about you, your group, as well as your motives, goals, desires, etc. The saddest part is that even those who knew about you had no faith that you weren't the really 'wetwork' portion of the Celestial Alliance disguising yourself as another group. More of them who had even heard of you, had conflated your organization with the Alliance. The public needs something above-board and obvious to point to when they think of Megami/Megami-Sama acting in a group.
While we have no truck with the Alliance, they had never made my animus personal. Until recently. The attack on the person of a VIP traveling with us galvanized me to action. The report that they had kidnapped the VIP and his allies further set me against them. The final straw was that one of their representatives contacted me during the time between your representative making contact, and her arrival. I will hold in confidence what was offered, as I will not reveal the details of your offers to anyone outside my senior officers, but I was revolted and frightened by what I learned.
I offer a counter-offer. One I hope you will accept, or can form the basis for more successful negotiations. We have been receiving pressure from various Leagues, and with support of Nuevo Ten, the Sages, and our VIPs, I have a solution. We will be producing several cruisers identical in all ways to the Des Moines. More alike than even her sister ships. To do this, Johto, Sunshine, Silver River and the Blue League have offered to release to us the complete Megami/Megami-Sama population of their Leagues' abandoned long-term storage. I suspect they are also releasing some of their political prisoners as well, but that doesn't matter to me. All told, some twenty-three hundred and eighty-five will be available for the effort to duplicate these cruisers. I would strongly advise that you send agents of your own to observe the process. And to make contact with any likely recruits. We also want some experts to bless the process to reduce potential errors and losses to life and limb.
Once the Leagues' demands for six ships have been met, and the process has been error-tested and corrected, we will proceed to a site, and prepare an eighth Daisy Mae for the Sisterhood's use. I would request that you provide us the crew of Megami and Megami-Sama _only_, for a period of six months. That has been shown to be the effective lower limit for the Des Moines effect to take hold and backsliding to minimize. Once the crew and cadre have been properly trained, the ship will be yours, and you will have seen the effect of our methods.
The Daisy Mae and her sisters (assuming that the Leagues beyond Sunshine allow it) will be a public face for the population who fearfully whisper in quiet corners about 'the Alliance'. They will have an independent and friendly group to point to and say that not all of us are like the Alliance.
There is one item that I will have delivered to you. The mere existence of it is troubling enough without having it aboard my ship. You might have people able to analyze or utilize it without cringing. The Megami-Sama, The March Hare, who hates your group and you personally for some reason, devised a way of cutting off Megami and Megami-Sama from the Cosmic Awareness. Whether the effect is psychosomatic, the result of trauma, or is an actual effect, I will leave to your scientists. She thinks of herself as a Jokette, and even a _real_ Jokette is cowed by her cruelty and inventiveness. She completely dismantled all the Alliance leadership who were in our custody. Enclosed are the organs she removed from all of them. It was in a different place and often in a different form in each Pokegirl, and every single one of them lost the ability to touch the Cosmic Awareness, after they were reassembled. I have included The March Hare's disturbingly clinical notes on the process. Maybe this will help, I would like to get them and all they imply off my ship.
Eve, if you are ~eavesdropping~, please cease at this point. The data here that pertains to you and yours will be contained in a letter I have prevailed on Mr. Choice to pen.
Lucifer, and her designees,
The other item I have to relate: A source of additional recruits for both of us has appeared. If our local VIP can prevail upon another to provide the magical knowledge, I intend to attack it. The Sunshine League vessel and crew, at a minimum, will accompany us. Our intent is to split the experienced and green crew, and prior to the assault, train them to serviceable levels. The Celestial Alliance has suffered some setbacks, but before this, they established a camp in an ~elsewhere~ to contain many of the Megami, Megami-Sama, Seraphs, Angels, et. al. who would have sensed/sought out and sided with the authors. The name of this concentration camp was chosen recently and deliberately: Caomh Sith.
To say that our VIP's rage was considerable would be stretching the term 'understatement' to the bursting point. Having met two of these VIPs, I was also incensed by the callous insult. There is no need to burden him with this information, although I request that you follow my example and leave informing him to our local authority. Never-the-less, I intend to assault it with force majeure. Both to damage the Alliance, and to rescue the captives. Gunfire support I have in abundance. Depending on the level of help our VIP can arrange, we will have sufficient marines, or an embarrassment of riches. But, the more the merrier.
On a more personal note. Be _very_ careful in your dealings with these VIPs. While the younger ones 'drool out of both ends', older ones, especially Megami-Sama, can develop an irrational desire to wrap them in fluffy blankets and feed them warm soup until they feel better about the world. A Hunter Ophanim from Sanctuary, of all places, explained it best. Most Tamers (most people) are pretty thin soup, while the VIPs are pure aviation gasoline. Having dealt with two, I can assure you, that the ~certainty~ they seem to exude from their very pores has a very powerful, even spellbinding effect on those around them. They might half-decide and debate, worry about things, but when they move, it is with the force, resolve and deportment of a tsunami or an avalanche. It also induces an extreme territorialism in all Pokegirls around them. Those within the accepted group will mesh in ways that should not be possible with so gentle a Master. I.e. our - even I have fallen victim, thinking of them as mine, or yours. The local one broke conditioning of a fully-indoctrinated member of the Alliance, by simply bending her over a table and _not_ touching her, and converted a HyperDoll into a trusted bodyguard by finding her emotional weak point and shattering her hardened heart. ~Your~ VIP has anomalies in his Harem, now and in the past, that would require a normal Tamer to resort to beatings or forced Ferality as punishments, to maintain the peaceful demeanor his Harem evidences.
Those outside the circle will be viewed by pity, disdain, or outright hostility. I strongly suspect that even a Legendary would be so affected. And would react with characteristic violence if that bond were threatened, or the formation of the bond conflicted with their own self-image.
In short, tread carefully in your dealings. They seem to all be gentlemen, in the old meaning: someone so skilled at arms they could be secure in being polite to everyone. 'I tolerate you because I could kill you in an instant. You live because I choose to allow it.'
I look forward to your reply and hope the advice at least is useful.
Lucifer reread the letter two times and put it aside to pick up the document. An hour later she looked across the table at Iain as Eve joined them. “Just a moment.” She rose and came around the table to take a startled Pandora’s hand. “I want to greet you, Pandora. I am Lucifer and I want you to know that my people and I will take no umbrage at either the fact that you are a Fallen Angel or that you are Fiendish. We do not condemn or bless groups, only individuals. The truth is that due to the nature of our work there have always been Fallen Angels in the Sisterhood and there are also a small number of infernal pokegirls among our ranks. They are full members in the Sisterhood just like everyone else.”
Pandora blinked and then gripped the hand before releasing it. “Thank you.”
Lucy returned to her seat “Iain, the message I was given said that you would receive a letter too. Have you and, if so, have you read it yet?”
He looked surprised for an instant. “I have and I have.”
She nodded. “Then you know about this Alliance internment camp called Caomh Sith.”
Iain grimaced. “Yeah, I do. The grave is peaceful, too, or so I have been told. At least their sense of the absurd is working at a hundred percent operation.”
“Good. I’ll return to that in a moment.” She picked up the letter and held it out to Eve. “I’d like each of you to read this all of the way through so we can discuss this.” She gave Pandora an apologetic look. “And I’d prefer that we be alone for this, if at all possible. I don’t have anything against you, but this does fall under my operational security and the fewer people who know what’s in that letter, the better it will be for me. Besides, I know you’ll be briefed on it as soon as Eve and Iain get the chance.”
The Fallen Angel looked at Iain, who nodded. “She’s right. I’ll tell you and the others after she leaves.”
“Then why should I leave now?”
“I’d like the chance to discuss this with them first and get their impressions, since they had contact with the Daisy Mae’s captain.”
Iain reached out and took Pandora’s hand. “It’ll be ok. Go find Ninhursag and Zareen. They’ll know if there’s trouble and the three of you can immediately rush to our aid.”
“I don’t like it, but I trust you, Iain. I’ll be inside with April.”
Pandora was headed for the front door when Lucifer swore and grabbed the duffel. “Pandora, wait, this is yours. Eve asked me to bring a selection of swords and other melee weapons for you. I didn’t bring any shields, but if you want some it won’t be a problem to get them to you.”
The Fallen Angel’s eyes lit up and she took the duffle. “Thank you, Lucifer, and thank you, Eve.” She disappeared inside.
Lucifer leaned back and toyed with the report while the two of them read the letter. When they were done, she put the report back down. “Opinions?”
Eve frowned. “What is the Des Moines Experiment?”
Lucifer smiled and tapped the papers in front of her. “It’s another attempt to deal with the cognitive issue that plagues Megami and Megami-sama.” She looked at Iain as comprehension bloomed behind Eve’s eyes. “As you know, it is understood by everyone that Megami and, to a lesser extent, Megami-sama are either good or bad at many things. We have discovered, and so has the Daisy Mae’s crew, that a large portion of this is due to the fact that many of both breeds tend to use the Cosmic Awareness as a crutch and therefore never learn how to learn. Things that they are good at, both breeds learn instinctively while the things they are bad at they find impossible to master to any degree.” She sipped at her juice. “It doesn’t help that celestial pokegirls across the board are catered to and forgiven if something is ‘just too hard to learn’. The Daisy Mae isolates the breeds and forces them to learn things that they normally wouldn’t. Isolation brings an esprit de corps that causes a synergistic learning acceleration for all of their crewmembers. They call it the Des Moines effect.”
Iain looked curious. “Did you have to deal with this problem?”
“No and yes, and it occurred in that order. You have to understand that the initial cadre of the Sisterhood was composed of pokegirls decanted from Sukebe’s production facilities and given accelerated learning programs using the forerunners of the T2s to insert raw knowledge into our brains. Therefore, we in the leadership positions did not ever ‘know’ that we were supposed to have a hard time learning things and so we never allowed ourselves, our children and our recruits to use that as an excuse to avoid training. Since we have longevity, our philosophy on this has remained the philosophy of the Sisterhood to this day. We did hear about it when we started recruiting Megami and Sama from outside the Sisterhood and, frankly, it astonished us.”
Eve chuckled. “Oh, the screaming and wailing that went on from some of them. They’d been raised to cheat and so accomplishing anything without cheating was really hard. That’s when we established the boot camps. It uses the isolation of the camp to accomplish the same thing that the Daisy Mae does.”
“Do you have to completely isolate the Megami and Samas too?”
“It’s Sama in both the singular and the plural and no, Iain, we don’t.” Lucifer shrugged. “It may help a little to do so, mainly because a lot of the other celestial and non-celestial breeds tend to defer to the Megami and Sama, often without even thinking about it. My people have been trained not to, and non-celestial breeds also can be conditioned out of the automatic response of ‘Megami are to be taken care of’. It does take some work, sometimes, and the crew of the Daisy Mae has had to work this out without an inner cadre like I had to draw upon. I really doubted anyone could accomplish this on their own, but I’m glad to see I was wrong.”
Iain nodded thoughtfully. “What about their offer?”
“I’d have liked it if they’d worked with me, but this is a more than acceptable alternative.” She winked at Eve. “I think I’ll name the ship the Iain Grey.”
He sucked juice down his windpipe in surprise and coughed it across the table in a fine purple spray. “Fuck,” he rasped. “That shit isn’t funny.”
“You should be careful when you use that word around pokegirls,” Lucifer laughed, “or you’ll find yourself with a much larger harem than you have now.” She sobered as he wiped down the table. “I have twenty or so Megami and Sama who already have naval experience with mechanically powered vessels who would jump at the chance to volunteer for this and I won’t have a problem finding enough volunteers to make up the rest of what she wants for a crew.”
“What about this assault on the Alliance Caomh Sith?”
Lucifer’s eyes flared angrily. “Whether a single person there wishes to join us or not, what the Alliance has done has crossed a line that I will not forgive. They must be stopped, any survivors among the prisoners released and whoever was responsible will be called to justice for their crimes. I will provide forces to that end in support of the Daisy Mae if they wish it. In any case, I intend to find out how deep the rot runs and purge it with the holy fire that the Alliance was supposed to wield in support of humanity.” She smiled slightly. “And if I can impose upon you for a pen and some paper, I’ll write them a note explaining all of that which your darling wife can deliver for me.”
Iain pushed away from the table. “I’ll get it. I need to reply to Kelvin’s letter too, but I want to think about it a little bit first.”
A little while later, Lucifer sat alone at the table. She looked thoughtful for a moment and then began writing in an elegant script.
To: Officer Commanding, Privateer Des Moines
From: Lucifer, Sisterhood of the Thorn
Captain, I was pleased upon receiving your prompt reply to my offer. I am sorry that my offer was not acceptable to you, but your reasoning is logical and, sadly, valid. Your counteroffers are more than I’d expected when I initiated communication with you and very generous indeed.
I don’t think that much negotiation would be necessary in a normal situation and, considering the time constraints your message hints at, this is anything but a normal situation. To that end, I will be blunt. I accept all of your offers and will begin preparing my side of the arrangements immediately.
I will have the observation team ready for transit within three days and they will await your call. As inferred, they will all be Megami and Sama. For the time being, until the observation team arrives on your vessel, please continue to use Eve as a conduit for any communications. Once they are on board, they will provide a link to the Sisterhood. I would request, and they will be so informed before leaving here, that if they can be put to work on your vessel instead of merely observing; then by all means put them to work. After all, it has been my experience that the best observations come from actually doing the work and not just from watching. Unless you require a separate group, members of this team will be instructed to assist your personnel with the Megami and Sama you will be receiving from the long term storage of the mentioned leagues. I will also make sure they know you have the first pick from among the new arrivals and, other than providing medical care if necessary, my people will stand aside until you are done processing the poor Rip Van Winkles.
I accept your offer of the items removed from the Alliance personnel and the research notes about them. It is possible to cut off access to the Celestial Awareness, but I suspect that in this case the effect was psychosomatic. My researchers will be eager to see what was done. I have never met this The March Hare and, while it is regrettable that she hates all of us for something that we did not do, she’s not the first and is unlikely to be the last. Her power does recommend caution around her, and I shall make sure everyone coming to your vessel knows to exercise that caution in order to avoid offense.
I accept your offer of a ship and will provide a crew for training at your convenience. Some of them will have previous naval experience and some will not so as to assure that all the knowledge your crew chooses to impart will be absorbed. The soonest the crew will be available for you will also be in three days. After that, they’re yours whenever you want.
I was not aware that the Alliance had strayed so far from their stated goals and, if you wish, I will gladly provide elements for the combined arms assault you informed me of. At this time I am considering a reinforced company with an attached precision artillery platoon, but that may change once I have a better idea of your needs and possibly the composition and numbers you are expecting from the opposing force.
The prisoners need to be rescued and the people responsible need to pay for the crimes they have committed. We both know that the prisoners would not have gone voluntarily and therefore it is very likely that they are now alone in the universe. The deaths of their harems and tamers cry out for justice.
Our VIP has received his letter from your VIP and he is not pleased with what he has learned. I do not doubt but that you will have his help.
I do not feel an urge to swaddle our VIP. To the contrary, his anger calls to the anger that was born inside me when I realized what Sukebe had done to humanity and what he still expected us to do to them in his name, the anger which made me refuse him and to rise against him. That anger is seductive and perhaps it means I have already fallen under his spell, but if it means we can save more of those who need saving by destroying what would destroy them, then so be it.
I look forward to corresponding with you and I do hope that someday we may meet face to face. Until then, I wish you the greatest success in your endeavors.
Lucifer looked the letter over for any changes she wished to make and sealed it. She was collecting her papers when April appeared to clean up. “Lucy, can I make a suggestion?”
“I value your opinion as much as or more than anyone else’s here, April. What is it?”
“When I was on the Daisy Mae, one of the things I did was visit the galley.” She flushed slightly. “I wanted to make sure that if we stayed, Iain would be taken care of properly. I got a chance to talk to the cooks and I found out that one of their supply issues revolves around an almost perpetual shortage of food. I wanted to suggest that whenever your people go to the Daisy Mae, they take food with them.”
Lucifer looked surprised for a second. “We don’t have a navy, but some of my people do serve on seagoing vessels and food stocks are always in need of replenishment. That’s an excellent idea and I’ll do just that. Thank you, April.”
***
Pandora signaled a halt and stepped back. Iain immediately leaned against his quarterstaff and sucked air into his lungs. “You’re getting faster and your endurance is increasing steadily.”
He used the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face. “Considering you’re a blur when you attack, I don’t have much choice about getting faster, now do I?”
“That’s true enough.” She tossed her staff behind her. “Very few pokegirls use staves as weapons and I think you’ve gotten good enough I can switch to something more realistic.” Her sword rasped as she slowly pulled it from its scabbard.
“Oh, crap. Two more minutes?” He sighed when she shook her head and advanced steadily.
The first blows he managed to parry, but when he tried a riposte her response was so fast that she knocked him off his feet. As he rolled back to a standing position, his staff flowed like water and became a black and silver sword. He recognized it as a side sword, a narrow, lightweight two edged weapon sometimes called a cut and thrust sword.
Pandora’s eyes were wide. “How did you do that?”
“I didn’t, but I intend to learn how to make my staff do that again when I want it to.” He placed his finger on the ricasso and the sword suddenly became an extension of his arm. “It looks like you get to teach me fencing.”
“I’m not sure a wooden sword is going to help you much. Point it at me and let me see how tough it is. Don’t worry; I’ll be gentle with it.” He extended the weapon and she carefully placed the edge of her sword against it and pulled gently. There was an odd grating sound and she abruptly lifted her blade free and examined it. “I don’t believe this.” Her eyes met his. “My sword is made of modern steel and your wooden one just notched it. You’re going to learn fencing with a different weapon because I’m not going to let you cut my new sword to ribbons.”
***
Iain opened the drawer of his desk and pulled out the letter from Kelvin. He opened it and began reading once again.
Kerrik,
Since this letter is being delivered by courier, I feel comfortable about using your name. It seems I have not abandoned those on the other side. Last night, we had a budget meeting. Allocation of resources rather than money, but the direction is the same. I'm sure it was not a dream dream, and they are aware of what's going on.
I don't know what you did or said, but every 'Meg and Sammy' aboard this ship is walking about 3 feet off the ground with an expression I've only seen after a proper Taming. And I can walk alone into the mess hall without every eye in the place tracking me. The only thing they're willing to say (and only if they think I and my Harem can't hear) is 'did you hear what Kerrik said?' Well, no I didn't, that's why I'm asking.
The point of this missive, which was asked for by the Captain, was an intelligence report from some of the Megami The March Hare processed. Some months ago, once they knew that the S-Goths were almost ready to bring us over, the Alliance began policing up all the Megami, Megami-Sama, Angels, Seraphs, Ophanim and other angel-based breeds, and even some Infernals, who could sense us, and would be inclined to assist us. Maybe not by joining up, but in whatever means they could. Policing up, it's such a trivial-sounding phrase for dragging people off to an other-dimensional concentration camp. The fact that when their Tamers are brought up, the entire room spontaneously becomes interested in the walls' paint job means I'm being hopelessly naive hoping they still live, or died easily.
The fact that they deliberately named this little camp Caomh Sith and made sure all the captives understood the reference, should tell me all I needed to know about the Alliance. I'm now sad that I didn't give The March Hare and Hazel free rein with them.
The Des Moines' crew is putting together plans to get there and attack. I'm formally inviting you and Micah to the party. Micah's friends are welcome, and I have an entire regiment like Blossom and Rainbow, who can never go home, but would probably enjoy serving Sanctuary and S-Goths again. As I understand it, Lucy is also on the invite list. Granny and Admiral Macmillian are also sending help. I think there are some people who are taking advantage of the fact we were going to stomp on the Alliance anyway. Hey, the more the merrier. Since I left you off the guest list last time, what is your opinion of including some of our countrymen on the invite list?
Plans and schemes go ahead, so while I await your answer, I think everyone else will go without a yay or nay from us.
Kelvin's Choice
I don't know what you did or said, but every 'Meg and Sammy' aboard this ship is walking about 3 feet off the ground with an expression I've only seen after a proper Taming. And I can walk alone into the mess hall without every eye in the place tracking me. The only thing they're willing to say (and only if they think I and my Harem can't hear) is 'did you hear what Kerrik said?' Well, no I didn't, that's why I'm asking.
The point of this missive, which was asked for by the Captain, was an intelligence report from some of the Megami The March Hare processed. Some months ago, once they knew that the S-Goths were almost ready to bring us over, the Alliance began policing up all the Megami, Megami-Sama, Angels, Seraphs, Ophanim and other angel-based breeds, and even some Infernals, who could sense us, and would be inclined to assist us. Maybe not by joining up, but in whatever means they could. Policing up, it's such a trivial-sounding phrase for dragging people off to an other-dimensional concentration camp. The fact that when their Tamers are brought up, the entire room spontaneously becomes interested in the walls' paint job means I'm being hopelessly naive hoping they still live, or died easily.
The fact that they deliberately named this little camp Caomh Sith and made sure all the captives understood the reference, should tell me all I needed to know about the Alliance. I'm now sad that I didn't give The March Hare and Hazel free rein with them.
The Des Moines' crew is putting together plans to get there and attack. I'm formally inviting you and Micah to the party. Micah's friends are welcome, and I have an entire regiment like Blossom and Rainbow, who can never go home, but would probably enjoy serving Sanctuary and S-Goths again. As I understand it, Lucy is also on the invite list. Granny and Admiral Macmillian are also sending help. I think there are some people who are taking advantage of the fact we were going to stomp on the Alliance anyway. Hey, the more the merrier. Since I left you off the guest list last time, what is your opinion of including some of our countrymen on the invite list?
Plans and schemes go ahead, so while I await your answer, I think everyone else will go without a yay or nay from us.
Kelvin's Choice
Iain settled back in his chair and sipped at his tea as he considered his reply. He regarded the mug and smiled to himself. Habit was a curious thing. He’d discovered that when he’d made himself immune to poisons like alcohol, his body had become rather non-discriminatory as to what it classified as a toxin. On that list was caffeine, so tea had become just another flavored liquid with some antioxidants in it. He still liked to drink it, just as he still liked wine and beer from time to time. It just didn’t do anything for him anymore.
He drained the mug and put it aside before pulling the paper and a pen towards him.
Kelvin,
I’m glad you’ve recovered from what was fortunately only a temporary condition on your part. I can only hope you’re not too upset at being forced to return to duties you may have been more than happy to give up.
I’m surprised that the crew of the Daisy Mae was so affected by my words, but I guess that not even Megami get unsought praise very often. I keep forgetting how much all pokegirls are treated like furniture by even the humans they help. All did I was give them an honest opinion of how much they’ve managed to do with the few toys the universe had given them for all of the years before you and Miguelito arrived to toss new things into the toy box. It wasn’t all that much really, but I’m pleased I was able to give them a morale boost.
After all, the events that seem to swirl around people like us are hardly bright and filled with sunshine. In those kinds of times, sometimes morale is what decides the day.
I’ll have to make sure I remember that in dealings with my own harem and the other ladies that enter and leave my life. I’ll admit my love to them, but “you did a good job and deserve to hear me tell you” sometimes is assumed and I need to watch that. We all know what happens when we assume.
It’s interesting and dismaying to hear all of the things that the Celestial Alliance has done in the name of good. Their assumption of good makes right is just as wrong as everyone else’s reasoning for trying to take over the lives of everyone around them. Of course I will be more than willing to help stop that sort of tyranny. Granted, what they helped to make happen to me and mine is a factor, but the truth is that it doesn’t matter. The Celestial Alliance is one of those things where Pastor Martin Niemöller was right and they will eventually come for me if I don’t stop them when they come for others.
Lucy is of the same mind and I understand she has already pledged her aid to the Captain of the Daisy Mae. I also know that she’s accepted the offer of a Daisy Mae clone and the workup of a Sisterhood crew to woman her. I just hope Lucy does not carry through on her joke/threat as to the ship’s name.
I look forward to working with you, and perhaps Micah, and anyone else who you can contact who is willing to help. Together, maybe we can teach whatever members of the Alliance who survive the coming storm that in order to have goodness and order one does not automatically have to impose that order through violence and force or by tricking others into becoming one’s proxies.
Since I am unsure if you have Micah’s address, I will send him a message letting him know that you wish to talk to him. I’m going to presume that these Tyrannodames are what you wished to give him in return for the dimensional portal spell and I’ll convey that to him as well.
If nothing else, I’ll enjoy pointing out to those survivors, and probably to the victors, that all of the mistakes they’ve made and all the evil they have carried out in the name of their goals has proven definitively that pokegirls are just as human as we who created them.
Kerrik Wolf
He put down the pen and read the letter through before folding it up and sealing it inside an envelope. Then he settled back down again.
Micah,
I have received a message from Kelvin. Apparently the business he had with the Celestial Alliance that I alluded to in my last message to you has not been completely concluded and for some reason he needs access to the dimensional portal spell that you sent to me. I know that you told me to freely offer it to any of us who might want it, but apparently he wants to trade and I wanted to pass the information on to you. You’ve got a bunch of Sanctuary Goths and he’s got a regiment of Tyrannodames in search of mistresses. I don’t know the details on that one, but it sounds like a hell of a story for afterwards. He wants to trade the spell for the dinosaur pokegirls.
In any case, until you can work out or request a way to contact Kelvin directly (asking me, for example), for the time being I will be more than willing to serve as a go between for the two of you. Do you want however many Tyrannodames are in a regiment? Do you want him to have the spell without you getting these Tyrannodames?
No, these and many other questions will not be answered in the next episode of Soap, so you’ll have to answer them yourself and get those answers back to me.
Thanks for your time, and I hope this missive finds you as well as possible.
Kerrik Wolf
Eve had already offered to deliver his letter to Kelvin later that day and he went looking for her so she could do just that. After that he’d throw himself on Vanessa’s mercy and ask that she deliver the message to Micah immediately.
***
Ninhursag looked around. “Why are we here?”
Eve chuckled. “Tradition. When we first came to London, Iain was still recovering from being Aglaii’s prisoner and he was pushing himself to get back into shape. He wanted to arrive here so he could get some exercise out of the trip, so we arrived here and walked the five kilometers into town. Since then, we always arrive here.”
“Tradition is stupid. We do plenty of walking around our place.” She glanced at Iain. “Tradition is also another way of saying ‘I’m predictable and therefore a target’. We don’t need to be any more predictable than absolutely necessary.”
Iain shrugged as he unclipped the Kerrik Wolf pokedex from his belt. “I suppose that’s valid enough. We’ll hike around London today and map out a bunch more arrival points before we leave.”
The Elfqueen looked pleased and then scowled. “Did you just say we were going to do more unnecessary walking?”
“It’s hardly unnecessary, but if you want to go home please tell Zareen to come here and take your place.”
Eve gave him a curious look. “Why her?”
“With Zareen we can ride instead of walking.” He jumped when the pokedex he held started vibrating and whistling loudly. “What the fuck? It’s not even turned on!”
Ninhursag lunged, grabbed the piece of electronics and hurled it away in one smooth motion. “Down!” She grabbed him and threw him to the ground, covering his body with hers.
Two minutes later Iain looked up at her. “So. Are we going to stay like this all day?”
She gave him a weak smile and began rubbing his shoulders. “You look tense. I thought you needed a quickie massage.” They laughed and she pulled him up with her as she rose.
Eve shook her head as she retrieved the still shrieking pokedex. “It’s a hunter emergency callout. We’re supposed to report to the nearest pokegirl center and await further instructions. It’s even got an arrow on the display showing where we should go.”
“Do we ignore it?”
The Megami-sama shook her head. “Your dex will report you failed to follow orders when it’s next connected with a network and the league will issue an arrest order.”
Iain glared at the pokedex. “I’ve fed you electrons and kept you warm with the heat of my very body. You are an ungrateful bastard piece of plastic.” It ignored him and kept alarming. “Fine, let’s get this over with.”
Eve pressed a button and the alarm died. “We go that way.” She handed him the pokedex. “Ninhursag isn’t listed as being part of Kerrik Wolf’s harem.”
The Elfqueen snorted. “Fuck them. I’m registered as a free pokegirl here and I don’t think they need to know otherwise.”
Iain shrugged. “It’s her decision. Personally I agree with it, too. The less we tell them, the better.”
Eve plastered a patient expression on her face that he’d learned meant he was missing something obvious. “If we’re not telling them she’s with us, she probably needs to go home so she’s not seen with us.”
Ninhursag grumbled. “It’s a shame when she makes sense. Want me to send Dominique back in my place?”
“Yes.” Eve watched her disappear before speaking again. “I’m glad you didn’t let the way she was when we first met her drive you away from her. She’s smart.”
“I think so too.”
“Can you delta bond Pandora to you?”
He blinked. “Can’t we let one relationship proceed naturally?”
“Not in this case. She already knows you delta bonded everyone else and Ninhursag already bragged that her delta bond appeared less than a day after you bedded her. She’s going to wonder why you’re not trying to do the same with her.” Eve met his gaze. “She is a Fallen Angel and, accidentally or not, she murdered her last tamer in a way that is anathema to a Seraph, which she still thinks like. If she decides you haven’t at least tried to delta bond her because she’s not worth it, she may agree with you and become careless with her safety.”
Iain grimaced. “I can’t get a normal girl, can I?”
“Sure you can. There are lots of normal pokegirls you could get. You just never look for normal, Iain. You don’t go looking for anyone. Somehow the oddballs just find you all on their own.”
Dominique appeared. “So what is so important that our pointy eared Giantess can’t help with?”
“Kerrik got a hunter callout and she’s not listed as being a member of his harem. You and I are.”
The Archmage looked thoughtful. “Was Scheherazade’s death ever reported?”
“No, but losing a pokegirl isn’t usually a big deal for a tradesman. It’s having undocumented pokegirls they get snippy about. Now let’s go see what is going on and how long it’s going to take to deal with it.”
The pokegirl center was staffed by a Nursejoy who was busy yelling at a tamer when they entered the building. “Young sir, I know your Tigress was badly beaten in a fight and you told me that she’d lost most of an arm! Why did you think it was necessary to release her in here so she could bleed all over the place, sir? All you needed to do was give me her pokeball so I could heal her!”
The tamer purpled. “DON’T YOU DARE YELL AT ME!” He broke off when Dominique snickered and shot a glare at the three of them. “Heal my pokegirl right now or I’ll write you up for insubordination!”
The Nursejoy paled. “I’m sorry, sir.”
Iain moved up to the counter. Her nametag read MILLICENT, but he ignored it. “Miss, where do you keep your mop and bucket?”
She blinked at him and pointed at a closet. “They’re in there, sir.”
Iain turned and drew his pistol. “Young sir, you are going to clean up the mess you made while this nice Nursejoy heals your Tigress.” He pointed the pistol at the tamer’s leg. “Or I am going to shoot you and then you’ll get to bleed yourself for a while until I decide to let someone heal your dumb ass.”
The tamer’s entire attention was on the muzzle of the pistol. “You can’t do this,” he stammered. “Who the hell are you?”
“I happen to be a man with a gun. I’m giving you a valuable life lesson. Here’s another one. When you don’t have any pokegirls out and someone has a gun, listen to what they have to say. I’m saying get to cleaning, boy, or I’m going to shoot you a little.”
“Why do I have to clean the place up?”
“Well, for starters because I’m in a bad mood and you’re convenient and not bulletproof. However, the real reason is that you let your wounded pokegirl out for no important reason and she might have died because of it. You’re going to clean up so you’ll remember that little bit of trivia in the future. Next time you’ll know to release her after she’s been healed so you can verify she’s back to the way she was before.” He gave the tamer a lazy grin. “You just got three life lessons and you haven’t had to bleed for any of them. Yet.”
“Three?”
“First, don’t wander around without a pokegirl or a gun. I’d recommend the pokegirl in your case. Not everyone is a gun person. Second, people with guns make rules if you don’t have a pokegirl or a gun out. Third, pokeballs keep your girls alive and safe until they can be healed. Releasing them before they can be healed has consequences, in this case that being you get to clean up the mess. You’re lucky. It didn’t cost anyone their life. Now get moving.”
He went.
Iain sighed. “Dee, watch him.” He turned around to the Nursejoy. “Yes, I was a bit unconventional, but sometimes I shouldn’t be let out in public.” He offered her his pokedex. “I’m Kerrik Wolf and I’m answering the hunter callout I just received. When you get done healing the Tigress, I’d like to know what’s going on.”
She grabbed the pokeball off the tray and his pokedex. “I’ll be right back, sir.”
Eve watched her disappear through the door behind the counter. “You know she’s calling the police.”
“I know. The rules for responding with a callout are very specific. I am to proceed and check in with all dispatch, dealing with any problems that crop up along the way. Idiot boy back there was a problem. I dealt with it. The police should understand that and, if they don’t, they can kiss my ass. The worst I’ll get is a fine.”
The Nursejoy appeared again. “Sir, someone will be along shortly to explain to you what is going on with the hunter callout.” She relaxed slightly when he put the pistol away. “Sir, I don’t mean to pry”, she said in a low voice, “but you could get into a lot of trouble for threatening him.”
“Actually, I would get into a lot of trouble if I actually shot him. Don’t worry, if he wasn’t being an abusive clod, both to you and to his Tigress, I wouldn’t have gotten involved.”
“Sir?” When he looked at her, she gave him a shy smile. “Thank you.”
Eve looked at her and smiled suddenly. “Are you, by chance, a civil service pokegirl?”
Iain gave his wife a flat look. “Don’t go there.”
Whatever she was going to reply was lost when the door opened and two heavily armed police entered the room, followed by a Ladyien. Iain blinked when he realized she was wearing a charcoal gray business suit.
The Ladyien looked around the room, her eyes settling on Iain. “Mr. Wolf?”
“Yeah.”
The tamer whipped around. “Hey, police! You have to help me! That man is gonna shoot me!”
The police looked at him and at the Ladyien. She turned to Iain. “Is that true?”
“I threatened to shoot him unless he cleaned up the blood from when he stupidly let his Tigress out to demonstrate the fact that she’d lost an arm to the Nursejoy so she’d know his pokegirl needed healed.”
The Ladyien’s eyebrows rose and she nodded. “I see.” She turned back to the tamer. “It sounds to me like you need to finish mopping up that blood. If you don’t, Master Wolf here will shoot you and then he’ll probably strip you of your tamer’s license.”
The young man went white. “He can’t do that!”
“I work for the Ministry of Defense, young man. All tamers are provisional members of the BLSF and therefore can be made subject to the BLSF’s regulations. Master Wolf works for the Ministry and if he wants your license pulled, you will no longer be a tamer.” She turned back to Iain as the young man began frantically swiping the mop around again. “My name is Camille, Master Wolf. I’m sorry for the little subterfuge with your pokedex, but considering your past relationship with the former Deputy Minister Harris, my mistress figured you’d tell us to bugger off if we tried to call you in.”
“So there was not hunter callout?”
“Yes, there was, but you were the only hunter called.”
Eve frowned. “You said former?”
“Once certain activities of hers came to light, some of which involve her treatment of you, Master Wolf, it was decided to that it was time for her to retire from her post with the government. My mistress will be able to explain in greater detail. Would you be willing to come with me and meet with her?”
He looked at Eve and Dominique and saw the same thing in both of their eyes. “We would. Camille, this is Eve, my alpha and Dominique. Ladies, this is Camille.”
The Ladyien smiled. “Call me Cammie.” She looked at the police. “Would one of you please stay and make sure this young man finishes his task.”
The police looked at each other and one nodded. “If it’s all right with you, ma’am, we’ll both stay. You didn’t think you’d need any further escort if they agreed to go with you, has that changed?”
Camille shook her head. “No, it hasn’t. Thank you for the escort, officers. I think I’m safe enough with a celestial tamer and his Megami-sama.” She turned around to leave, revealing that the suit was backless and left her wing cases exposed for use.
Once outside, Iain gave her a curious look. “I work for the Ministry of Defense? Me? When did this happen?”
“Well, that’s the hope at least,” she replied with a chuckle. “My mistress will fill you in on what’s been going on and what she’d like you to do. I think you’ll find she’s much easier to work with than Harris was.”
The Ministry of Defense was housed on a campus that held a dozen five story buildings. Cammie led them to one of them, stopping in front of the security detail. She looked at the Espea who was coming forward. “On my authority you are not to scan these people.” The Espea’s ears flicked and she obediently returned to her post. “I’ll need passes for Kerrik Wolf, Eve the Megami-sama and Dominique the Archmage.” She glanced at Iain as the guard started typing on his pokedex. “What about Scheherazade? I was looking forward to meeting her, too.”
“You missed your chance. She’s dead.”
A sympathetic look flicked across the Ladyien’s face. “You have my condolences.” She blinked when his expression went stony. “What did I just do wrong?”
“You have obviously read my file but we have never met. You don’t know me and you damned well didn’t know Scheherazade. So you can’t feel any sort of support for my loss, which leaves only pity for me. I don’t like being pitied.”
Cammie put all four of her hands together and bowed deeply. “I am sorry that I offended you, Master Wolf. That was not my intent.”
Eve touched his arm. “Kerrik,” she said softly.
“I know, Kerrik don’t be such an ass.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m sorry I’m grumpy. Please accept my apology for being a jerk.”
The Ladyien smiled brightly. “You are apologizing to me? I accept, before you can withdraw the apology.”
Once the passes were ready, she distributed them and led them inside the building to an elevator. It opened onto a richly decorated foyer where she led them past an Iron Maiden working at a desk. She looked up from her computer’s keyboard and silently watched them go by before returning to her work.
They passed several closed doors as they walked down the hallway. It ended in a reception area where a G-Poindexter was sitting at a desk. Plush chairs filled the rest of the area. “Please wait here while I let my mistress know I’ve returned.” She disappeared through two massive wooden doors only reappear a moment later. “I am very sorry, but there’s still someone else who will be arriving in about ten minutes to meet with you and my mistress. She’d go ahead and receive you now, but there’s some work she’d like to get done so she can clear her schedule for the rest of the day for you, Master Wolf. May I offer you and your harem some refreshments?”
“Thank you, but no.” Iain hesitated and then plunged ahead. “Cammie, please understand that I had plans for today that did not include cooling my heels in London.”
She winced. “I know. Please, Master Wolf, the reason all of this is happening is vitally important and bear with us for a little while longer.”
“I’ll give you twenty minutes and then I’ll reevaluate.”
Cammie looked relieved. “Thank you. I’ll let my mistress know.” She went through the doors again.
It was twelve minutes later by Iain’s mental clock when Cammie returned. “This way, Master Wolf.”
“What about Eve and Dominique?”
She looked surprised. “Master Wolf, we would never dream of separating the three of you.”
The office on the other side of the double doors was large and elegantly furnished. Shelves and the walls were decorated with artifacts obviously from before the Revenge War. A Kung-Ewe sat on a comfortable stool near the door, reading a magazine. A middle aged woman with bright red hair that fell in curls to her shoulders rose from behind the desk and came around to greet them. “Master Wolf, I am glad you waited.” Dominique stiffened as she gestured to a balding man of roughly sixty years of age who was sprawled in one of the chairs in front of the desk. “I would like to introduce you to Colin Llewellyn. I think his presence here will underscore the severity of the situation.”
Dominique’s mind touched his. That’s the President of the Blue League.
Iain bobbed his head briefly. “Mr. President.”
Llewellyn slid to his feet with a smoothness that made Iain shave a decade off his estimate of the man’s age. He nodded back. “Master Wolf, I know that things are still murky to you, but I want to thank you, on behalf of the Blue League, for your exemplary service to the nation and its people. If everything you’ve done wasn’t completely secret, you’d have earned our highest award.” He held out his hand. “Thank you.”
Iain shook his hand carefully. “The Blackguards took all of the risks, Mr. President. All I did was identify the targets. They’re the ones who deserve the medals.”
“I know, and if I could, I would give them a pile of them. But they swore an oath for the work they did and you didn’t.” Llewellyn smiled warmly at the three of them. “You’ll be dealing with Minister Chambers here, but I wanted to meet you and give you this.” He produced a round package from his pocket. “I believe you were promised an ebony stone for your work and the Blue League does not renege on its obligations. This one is the most powerful stone we recovered.”
Iain took the stone, suppressing the bitter feelings that welled up inside him at the sight of it. “Thank you, Mr. President.”
Llewellyn checked his watch. “And, unfortunately, I have to leave now. Master Wolf, I bid you a good day.” He nodded to the redhead and quickly left through the double doors.
The woman was watching Iain intensely. “Do you remember me?”
“If we had ever met, I wouldn’t have forgotten you. May I ask who you are? The President referred to you as Minister?”
She blinked. “Oh, Cammie didn’t tell you? I am the Minister of Defense for the Blue League.” She held out her hand. “My name is Monica Chambers.”
Iain’s mouth dropped. “Cherry?”
Her eyes widened and then filled with pleasure. “You do remember me, Kerrik. How is Jamie?”
“Um, how should I address you?”
She headed back to her chair. “In here, Monica is fine. I haven’t been called Cherry since I left the military to enter the civilian administration to the league.” She nodded towards the door. “Out there I should probably be called Minister Chambers or some flunkies will have coronaries on the spot.”
“Monica, I am Kerrik Wolf the author, not Kerrik Wolf the kami. I know you, Cammie and Donna from writing about Jamie in boot camp. Like I’ve said, we never met.” He tapped the top of his head. “No ears.”
Chambers looked disappointed. “Oh. I was hoping to find out what happened to them. They disappeared, you know.”
“I know. They’re doing well, by the way. You do realize that they only left because the Blue League was getting ready to use a nuclear weapon on Caomh Sith.” It had been very amusing to Iain when he’d discovered a while ago that the verb nuke had fallen out of use in this world with the disappearance of nuclear weapons.
The blood drained out of Monica’s face. “How do you know that,” she whispered. “I didn’t find out until after I’d become Minister.”
“I covered it in the story. I know the Blue League kept several of their nuclear warheads and have maintained and rebuilt them over the centuries. I haven’t told anyone and I don’t plan to.”
“Good. Discussing state secrets is a violation of the Defense of the League Act. The penalties are very severe.” She sighed. “And I really don’t want to chase you all over the league trying to catch you. Harris proved how difficult that is when she tried to find you.”
“If it helps, I don’t want to be chased anywhere. Nobody but a league agent for Blue or maybe another league’s spy would even believe that Blue was hoarding Forbidden Tech weapons. Telling them would just make me violate DOLA.” He shrugged. “It’s not important enough to me.”
Eve frowned. “Why are we here?”
Chambers chuckled. “Having celestial pokegirls around is always refreshing. They don’t understand that pokegirls should be silent until spoken to.” The Kung Ewe laughed softly and she smiled. “We don’t believe it either, but it’s still a prevalent issue for a lot of people. The reason you are here, Eve, is because I am aware that Kerrik was in the Sunshine League recently and that he visited a special warship there. The Blue League has been approached by the powers behind the Daisy Mae and we have accepted their offer of a Megami manned cruiser from them. I want to hire Kerrik as a consultant to assist since their captain has no problems working with him.” She leaned back in her chair. “How does the rank of lieutenant commander sound to you?”
Iain blinked and thought rapidly. “First of all, I haven’t accepted anything. Second, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“I don’t want to make you lower in rank, but higher would cause problems.”
“Monica, I don’t want any rank at all. If I have rank, people will believe I went through boot camp and am familiar with BLSF protocols, which I am not. More importantly, if I have rank, people with higher rank will think they can give me orders. I’ve done that already and the idea of doing it again does not excite me in the least.”
Cammie had remained standing near the door when they entered and now she spoke up. “It sounds like you are still considering the job.”
“I’m willing to listen to what the job is supposed to be,” he corrected calmly. “I’m not going to say yes before I find out I’ll have to dredge out the Thames with a shovel.”
“You’ll have two jobs, Kerrik. The first is to observe the cruiser after its delivered and to monitor the workup of the crew. The second job will run concurrently and will consist of you making sure that my new crew of Megami isn’t disrupted by BLSF naval personnel who ‘know’ better ways of doing things.”
“I get to tell the people who work for you to fuck off and die? I take it you expect me to walk across the water to the ship, too.” Behind him came choked off noises that he finally decided were Cammie trying not to laugh out loud.
Monica shook her head. “No, I think those two miracles will be more than enough.”
“Why us?” Dominique waved a hand airily when Chambers looked in her direction. “You don’t really need us for this. I’m sure you have a couple of honest people who could do this for you, and they’d do it for a lot cheaper than what we’re going to charge you.”
Monica nodded. “That’s true, but you’ve been requested by the Megami-sama who will be commanding the new cruiser.”
“Who would that be? I don’t know many Megami-sama here.” Iain glanced at Eve. Think this is a trick by the Celestial Alliance to try to get their hands on us?
I don’t know. I suppose it could be.
“Her name is Sif and she says the two of you know each other quite well.”
That fucking slut! Eve’s eyes blazed with sudden fury. I told her she wasn’t going to get your seed, Lucy told her she wasn’t going to get your seed and she goes and tries this? I’m going to tear her into tiny pieces, burn them and scatter the ashes over four oceans and seven continents!
Iain winced at the noise of his wife shrieking in his head. “I’d like to help you, Monica, but I’m already committed to something that won’t leave the time I’d need to do this job properly. I’m really sorry, with the exception of dealing with Sif this sounds like it would be a wonderful job.”
Monica looked surprised. “You have a problem with Sif?”
“No, I’ve only met her once. My alpha, however, and Sif don’t like each other at all.”
“I didn’t know that Megami disliked one another.”
Dominique snorted loudly. Everyone turned to look at her and her eyes went wide when she realized what she’d done. “Minister, Megami, Sama and other celestials are all individuals who claim to have the same final goal. Of course they’re not going to always see eye to eye on how to attain that goal. Some of the most violent fights in history came out of religious discord. Some of the Megami absolutely loathe one another.” The Archmage smiled slightly. “I saw a lot of that when I worked for the league and, to be completely honest, they can be as bad as if you put a dozen Demon-Goddesses and a dozen Neo Iczels together. The only real difference is there’s usually less blood spilled with the Megami.”
“I didn’t know that,” Chambers said slowly. “Kerrik, could you tell me what it is that you have to do?”
“All I really should say is that I’m not breaking any law of the Blue League and that if I fail, I’ll probably die in short order. At least I hope I do. There are things worse than death, you see.”
“I know.” She leaned forward intently. “I don’t suppose you will have some free time that I could hire from you? You see, my boss wants you employed by us. It makes him feel more comfortable since it’ll put you in a category he understands. I’m worried that if I can’t employ you for something, he’ll want to put you into a different category and that would involve taking you into some form of custody.” She gave him an odd smile. “I don’t want to do that. You’ve held up your end of every agreement we’ve made with you.”
Iain’s eyebrow went up. “So my choices are to get hired for something and get paid or possibly get disappeared? I think that’s an easy choice. I can free up some time for something, but not the cruiser thing.”
“How about I hire you as a troubleshooter and pay you a retainer with the understanding that I’ll contact you when I need something done and you’ll try to accommodate me. We’ll negotiate the details when I offer you a job. In the meantime, you’ll agree not to work for any other league unless I release you from this contract.”
“You are aware that the Daisy Mae is not part of the Sunshine League or the Navy, right?”
“I am. They’re a privateer in independent service. If you want to work with them, I have no objections. Is it true that all of you authors are pureblooded humans?”
Iain blinked at the sudden change of subject. “We are from a world without pokegirls, if that’s what you’re asking. Blood purity can mean many different things to many different people.”
“That’s what I was asking, Kerrik. Thank you for answering honestly and I’ll keep that little piece of information to myself. In the wrong hands it could cause a lot of mischief.” She rose and came around the desk. “I do want to thank you for coming in, both so we could meet and get this settled, but also for a far more personal reason.” She grinned when he looked surprised. “This didn’t take long, but I wasn’t sure so I cleared my entire schedule for the day. Now I’ve got the rest of the day free, the weather is perfect and me and my girls are going to go out and have some fun.” She hugged him. “Thank you.”
***
Iain Grey - Tradesman
Eve - Megami-sama (maharani)
Dominique - Blessed Archmage
April - Duelist
Ninhursag - Elfqueen
Zareen - Nightmare
Pandora - Fiendish Fallen Angel
Dragonesses
Eirian - Silver
Skye - Blue
Emerald - Green
Aurum - Gold
Beryl - Red