Into the Fire
Nine
“I don’t want to attend Sadie Pokens since I don’t like the concept that it embodies. What’s so hard to understand about that statement?”
Eve folded her arms. “Why not?”
Kerrik’s face twisted. “Sadie Pokens is supposed to be a safety valve so pokegirls can leave an abusive relationship instead of killing their tamers, but it’s really nothing more than a joke and a travesty. Oh, yes, it’s also a lie. It is actually a fucking meat market where tamers parade around trying to convince pokegirls that each one is her dream man while the pokegirls wander around hoping against hope that they’ll find someone this time that they can trust not to feed them into the meat grinder that’s life here. Any pokegirl who isn’t extremely powerful or damn near unique is completely out of luck. Her new tamer will either L5 her, sell her or trade her for something he values more, like a decorative hat. In some places pokegirls are given away as prizes for random games of chance, for blood’s sake.” He smiled slightly at the stunned looks on his pokegirls. “That’s right; I’m not a big fan of the whole idea. It just so happens that Sadie Pokens Day is nothing more than a plot device so a writer can give his main character something that he either intends to screw his MC over with or something he can’t find a way to otherwise justify.” He shook his head. “If properly bonded, almost any pokegirl will never leave her tamer, no matter how much of a dickweed he happens to be. Otherwise the teams wouldn’t have any pokegirls at all and there would be a lot fewer Mini-tops and Penances. Then there’s the Domina line. How else could Domina breeds have victims in a harem? Any pokegirl with a lick of sense would head for the hills as soon as she realized her new tamer had a Domina, especially if the bitch was the alpha.” He growled softly. “If I had one and she started hurting pokegirls who didn’t want to be hurt, I’d gut her like a trout.” He sighed. “Correction, I’d order her victims to gut her like a trout since she’d cream me before I could stick the knife in.” His eyes narrowed to slits. “Correction, I’d order her victims to tie her up so I could gut her myself.”
“That merely makes it more important that you go, since you wouldn’t treat any pokegirl like that.” Dominique settled down next to Eve. “You’re better than other tamers.”
“You of all people should know that’s crap. Can you tell me, you former man-hater you, how much of that statement is you and how much of it is your bond with me talking? You wanted nothing to do with me before Evangelion pulled her stunt and we ended up delta bonded.”
Dominique looked down at her hands. “That’s not entirely true,” she said quietly. “One of the reasons I was so mean to you was because I was attracted to you when we met. To a free pokegirl there’s nothing more dangerous than finding a human she’s interested in. You already know about that with April. She’s willing to give everything up to be with you and all you have to do is crook your finger to her.” She raised her gaze to meet his. “And for the record I was mean to you before I was ordered into the wilderness with your harem.”
He fought a smile and lost. “While on a personal level that’s actually very flattering, and I thank you for it very much, I was really counting on you to support my reasoning.”
“I can’t. I don’t believe your logic is sound.”
“I can’t take them all. I’m a vigilante masquerading as a tradesman pokegirl hunter, for blood’s sake. I’m not going to drag a bunch of pokegirls to Sanctuary to punish them for thinking I’m a nice guy.” He rubbed his face with his hands and leaned against the counter behind him. “I don’t want to take you three against Sanctuary, but I keep having this sneaking suspicion that if we don’t smack them hard, they’ll chase us until we’re all dead.”
“You can take the ones you can.” Scheherazade was sitting on the floor. “Besides, this feels right.”
Kerrik folded his arms and glared at the Dread Wolf. “I don’t give a rat’s ass if it feels orgasmic. I am not a puppet dancing to some tune I can’t even hear.”
Eve shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Even if it was accidentally, you said you’d go to Sadie Pokens and now you have to.”
He smiled broadly. “Then it’s going to be just a shame when I show up and then have to leave again when I can’t be scanned by the local celestial.” He wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. “It just crushes me.”
“I can scan you.” Eve gave him an amused look. “I already have and I’ve updated your TTR.”
He scowled. “So what does it say about me on the hidden side of Tamer.net? Hell, what does it say about me on the official side? I’ve never been there, but if I have a total tamer rank then someone has set me up an account there.”
Eve’s eyes widened slightly. “Could you stop knowing things for a little while?”
Kerrik shrugged. “I’m just curious. I don’t know the passwords to the pokegirl side of the site anyways.”
“That’s good. Tamers have no business there.”
He smiled. “Tradesman, remember?”
Eve didn’t return the smile. “Ok, you have no business there. How’s that?”
“It’s annoying, that’s what it is. Now I’m really curious as to what the pokegirl side says.”
“Please don’t go snooping.”
“The official side is public record. Can I at least look there?”
The Megami-sama nodded. “Yes, you can. I’m sorry I overreacted.”
“You probably didn’t overreact. After all, nobody’s sure what I can do or what I know, not even me. However, even if I did know the passwords to the pokegirl side, I’d treat it like I treated private chats on the boards I moderated. I had access to them, but I didn’t poke around unless I was investigating a specific complaint. I always protect people’s secrets if I can. That and most of the private chats were smut and of no interest to me.”
“You’re not a moderator on Tamer.net.”
“No, I’m not, but if I somehow knew the passwords I wouldn’t go there.” He sighed. “Let’s just drop the subject, ok? You’ve set me up so I have to go to Sadie Pokens and I have to live with it.”
Eve gave him a hurt look. “I didn’t set you up.”
“No other psychic or celestial can scan me, so unless you scanned me I wouldn’t have a TTR and I couldn’t go. That makes you responsible for ensuring that I have to attend, does it not?”
She frowned and then nodded slowly. “It does. Do you want me to remove your scan?”
Scheherazade stirred. “I don’t.”
“I didn’t ask you. Kerrik?”
“Leave it. It’s already been done.” He pushed away from the counter. “I’m going to go take a bath. I do not want company, sex or someone to bathe me. Is that clear? Right now my wishes have been deliberately thwarted and I want to spend some time alone. And by that I mean really alone, not kind of alone or sort of alone with someone nearby watching. Completely alone.”
The three women watched helplessly as he left the room.
***
The moon was setting when Kerrik entered the clearing that contained the ley line and settled down cross legged. He frowned and sighed when he realized that something else had changed and he could feel the presence of the Dragonesses. They were nearby, but not visible to mortal eyes. It also meant that he was pretty safe from ferals, since he could summon the Dragonesses with a single word. Later he’d be able to summon them with a thought, but not yet.
He leaned back, propping himself on his hands, and looked at the sky, staring at the stars and the occasional cloud that scudded by. All three members of his harem were asleep in the house. He couldn’t sleep, so he’d gotten up without disturbing Scheherazade and headed outside to practice his magic.
He made a face. His one spell. A blue ball of light wasn’t anything that he was going to win a duel with, but it was all he had. The funny thing was that since he’d mastered the light spell, it had been almost effortless to cast. This suggested that more powerful magic would be his to command, if only he could figure out how to unlock it.
Let’s start at the beginning. He focused his will and deliberately cast the light ball spell, speaking in a low voice so as not to draw potential trouble. His lips thinned when nothing happened. Great, now I’ve lost even that. What am I doing wrong? He tried again. Nothing. For the next ten minutes he tried every different variation on casting techniques he’d been taught. All yielded the same result. Nothing.
Frustrated, he slapped the ground as he growled. “I want light, damnit!” A sphere of blue light appeared in front of him and exploded into brilliance before vanishing as he fell backwards trying to shield his eyes. “That hurt.” He lay still; looking at the sky while the spots in his sight vanished and his night vision, such as it was, returned. “What is going on?”
Slowly he pushed upright and looked around the clearing. It couldn’t be that easy, could it? He imagined the light ball from before. “Light.” The softly glowing blue ball suddenly hung in the air in front of him. “Well, this sucks. Then again, I did summon the ball this time.” He focused on the light. “Go.” It vanished.
On impulse, held out his hand and imagined flames. “Fire.” Flames appeared and his heart skipped a beat. Kerrik fell backwards as they vanished and gasped for air as his heart restarted. His breathing slowed. “Ok, I stand corrected. That hurt.”
He laid thinking for a moment before pushing back upright on wobbly arms. “Damn, that took a lot out of me. Note to self. Powering magic with personal life energy is a really bad idea.” He got settled and imagined himself as a magic sink, drawing the ambient magic around him into his body and storing it in an impenetrable sphere of infinite capacity.
He waited and held out his hand. “I think I’ll vocalize until I get this stuff down. Fire.”
It burst into flames. He smiled for a heartbeat, and then the pain of his burning hand hit. He gasped and tried to put his hand out, but he couldn’t focus enough to control any magic. Kerrik threw himself flat on his stomach as he tucked his hand under his body to try and smother the flames. He lay there, quietly whimpering for a while before slowly rolling over. Kerrik peered at his injured hand and winced. It looked like it had burst from within and he could see bone sticking out from the burned meat.
Dark hands took his wrist and coolness spread over his hand. “That was stupid.” Dominique’s healing magic dulled the pain and began to work on his injury.
“I won’t argue with that one. That was stupid.”
“Your hand will be fine.” She looked into his eyes. “What about you?”
“I’ll be ok. How did you know I was out here?”
“I’m an Archmage. A spell to inform me when you begin straying was simple to create and, considering your proclivities for privacy, well advised. How did you do this to your hand?”
“I wasn’t thinking. At least I figured out how to access my magic. I just have to be careful about how I use it.”
“That is painfully obvious, or it should be to you.” Generous lips curved in a smile. “You won’t do that again soon.”
“Actually I will. I’ve got a lot of work to do and not much time to do it in.” Kerrik gently pulled his hand from her grasp. “I’ll be more careful from now on and have one of you around when I’m trying to practice.”
“That would probably help a lot. Why are you out here at this time of the morning?” She gave him an arch look. “Didn’t Scheherazade give you enough of a workout?”
“I couldn’t sleep. I’m sleeping less again. It seems to run in cycles and I haven’t figured out why yet. It’s been an issue my whole life.”
Dominique took his hand again and glared when he tried to tug it back. “You’re not done healing and we both need to get some sleep. Can we go back to the house?”
He sighed. “All right, I won’t try again until I’m healed. Besides, when we get back to the house I’ve got something for you.”
“Tonight is your night with Scheherazade and she hits when she’s angry. While I’m pleased that you want me, I’ll pass.”
Kerrik chuckled as they headed for the house. “I know she does, but that isn’t what I was talking about. I have a gift for you.”
Dominique pulled him to a halt and swung around to face him. “What kind of gift?”
“Something I think you’ll like, that’s what kind. Look, it’ll be easier if we just go get my pokepack.”
“Please don’t get me in trouble with Eve or Scheherazade. They’re finally accepting my presence and Shay and I haven’t fought in days.”
“I’ll take any heat from this, but Scheherazade had better realize that this gift would be more helpful for you than it would be for her or Eve.”
“Now you’ve managed to pique my curiosity. You’ll protect me from the others if they get mad?”
“I will do my best to keep you safe.”
She nodded. “At least you realize that you may not be able to. I’ll see your gift.” She tugged him back into motion.
Once at the house he slipped into his room and came out with his pokepack. Behind him came Scheherazade, who yawned as she headed for Eve’s room. Dominique watched her warily. “What’s she doing?”
“I told her to wake Eve up and join us in the kitchen. I’ll explain what’s going on to everyone at once so they understand my reasoning and can try to change my mind before they get angry.” He smiled slightly. “I did say I’d try to protect you from any fallout.”
She nodded and headed for the kitchen. “I’ll make some tea.”
A short time later everyone was in the kitchen. Kerrik dropped his pokepack at his feet and looked at everyone in turn. “I know this is an odd time for this, but I want to give Dominique something that will help her in combat. I want you to understand that while it could help any one of you, it’ll help her the most.”
Eve nodded as she sipped her tea. “So why are we up?”
“So you know what’s going on and don’t take any anger out on Dominique when she gets this gift and you don’t. She doesn’t know what it is and so couldn’t have tried to convince me that she deserved it more than either of you.” He picked up the pokepack and released the belt he’d gotten from Eoghan. “This is it. It’s an enchanted belt that increases the user’s strength. It’ll make Dominique about as strong as Eve is.” He looked around before handing it to the Archmage. “She’s the only one without enhanced strength and this’ll give her a nasty surprise to offer when someone decides to close on her because she’s the weakest of the group.”
Dominique examined it before looking at him curiously. “Kerrik, will this belt work on you?”
“I was really hoping that question wouldn’t come up. Yes, it will, but I’m not going to try to match myself against any pokegirl. You are bred to fight and are instinctively better at it than I’ll ever be. It’s most useful to increase your power to help keep me safe, so it goes to you.”
“I’ll wear it during practice today.”
“I was actually thinking that you should start wearing it almost all of the time. I know you’ll break stuff as you get used to the biofeedback from your newfound strength, but by having you use it almost constantly, if you have to grab me in a battle to get me to safety, you won’t crush what you’re hanging on to.”
Scheherazade’s ears flicked. “That’s a tactically sound idea. Why almost all of the time? Why not have her always wear it?”
“I’m willing to take the chance we’ll get attacked when she’s in bed with me without it than have her snap my spine during a moment of passion. You don’t lose control like that, but Eve has pulled a couple of my muscles before. I don’t want Dominique to have to go through that.”
Eve chuckled as Dominique paled. “Her injuring you would tend to negate any goodwill she got from having you brief us beforehand, wouldn’t it? Dominique, you’ll wear it when you’re up and around.”
“Yes my alpha.”
***
The night sky was filled with stars and the hillside seemed to echo with the chirps of crickets. A dark figure appeared at the summit of the hill and the crickets instantly went silent. Its head moved from side to side cautiously, ears flicking as they sampled the darkness.
The voice came from behind her. “It’s about time you showed up, sister.”
The figure jumped and whirled to face the direction the voice had come from. “The fact that we are both based off of cats does not mean I am your sister and stop playing around.”
“Why?” The figure whirled again when the voice once again came from behind her. “You asked me to meet you here, and I’m bored.” She spun a third time when the voice still came from behind her.
“Macavity! I have important news for you.” Sexmet’s ears flicked and her tail lashed. “Something’s happened to Jenova.”
Another figure appeared, this one towering over her fellow legendary. Her eyes were wide with interest. “I have been looking for my toy. Do you know where she went?”
Sexmet smiled slyly. “She went to Sanctuary. One of my spies intercepted a message telling where she was.”
Macavity’s eyes narrowed. “I told her to stay away from that place. She’s mine and I’m not going to share her with those militant tight assed bitches.” She looked at her hand and idly chewed on a claw tip. “I want my toy when I want her and I’m not going to the Dark Continent to get her when I’m feeling playful. You run back there and you tell her to get her butt back here right now.”
Sexmet’s ears flattened. “I don’t work for you, Vi, so you just forget about giving me orders.” A satisfied look filled her eyes. She never cared for either Macavity or Jenova. “Besides, I can’t give her any message, but you could. You just need the right communication’s system.”
“What are you babbling about?” Macavity didn’t like other people playing games with her.
“It’s easy. All you need is an Ouija board.”
“You’re not funny. I can’t stand when people are not funny. Give me my Jenova or tell me where she is or go away.” She grinned toothily. “Going away is just fine by me.”
“How can someone so dense manage to survive the last three hundred years,” Sexmet muttered to herself. “Jenova is gone to that great litter box in the sky, Vi. She’s dead.”
“Right.” Macavity snorted hard enough to blow a spray of snot. She grinned and wiped her face with her leather sleeve. “Pull the other one.”
“I’m telling you the truth. Someone sent her head to Sanctuary and they reacted to it like a termite mound that’s been blown open with explosives.” Sexmet’s eyes glowed softly at the memory. “It warmed the cockles of my heart.”
Macavity’s ears flattened. “Nobody breaks my toys but me. Jenova is mine and I want her back.” She gave a petulant yowl. “Now!”
“I can’t give you the dead, Vi. Not even Anubust can. But I can tell you who killed her. According to my sources, he’s still in the Blue League.”
Macavity was silent for several seconds. “He? Did you say he? A human broke my toy?”
“His name is Kerrik Wolf.”
The Chaos legendary’s ears flattened. “Is he with that stuck up Shikarou? You told me he’d be fun and you lied.”
“They’re long gone, Vi, and nobody knows where they went. This one is a different Wolf.”
“Why’d he break my toy?”
Sexmet smiled and lied through her teeth. “I have no idea. I do know that Sanctuary wants him.”
“Well, they can’t have him.” Macavity’s response was almost instantaneous. “He broke my toy and I’m going to need a new one. I pick him.”
“Choose someone else.” Both pokegirls whirled as a third person stepped out of some nearby bushes and unfolded to face them squarely. “I have already chosen him for something and you having him won’t allow him to do what I want him to.”
Sexmet’s lip curled like she smelled something bad. “Evangelion. What sewer did you crawl out of?”
“Why the attitude, Sexmet?”
“Remember what you told me when I came to you and beseeched your aid in order to protect my Cheetit from the dinos? I haven’t forgotten you said no. Did you?”
Evangelion shook her head. “I don’t have time for your petty grievances. Macavity, do not go near Kerrik Wolf.”
The legendary flared. “You don’t tell me what to do. Nobody does. I am chaos incarnate.”
“Give it a rest. Nobody has ever accused you of being stupid, Macavity. Don’t start now.”
Macavity tossed her head proudly. “Why should I listen to you? What do you bring to the table that I might want?”
“Did you ever fight Typhonna to a standstill?”
Both cat legendaries gave Evangelion a puzzled look. “We know you did,” Macavity snapped. “What’s that got to do with the price of fish?”
Evangelion smiled mischievously. “Everyone but me runs and hides when her name is spoken. While I haven’t pushed the issue, I am easily the most powerful legendary today. Did it occur to you that thwarting my will might prove very, very fatal to you? And if I can find you here, I can find you anywhere. Leave Kerrik Wolf alone. I have claimed him. There are lots of other toys out there and, for several of them, taking one will cause a lot more confusion than bedeviling Wolf.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“Like I said, you’ve never been called stupid. Find another toy, Macavity, or I’ll find you.” Her eyes met Macavity’s. “Let me be plain. I will kill you if you interact with him in any way, either directly or through proxies. Am I clear?”
Macavity sneered. “If you’re interested in him, he’s probably boring as hell. I want a new toy!”
“What about Richardo Esprina?”
“Why would I want a churchman? They don’t have any sense of humor?”
“He announced he was the head of the whole church, something which is about as organized as the Brownian motion in a cup of water. Unless he’s insane, that shows he’s got a wonderful sense of humor. Why else would he think he’d be taken seriously? Even if he’s not funny, taking him would throw a lot of chaos into the world. Taking him would be a great joke.”
Macavity blinked and smiled suddenly. “I’ll have to think about that.” She vanished.
Sexmet folded her arms. “Why are you really here?”
“Wolf is the only reason I’m here. He’s evaluating Sanctuary as a threat.” Evangelion cracked her knuckles slowly. “Depending on what he finds, Sanctuary may find itself with a new enemy.” She smiled mirthlessly. “Their new foe could well be someone who is a very powerful and unrelenting enemy. I would think you’d welcome such an event.”
Sexmet’s eyes widened. “It’s a bit late, but I’ll take all the help I can.” She vanished as she teleported away.
Evangelion stood completely motionless for several minutes as she listened with her ears and also sampled her surroundings with less visible means of detection to make sure she was truly alone. Suddenly she shimmered and her form changed to that of a woman with long metallic golden hair and a horn in the middle of her forehead. Magdalene glanced to the west. “You may not be my husband, but sometimes you seem to cause as much trouble as he does. Jehane is going to enjoy you. Well, Macavity has been taken care of. I really hope she listens to me and has a survival instinct stronger than Jenova’s.” She opened a portal and stepped through it before it slid shut behind her.
***
Kerrik came out of the bathroom and looked at the clothes laid out on the bed. They weren’t there before he went in to shower. “Hey!”
Eve poked her head into the room. “What is it, Kerrik?”
“What’s this?”
She looked at the clothes. “I do believe that is clothing.”
“I take it celestials don’t do comedy.”
“It’s for you. Today is Sadie Pokens and you need to look nice.”
“I have this sudden urge to roll in shit and cover myself with flypaper.”
Dominique squeezed around Eve. “You’ll have to do the flypaper first or it won’t stick.”
Kerrik smiled slightly. “See, that’s actually funny.” He looked over the clothing and sighed. “You really want me to play along with this, don’t you?”
“Yes.” Eve settled on the edge of the bed next to the clothes. “Today is important.”
“Care to be less vague?”
She smiled and pulled his towel away from him. “I wish I could be. I know you detest it when I can’t give you details, but this time neither Scheherazade nor I have any for you.”
He began to dress. “I wasn’t serious about you having to improve me.”
“I know. However, a tamer reflects on his harem and you have a very special one indeed. Only a few tamers have nothing but celestial pokegirls, and now that Dominique has joined us, you’re one of them.”
“I’m still not sure how that happened. I am not a good person for celestial pokegirls. I’m not that good inside.” He shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about any of you. Not only would it be stupid, it wouldn’t be true. To me, you’re all people worth knowing.” He shook his head slowly. “You know, I’ve said that about less than twenty people in my whole life on my world. You ladies really are special to me. That’s one of the reasons I’m so hesitant about going someplace where people I don’t know at all get to decide who I spend time with.”
Dominique looked at Eve. “You’re right.”
He raised an eyebrow. “She often is. What is she right about this time?”
“You’re not worried that we’ll leave you.”
Kerrik stopped buttoning his shirt and gave her a thoughtful look. “For some reason I never considered it. Is anyone thinking about leaving?” He went back to buttoning, but concern suddenly glittered in his eyes.
Eve glared at Dominique. “Stop frightening him unnecessarily. No, nobody is planning to leave here.”
Kerrik looked at the Archmage. “Dominique?”
“I’m not going anywhere, silly. I like it here and I happen to be delta bonded to you. Trust me, if I don’t come back it’s because I was kidnapped and I need rescued.”
Eve nodded. “And we will rescue you. Now that you’re part celestial, the rules give you more latitude about certain things, like wanting rescued from abusive tamers.” She smiled slightly. “And if one of us says a tamer is abusive, he is.”
“Really?” Dominique grinned. “Very nice.”
The Megami-sama gave her a hard look. “Don’t go overdoing it. We’ve gotten the reputation of accusing abusive tamers by almost always accusing only abusive tamers. You blow that reputation and the Alliance will go mad with rage.”
Kerrik frowned. “Almost always?”
“The Celestial Alliance thinks the ends justify the means. That’s how they can sleep at night after sending innocent people to their deaths or manipulating the law to get a celestial into or out of their harem.” Eve looked like she wanted to spit. “Arrogant bitches, the lot of them.”
He finished dressing. “What’s for breakfast?”
Eve smiled. “On this day of all days pokegirls don’t do chores. You can either fix yourself something or we can leave now and you can get breakfast in Dublin.”
“That sounds like a copout to get out of your turn to cook.” His eyes narrowed. “Dublin? What’s wrong with here?”
“Dublin is a city and it’ll be easier for you to lose yourself in the crowds. Also, there your TTR will be below the local average and therefore most pokegirls will look elsewhere for a new home.” She gave him an amused look. “If you do the celebration here, you’ll have at least half a dozen new members. They’ve been watching you.” Her amusement vanished into an unhappy expression as old as humanity. “I’ve been watching them watching you.”
That was not a tone to argue with and he knew it. “Fine, we’ll go to Dublin.” He shook his head. “Since you’re not doing chores, do I get to walk?”
“You wish.” Eve grabbed Dominique by the hand. “Meet us in the kitchen in ten minutes and we’ll all teleport to Dublin.”
***
Kerrik watched the surroundings change and took another bite of his toast. “Welcome to Dublin, home of leprechauns, Catholics and blood knows what else.” He looked around. “How does this work, anyways?”
Scheherazade’s ears flicked. “You mean you don’t know?”
He rolled his eyes. “I was right. Celestials can’t do comedy, and I’ll miss it when Dominique loses her sense of humor. I know the generalities, but I’ve never cared for Sadie Pokens enough to explore the details.”
Dominique glanced at Eve and answered the question. “There are pavilions scattered throughout the city. You check in at one of them and they’ll update the records to show you attended and perform any necessary scans, although thanks to Eve you won’t need one. The festival officially opens at 0800 hours. At that point you give us our pokeballs and we go our separate ways. At twenty hundred hours the day officially ends and any pokegirls running loose become fair game for anyone participating to capture. That continues until 2200. For today, the city will be almost completely shut down except for the minimum necessary government services like police, medical and the fire department.” She smiled broadly. “Any civil service pokegirls cannot participate and will spend the day horny from all the pheromones. Because of this, they’ll be waiting to take out their frustration on anyone breaking the law. Tamer injuries during arrest rise dramatically on this one day.”
She waved a hand around them. “Most private businesses will be closed today, and there will be kiosks set up around the city providing free food, drink and alcohol. There are lots of drunken fights, stabbings and the occasional shooting. Needless to say, the police take a dim view of armed tamers today, which is why I strongly suggested that you leave your shotgun at home. Thanks, by the way, for listening to me.”
He shrugged. “You know this better than I do, so I value your advice.”
“There’ll be a lot of games and stuff for both pokegirls and tamers. Almost everything is free today and private shops that will charge for things have to have a special sign in their door to warn tamers not to accidentally shoplift. Pokegirls can ask to be tamed, but it’s recommended that you turn them down unless she’s likely to become violent about it. Then you yell for the Garda and try to keep her from killing you until they show up. There will be constant patrols of teams of two to four police and they’ve also got some tactical teams ready to deploy in case of trouble. Their plans are to take anyone causing problems down as fast as possible, so stay out of their way if they show up.”
“Where is my pokeball box going to be?”
Eve nodded in the direction of the city. “It’ll be in the pavilion where you register. We’ll go there after dark and see what you got.”
“Who.”
She blinked. “What?”
“We’ll see who I got, not what.”
“And that’s why you need to be here,” she said promptly. “Other tamers need to hear you talking like that.”
He snorted. “Other tamers need a boot to the head, with one for the wimp.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind. Which pavilion will we be going to?”
Dominique reached out and straightened his collar as she spoke. “I know how much you don’t like this, so we’re going to go to the pavilion which gets the least amount of traffic from tamers and pokegirls alike. There’s a sewage treatment center close enough to it that if the wind is right sometimes it gets a little ripe. Is that ok?”
He jerked his head towards Eve and Scheherazade. “Are you sure it won’t interfere with whatever they think is supposed to happen?”
“If something is supposed to happen, wouldn’t events make sure that I choose the place most likely to make whatever it is take place? If it’s not this area, then I should have decided to take you somewhere else based on some other criteria that I thought important.” She smiled when he looked surprised. “No, I’m not so celestial that I feel things the way they do, but I’ve listened to celestials talk a lot. Sometimes their discussions get so convoluted that they confuse themselves.” She patted him on the cheek as Eve scowled. “Remember, I have lived the last several decades working behind the scenes in the Blue League. I’ve seen things that nobody who hasn’t ever would.”
Kerrik cradled her face in his hands and kissed her thoroughly. “And I appreciate your insight more than I’ll probably ever be able to tell you.”
The Archmage’s crimson eyes were wide as he pulled away. “That’s an excellent way to start,” she breathed. She glanced at Eve. “I’m not sure it’s safe to leave him alone. If he kisses anyone else like that, she’s his.”
The Megami-sama shrugged. “I feel that he needs to be alone today. Maybe he’ll get tired of his privacy and stop trying to abandon us when he’s bathing.”
“I like to bathe alone sometimes if only so I won’t forget how to clean myself. I spend weeks where I don’t touch any portion of my body except my ass when I wipe it.”
Scheherazade barked a laugh and looked so astonished at the noise she’d made that she set everyone else off.
Dominique took his hand and tugged. “Let’s get you registered so we can get this started.”
***
The pavilion was a huge tent easily as large as the big tops he’d seen in circuses back home and was striped red and blue in a pattern that was almost dizzying. A sign over the door read “Tent 4”. The interior was divided up with walls of fabric ten feet high, making it cozier and more like a normal building than the temporary structure. Just inside the tent, a Gunvalkyrie stood at parade rest, her head swiveling as she scanned the interior of the structure.
There was a line of young men with a scattering of women in front of a folding table with a computer, pokedex reading dock, a cardboard box and a small printer sitting on it. Each of them had a pokegirl or two out, but they stood beside their tamer, pointedly not being in the line. Behind the table was a blonde woman wearing a comfortable looking suit dress. Pinned on her left breast was the symbol of the Blue League while on her right was a name tag that read Rosalind.
Scheherazade leaned over and stage whispered to Kerrik as she watched a tamer in the line try to surreptitiously scan Rosalind with his pokedex. “What kind of pokegirl is she?”
“She’s not.”
Ears flicked. “Oh.”
The line moved fairly quickly. Some tamers breezed through the process, occasionally being given a small box containing a league approved lock from the box on the desk. A handful of individuals were sent through a doorway in one wall. They were gone for a few minutes before coming back and getting back in line, this time at the very end. One who tried to muscle her way straight to the table was stopped by a few pointed words from Rosalind. She openly sulked as she moved to the end of the line.
Eve pointed at the doorway with her chin. “The tamers that go in there are the ones that haven’t been scanned yet. There’s a celestial or a psychic in there. Sending them away speeds the line for everyone else and making them go to the end of the line afterwards is a hint that next year they might want to get the scan done beforehand.”
“Since I’ve been scanned I don’t have a problem with the policy.”
“That’s good.” She tapped Dominique on the arm. “Take Scheherazade and wait over by the map of the tent. We’ll meet you there after he gets assigned a box.”
Dominique nodded. “Yes, my alpha.” She and the Dread Wolf headed for a colorful graphic display of the interior of the tent as seen from over head.
The line continued to move fairly quickly and soon Kerrik was at the front. Rosalind held out her hand. “Please give me your pokedex.”
Kerrik handed it over. “Here you go, Rosalind. I’m Kerrik Wolf, a tradesman and I’ve been scanned already by this Megami-sama. I have three pokegirls and we’ll all be participating in Sadie Pokens.”
Rosalind dropped his pokedex into the reader. It used a connection similar to a high speed USB port, but the connection opening was self closing when not in use to keep out dirt and water. She checked the computer as the printer extruded a flimsy of plastic. She pulled it out of the printer and peeled off a section which she stuck into a small machine next to the printer. It made a crunching noise and spat out a button badge. “Mr. Wolf, you’ll have collection box Yellow 13C. You can check the map over there to find out where it is located. Do you have an approved lock or do you need to purchase one from me?” Kerrik produced the lock he’d purchased on Eve’s advice from his pocket. Rosalind checked it over and handed it back to him along with his pokedex, the badge and the flimsy. “Thank you, Mr. Wolf. Insert this printout into the front of your box and have the attendant seal the box in your presence. Be sure and wear your badge wherever you go so pokegirls will know where to find your box. Enjoy your day.”
“Thank you, Rosalind. I hope your day goes smoothly.” He left the line and met the rest of his harem at the map. “I’m Yellow 13C.”
Scheherazade was looking the map over. She tapped a claw on it. “Yellow is at the back of the tent, through that hallway.”
Kerrik ignored the map. “Take us there.” The Dread Wolf obediently turned and headed for one of the fabric hallways, with Kerrik and the others trailing behind her.
Yellow section was easy to identify as the fabric composing the walls turned lemon yellow. A bored looking Nursejoy was sitting in a folding chair and reading something on a portable reader. She looked up when they came in. “Are you in yellow section?”
Kerrik nodded. “My box is 13C.” The Nursejoy got up. She was wearing a t-shirt which read: “I am a Civil Service Pokegirl. Touch me and you will spend Sadie Pokens Day in jail” on the front and back. Kerrik chuckled and she gave him a curious look. “You need that shirt for everyday wear.”
She smiled thinly. “Sir, truer words have never been spoken. Section 13 is over here and I’ll need you to start recording the proceedings as a record in case you have a complaint.”
Kerrik’s box was the same size as the rest of the ones in his section, which was fairly small compared to others he’d seen. The Nursejoy took his flimsy and slipped it into the holder on the front of the box. She opened the box and showed him it was empty before she took his padlock and sealed it shut, finishing up by spraying a plastic seal over the lock and stamping it with a heavy ring that she wore on a chain around her neck. “Sir, you have witnessed me putting your information on the front of your box, and you have also witnessed that I locked and sealed it.” She pointed to an entrance in the tent half a dozen yards away. “There’s the closest exit. Once the day officially starts, tamers won’t be allowed into the tent until after the closing ceremonies at twenty hundred hours. At zero two hundred hours tomorrow, any unopened boxes will be opened and the pokegirls inside placed in the tamer’s storage. There will be an 18000 SLC charge for this, even if the box is empty, so please be prompt about claiming your box’s contents. I hope everyone has a good day and finds what they want.” She turned and headed for her chair.
Kerrik turned to his ladies as he pulled his pokeballs from his belt. “I hope you have fun, but don’t forget to return before 8 PM. I’ll come get anyone who gets kidnapped, but I need at least one of you to return or I’ll have to start murdering tamers.”
Eve smiled as she tucked hers into her pocket. “Try to have some fun yourself.”
“I hate crowds, I hate stupid people and drunks and I hate the idea behind Sadie Pokens Day. It just so happens that I’ll be dealing with crowds of stupid drunks on Sadie Pokens. Once I get past all that, I should have a blast.” He shook his head when Eve winced. “Sorry. I shouldn’t take my wanting to be just about anywhere else out on you.”
“Even if I’m responsible,” she asked sadly.
“I’m trying to keep that out of my mind. You’re doing what you feel is right and I should respect your abilities. I’m trying to, really hard.”
The Megami-sama kissed him gently. “Thank you for that.”
Scheherazade hugged him hard enough to make him gasp. “If you get in trouble, use the delta bond to get in touch with me and I’ll be there in seconds.”
Dominique’s eyes narrowed. “Just you? That’s all he’ll need at that point. After being arrested for something that I can probably get dismissed without any records, much less charges, you’ll bust him loose from jail and he’ll have a whole slew of additional charges tacked on.” Scheherazade’s ears flattened as Dominique took Kerrik by the hand and kissed him quickly. “You call all of us. We’ve talked and you’ll be getting all three of us back at the end of the day, even if you don’t pick up anyone else.” She gave him an impish look. “So you’ll have to decide if you’ll keep all of us after going through your twenty rare pokegirls that you’ll pick up today.” Dominique grinned at his sudden look of horror. “I’m just kidding. I have no idea what you might get.” She frowned. “I mean who.”
Eve checked her watch. “Come on. We’ve got half an hour and Kerrik here can buy us a real breakfast before we leave him.” She started to turn away and stopped. “You haven’t put your badge on.”
Kerrik looked surprised. “I haven’t? Oh, crap.” He slapped himself in the forehead. “How could I be so stupid?”
“Kerrik.”
His eyes narrowed and his jaw muscles clenched. “Nobody takes that tone with me.”
Scheherazade pulled Eve away from him and cocked her head. “You need to wear it and you know you do. Please don’t aggravate Eve on this of all days.” Her tongue lolled in a grin. “You know how flighty these Megami are. She might throw herself in front of a bus or, worse yet, at another tamer.”
“I might do what?”
The Dread Wolf ignored her outburst. “Eve, you know better than to challenge him. I was there when our guests on the ship challenged him. They made him fight. It was his fighting that kept him alive for me. For us,” she corrected quickly. “He has never been successfully pushed. Tricked, cajoled and begged, yes, but whenever he gets pushed, he pushes back.”
Kerrik fished his badge out of his pocket and pinned it on his jacket. “There.”
Dominique shook her head. “Kerrik, it’s upside down.”
He didn’t look down. “So? It’s my gimmick.”
“Pokegirls who can’t read have enough problems figuring out where to go. Don’t add this to their troubles.”
He folded his arms. “Any pokegirl who is some kind of match for me will be literate. If she’s not, I’ll throw her back and the Awareness can try again.”
Eve started to reach for it and stopped. “Pokegirls who see it may assume certain things, such as you might be looking for girls with unusual senses of humor. Do you want Harlequins or their ilk in your box? May I fix it?”
He looked into her eyes for a long moment, his face expressionless. “You may.”
Eve removed the badge and pinned it correctly. “I’m sorry for snapping at you.”
“I’m sorry I reacted so poorly.”
Dominique smiled. “Now that we’re all friends again, we need to leave. Other tamers are coming in and if someone overhears us, they might cause trouble at our lack of respect for our majestic tamer.” She led them outside and looked at her watch. “That took so long that a breakfast isn’t going to happen, but he can still buy us breakfast tacos.”
“What are those?” Eve frowned.
Kerrik’s eyes lit up. “There’s a Mexican restaurant here? I love Mexican food. Tex-Mex is better, but Mexican is good too.”
“It’s a Sunny place, but yes. Rodrigo’s has the best Sunshine food in Dublin.” She grinned. “I thought you might like that.”
“What are we standing around for? Let’s go.”
***
He had to admit that although he knew it was coming, the klaxon that had announced the beginning of Sadie Pokens had startled him when it wailed. Kerrik watched his pokegirls disappear around the corner and tried to squelch the sudden spurt of fear that he’d never see them again. The delicious breakfast tacos he’d just finished suddenly sat like lead in his stomach and he deliberately forced his mind to consider something else.
It was just after eight and around him he could see pokegirls rushing around happily as they headed for food booths and gaming tents as fast as they could, zipping around the humans in their midst or, as he saw in the case of a lone Bunnygirl, smashing through one tamer in a stream of apologies. He did note that she didn’t come back to see if she’d hurt anyone.
Right now the vast majority of them wouldn’t be paying any attention to what kind of tamer they might want and for the moment he was safe from scrutiny. This gave him a chance to find a place to ride out the day without being bothered before anyone came looking for him. He hadn’t forgotten that something was supposed to happen today, but he didn’t see where he had to lie down for it. If something was supposed to happen, then it would just have to work harder to make it so.
He found an empty picnic table in an isolated area and promptly claimed it, climbing on top of the table and stretching out to soak up the wan sunlight. He chuckled suddenly. “Ok, I am lying down for whatever is coming, but this is comfortable.”
He’d fallen into a light doze when motion woke him up. He cracked one eye to see a pair of domestic Tigresses whispering to each other as they looked at him with hungry eyes. He decided to pretend to remain asleep and hope they left.
It didn’t work. The boldest of the pair stepped forward, her ears flicking slowly. “Sir?”
Kerrik managed to keep from sighing and sat up. “I don’t suppose you are lost?”
“Sir, where is your box at?”
“It’s at tent four, yellow section, box 13C.” An idea came to him as she started to smile. “I should warn you, though, that I have a three inch penis.”
Both pokegirl’s mouths dropped. “That’s impossible,” the one who had held back gasped.
“No, it’s not. The reconstructive surgery was almost a complete success and you really can’t see the scars. It even gets hard most of the time when I’m trying to have sex.”
“Yes sir.” Both pokegirls were edging away. “We have to be going.”
He nodded. “See you later, girls. Don’t forget where my box is.”
“We won’t.”
They fled and he fought not to laugh out loud as he lay back down. “Ok, now what else would scare off a horny pokegirl?”
A little while later he was disturbed by a Godiva. She looked him up and down before smiling. “Hi.” Her golden hair was curled in an artful plait that hung down below the knees of her hiking pants.
He put on a mournful look. “I don’t think you should bother. It wouldn’t work out. I have this fear of choking on hair and I have all the hair on my pokegirls permanently removed via electrolysis.”
Without another word the Godiva turned and walked away.
He chased off a young Unicorn by telling her that he always level fived all new girls to fix any problems they might have and a curious Mini-top by announcing that he was a vegan teetotaler intent on being zero impact on the environment and that he insisted all his pokegirls follow his environmentally conscious ways.
He’d almost fallen back asleep when he was disturbed by the arrival of a Ladyien who was accompanied by a Shadowcat, a Valkyrie and an Angel. It was obvious that they were all together and the thought of getting an entire harem in one day made his stomach roil uneasily.
The Angel sat down next to him and read his badge. “Hello, Master Wolf.”
He put on a cheerful smile. “Hi. I hope you are all having a nice Sadie Pokens.”
She smiled back. “We are. How many pokegirls do you expect to keep from your original harem?”
He shrugged. “Just one. The same one I started the day with, actually.”
“You seem nice enough. Would you like more pokegirls?”
Kerrik nodded. “I’d love them, but mother doesn’t ever think any pokegirls are good enough for me and they don’t stay long.”
A puzzled look appeared on the Valkyrie’s face. “Why would your mother’s opinion be important?”
He shrugged. “The alpha can wield a lot of power in a harem.’
The Angel started violently. “Are you saying that your mother is your alpha?”
“Yup. Dad didn’t want her. She does think my sister will be good for me, after she turns fifteen next month. That’ll be before the baby is born.”
Looks of disgust appeared on several faces. The Ladyien pursed her lips. “Sir, your sister is pregnant?”
“Oh, heavens no, mother is. My sister is still too young.”
Her face went wooden. “Your mother is the pregnant one. Isn’t she a pokewoman?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
The Angel’s fact took on a greenish cast. “I think we need to be going, girls.” She got up and quickly led them off.
Kerrik waited until they were gone before dissolving into quiet laughter. “I am so going to get a talking to from Eve. I’m just a bad, bad person.” He settled down and got comfortable again.
***
“Are you the crazy man?”
Kerrik jerked upright, surprised that he’d fallen asleep. Ever since the Angel and her harem had visited, he’d been too nervous to rest, worried that someone would come by and read his badge while he was sleeping. He swung around to see black eyes staring into his. He blinked and refocused to see a pale face framed by a shock of shiny black hair. Finally he realized that a cute ten year old girl was watching him curiously. “Am I what?”
“The pokegirls out there are all telling stories about this crazy guy who is on a picnic table. Are you him?”
He began chuckling as he checked his watch. “Am I the crazy guy? Wow, what a hard question to answer. What is your name? Why are you out wandering alone? Where is your family?”
The pokekit grinned unabashedly. “My name is Irena. I was told I was safe today and that I could play games and stuff. I have to be home before,” she paused and looked thoughtful before reciting in a singsong, her head bobbing with each syllable. “Twenty hundred hours.”
“And what time is it now?”
She blinked and pushed back the sleeve of her jacket to peer at her watch. She gave him a proud look. “Twelve hundred hours and fifteen minutes.” Kerrik frowned as his stomach loudly announced that it was lunchtime. The kit giggled. “Your stomach is growly.”
“It does sound like I need to get something to eat.” He slid off the table. “See you later, Irena.” He headed for the fairgrounds, only to stop when he realized that the girl had fallen in next to him. “Where are you going?”
“Silly man, I’m hungry too.”
“So you’re going home where your family can feed you?”
She shook her head. “I’m going with you.”
“You are way too trusting for your own good.”
“You wouldn’t hurt me,” she said confidently. “You’re a nice man.”
“What makes you think that?”
“You talk to me. Everyone else tells me to go away.” She grinned and made a curving motion near her chest. “They want boobies.”
“I’m sure they want more than that.”
“Uh huh. They want to,” she broke off and looked around before making a circle with the thumb and forefinger of one hand and repeatedly poking the index finger of her other hand through it. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “That.” Kerrik started to agree with her when she squealed. “Oooh! Funnel cake!” She grabbed his hand and tugged as she tried to run for the long line that snaked away from in front of the stand. Kerrik wanted something with more protein in it, but if she got sick it wasn’t his problem. Besides, he’d get his own food after she got some funnel cake. Then he could see about getting Irena home.
***
“Can I see your badge?” Irena gave him the cutest look she could. Kerrik had to admit that she had talent. It was an excellent try. However, the cutest looks he’d ever been given had been from a white Siberian Husky that he’d had as a pet, and they’d never worked on him. Still, Irena’s was almost as good.
He’d already noticed that since the table they’d chosen along with several others was surrounded by hungry pokegirls who weren’t necessarily happy about standing in line to get a meal, unattended food had a half life measured in seconds. Because of this, he didn’t want to put down his cheeseburger lest it become the victim of a marauding Growltit. He twisted around so she could see it. “There.”
She pouted. “I want to touch it.”
Pokegirls were starting to notice he wasn’t watching his chili fries. He’d stood in line with a funnel cake and powdered sugar induced hyper pokekit for twenty minutes for those fucking fries and he’d bite off fingers if anyone tried for them. “Take the damned thing off me then.”
Her eyes went wide. “You cursed.” She grabbed the button and twisted it off.
“Hey, don’t go tearing the fabric HANDS OFF BITCH!” Kerrik whipped around to snarl at a cute Ponytaur who was reaching for his fries. She stumbled backwards with a shocked look and for a few minutes they had an open space around their tiny table.
Irena giggled. “You’re funny.” Kerrik wolfed down his burger in three huge bites and she giggled again. “You shouldn’t eat like that, you could choke.”
He pulled the paper container of chili fries protectively between his arms and shrugged. “I didn’t have much choice. Some annoying little child was tearing my clothes.”
Her head twisted as she looked around before giving him an innocent look. “Where?” She reached out, plucked a handful of fries from the container and started licking the chili off of them. “This is good.”
“You had your funnel cake; two corndogs that I’m almost positive were made of kattle and a small plate of fried fish strips. These. Are. Mine.” He began shoving fries into his mouth. “Of course, the chili is probably kattle too.” He shook his head. “Stupid Goths should have stolen a herd of cows instead of me. They’d have the leagues surrendering for real beef.”
Irena had pinned the button on her jacket. “Now I’m a tamer,” she announced proudly.
Kerrik laughed. “And a prettier one has seldom been seen.”
“Your daughter is adorable.” It was a Denmother. She gave him a speculative look, ears up and alert. “Most tamers don’t have children.”
“Daddy’s not a tamer! I am!”
Kerrik smiled at the Denmother. “I’m not a tamer, not really. I’m retired and I brought my daughter here for some free food.”
The Denmother frowned. “You have a badge.”
“That? That’s a keepsake from my last Sadie Pokens as a tamer. I brought it so we wouldn’t be bothered. Why else would my little Irena be wearing it?”
The Denmother relaxed. “That makes sense. You should be careful, there are some cops roaming around near here and what you’ve done sounds like so much fun there’s probably a law against it. You’ve got a great dad, little girl.” She patted Irena on the head and moved on.
Irena watched the Denmother until she was gone and then turned around. “Was I good?”
“You certainly were.”
“Can I have some fries?”
Kerrik sighed and pushed the container at her. “Help yourself.”
She was running her finger around inside the container when a voice called out. “Irena! There you are!”
The kit looked up and licked her finger clean before she jumped out of her chair to run over and hug an older version of herself. “Mama!” They spoke for a minute before heading over to Kerrik.
Even though her colors were a bit off, Kerrik recognized the breed with the gift his arrival in this place had given him. Irena’s mother was a Night Nurse and a pokewoman. She looked him over without speaking before smiling slightly. “Thank you for taking care of Irena. I was starting to get worried about her.”
Kerrik shrugged. “It wasn’t a problem. I sometimes like kids and she’s a good one for the most part, although she has boundary issues. Most pokegirls seem to.”
She nodded and looked at Irena. “What do you say to the nice man?”
Irena put her hands behind her back and stood at attention. “Thank you, Kerrik.”
“Irena!”
She looked down and scuffed the ground with a shoe. “Sorry. Thank you, Master Wolf.”
“That’s much better.” The Night Nurse bobbed her head at him. “Thank you again. I know she can be a handful.”
Kerrik did what most adults would do in this particular situation. He lied. “She wasn’t any trouble. I hope you have a nice Sadie Pokens.”
“Thank you, I am.” She grinned. “I’ve had lots of people to stitch up. Now, I need to get Irena home.” Her daughter waved frantically as she was led off until the crowd swallowed them up.
Kerrik chuckled. “No problem at all. She kept me safe from roaming hordes of pokegirls.” He frowned and looked down. “That little thief took my badge.” A grin appeared. “Thank you, Irena.”
***
“How was your day?” Kerrik jumped as Eve appeared with Dominique. Scheherazade teleported in behind them seconds later.
“Didn’t we talk about you scaring me like that? Anyways, if I’d successfully dodged another horny pokegirl, I think I’d have to claim I managed to give myself a speed or agility enhancement.” The klaxon sounded and he jumped again. “Shit.”
Dominique gave him a worried look as somewhere nearby a pokeball capture tone sounded and pressed her pokeball into his hands. “Recover us!” Kerrik pushed the button and she vanished just before a pokeball sailed through the spot she’d occupied. A tamer cursed.
He recovered Eve next while Scheherazade roared a challenge and used her telekinesis to rip three incoming pokeballs to shreds. Then she too vanished into her capture beam as Kerrik pushed the button on her pokeball.
A tamer stumbled out of the semi-dark, his hand outstretched. “I caught her. Give her to me!”
“Do you have any idea who I am?”
“I don’t give a fuck who you are. Give me my pokegirl!”
Kerrik kicked him in the nuts as hard as he could. The tamer screamed and dropped to his knees as he cradled his groin. Kerrik pushed him onto his back with a foot and stepped between his legs. Then he kicked the tamer in the groin again, stepping forward to put his full weight into the kick. The tamer shrieked in a high pitched voice and threw up as Kerrik calmly walked into the darkness and disappeared. He lost his way a couple of times and had to backtrack, but finally he ended up at tent four.
He stopped in front of the Gunvalkyrie who was still standing sentinel over the entranceway. “Excuse me, but I have a question.”
She looked at him for several seconds. “Is there an emergency somewhere, sir?”
“No, but my question is security related since I’m trying to avoid an emergency. The free-for-all capturefest is still going on outside this tent and I want to know if it’s safe to release my current harem here.”
A tiny frown appeared. “How would that be a security issue, sir?”
“If anyone tries to take my pokegirls, they’re going to need prompt hospitalization and then I’m probably going to spend several hours talking to some police about the incident. It’s not my idea of a fun way to end the evening.”
There was a chuckle from behind him and Kerrik turned to see a Jigglyslut wearing a Garda uniform. “It wouldn’t be my idea of a fun evening either, sir. The tents are always off limits to tamers trying to capture more pokegirls.” Curiosity filled her face. “Why aren’t you out there?”
“I’m content with my harem as it is. I’ll try to accept any pokegirl that put her pokeball into my box because she thinks she wants to be with us, but I don’t think grabbing passing pokegirls is part of the foundation of a good relationship with them.”
The Jigglyslut looked surprised as he pulled his pokeballs from his belt. “That’s an interesting attitude, sir.”
He pressed the button on one of them. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a parity nut. Too many pokegirls don’t want parity. I just think a tamer should treat his pokegirls no better or worse than he’d treat himself.”
Dominique grinned as she materialized. “We’d prefer you treated us better.”
“I already do, but it’s got a really serious ulterior aspect to it since all of you protect my life.” He released Eve and Scheherazade before nodding to the Jigglyslut. “Thank you, officer.” He turned to the Gunvalkyrie. “And thank you as well.”
Eve slipped her hand into the crook of his arm as the Jigglyslut returned to patrolling the interior of the tent. “Did you have any problems getting here?”
He shook his head. “Nothing worth mentioning.”
He’d come in the wrong entrance and so they had to wend their way through the tent walls to the yellow section. The Nursejoy looked up from where she was opening a different box while the owner watched. “I have to open your box while you witness and I’ll be with you in just a second, sir.”
“No hurry.” He turned to Eve. “Did you ladies have fun?”
She nodded. “We did. We stayed around until 1600 and got some extra meals for dinner and went home.”
Scheherazade hugged him. “I won a life sized stuffed kattle. It’s really neat.”
Dominique scowled. “Things only got dicey when we got back to the house. We nearly got mobbed by your collection of wannabe harem girls who wanted to know where you were.” The scowl became a cheerful grin. “They were devastated that you were here.”
“How many would I have gotten?”
“At least an even dozen.” She shuddered. “I don’t want the Bunnygirl triplets anywhere near my front door; much less have them in my lab.”
Kerrik shook his head. “All right, Eve, you were right.”
“What was that? Could you say that louder? I don’t think I heard that correctly.” Eve grinned when he just gave her a flat look.
A loud yell of joy interrupted them and they turned to see the tamer almost doing cartwheels over the five pokeballs that he’d been given by the Nursejoy. She came over and paused in front of them. “I can help you now, sir.” She frowned. “Where is your badge? I need it to verify your identification.”
Eve turned and gave him an unhappy look and he held up his hands. “I didn’t take it off. A pokekit took it.” He handed the Nursejoy his pokedex. “Of course, this means I don’t have it and so you’ll have to use this to double check, even though I can see from here that my picture is on the door of my box.”
The Nursejoy smiled. “And you could be a Titto pretending to be you.” She raised her voice. “I need an ID!”
Another voice came back. “I’ll be right there.” A Seraph bounded into the air from a different part of the tent and feathered to a soft landing in front of the Nursejoy. “What is it, Tandy?” She was carrying a small computer on a chest harness.
“This nice tamer lost his badge” the Nursejoy plugged the pokedex into the computer, “so I’ve got to verify his identity.”
The Seraph looked them over. “He’s got three celestial pokegirls. Although I don’t recognize the fox type, she is blessed just like the Dark Elf is. He can’t be that bad.”
Dominique turned away from the Seraph so the fighting type couldn’t see the sudden grin on her face.
Tandy pulled the pokedex free. “Thank you, Laurie.”
“Welcome.” Laurie spread her wings and was gone.
The Nursejoy handed the dex back to Kerrik. “Please begin recording again.” She held up the lock as he aimed the pokedex at her. “The lock is undamaged and the seal is complete.” She cut the seal. “I’ll need your key.” Once it had been given to her, she opened the lock and held the door wide to reveal the interior walls. They were a pale lime color. “Please note that the interior is all green, indicating that nobody has phased through the walls. If someone had, the coating on the wall would react and change color to white.” She reached into the box and removed a red and white sphere. “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but you only have one pokeball.”
She gave him a commiserating smile that turned to vague confusion at his look of delight. “Just one? That’s great. Thanks, Tandy.” He took the ball and offered it to Eve. “Is this her?”
His alpha glared at him. “How should I know?”
“You’re the great and powerful Megami-sama.” Tandy choked off a cough that sounded suspiciously like a smothered laugh. “You told me I needed to come here today for something. The day is over and unless I’m supposed to be here for Tandy, this has to be her.” The Nursejoy went white and abruptly left. “I guess it wasn’t Tandy.” He turned the ball until he held it properly and triggered the release. “Come out, whoever you are.”
The pokegirl who appeared stood an even six foot and so looked down at him, and her black eyes seemed to glow against the whiteness of her face. Her hair was midnight black and fell past her shoulders. She was wearing jeans and a zipped up jacket, the right breast of which had a yellow button on it. “Hello.” Her voice was soft and sultry.
Kerrik stared at the button. “That’s my Sadie Pokens badge.” His eyes flicked up to hers as they narrowed. “Irena had it. You’re also a Night Nurse and you look like her, only older. Are you one of her sisters?”
“No, I’m not. I’m Irena.”
Kerrik folded his arms. “Scheherazade, stand ready. As for you, I know pokegirls mature quickly, but this is a bit much. Try again.”
Scheherazade moved between Kerrik and the Night Nurse as Dominique slipped behind her. The Night Nurse held up her hands. “Don’t attack. I’m telling the truth. I’m Irena.” Her body shimmered and suddenly she was the pokekit he’d spent part of the afternoon with. “I’m cursed to be a chibi pokegirl.”
“You did a pretty good pokekit this afternoon. Why the act?”
She resumed her adult form. “I’m seventeen and my family has used my power to keep me from having a tamer, but it’s time I finally had one. The tamers who actually want chibi pokegirls are all closet pedophiles and I don’t want to be with someone like that. So I went looking for someone who would treat me like a person.”
“I treated you like a kid.”
“Yes, you did, but you treated me like a human child, not a pokekit, and you never looked at me with lust. I think you’d treat any kid that way. I watched you be polite to everyone, human or pokegirl, who deserved it. That’s why you were acting like you were crazy, isn’t it? You were trying to keep everyone at arm’s length so they couldn’t see how nice you are. You weren’t even creeped out or attracted to Mother, and she was a little put out at how little you reacted to her.”
Kerrik waved a hand. “I’m surrounded by beautiful women. One more isn’t that impressive, especially when I know nothing about her personality.”
Irena nodded. “And that’s what’s special about you. Most tamers wouldn’t care about her personality. They’d only be concerned about what Mother could do for them or what they could do to her. You even managed to impress her, and nobody has done that since Dad died.” A smug look crossed her face. “Fortunately I saw you first and she respects that.”
Eve shook her head. “We may be going on a suicide mission.”
Irena shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I threw my lot in with Kerrik and I’m here until the end.”
“I thought you wanted a smart one.” Dominique smirked at him from behind Irena. “She doesn’t sound that bright.”
Irena gave her a scathing look over her shoulder. “I’m a pokegirl. My tamer is supposed to be my brains so I don’t have to be bright. I can read and write and I know a lot about medicine. I can cook and I’ve been camping so I have an idea what to expect in the wilderness.”
Scheherazade chuckled. “She’s got a bad attitude. That, at least, would fit right in with the rest of us.”
Kerrik looked thoughtful. “I know that Night Nurses normally don’t have a problem with celestial pokegirls, but having two and a half celestials and an infernal is going to raise some eyebrows.”
Irena’s shoulders slumped slightly. “What are you going to do with me? Will you send me back to my family?”
“I never said I was going to turn you away.” Kerrik came over and took her hand. “You volunteered to join us and I can respect that kind of leap of faith. I just said your being with us is going to make some people wonder what’s going on.”
She looked into his eyes and let hope fill her voice. “What will you say when they ask about it?”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass what others think about me or my pokegirls. If you want to stay, you can.”
“Can I be a little girl most of the time? It’s more comfortable for me than being like this.”
Kerrik grinned. “You can if you want to. Hey, that cute little girl bit fooled me and it’ll work on a lot of other people.” His smile vanished. “It probably won’t work on our enemies, but if you’re the only survivor it might get them to keep you instead of killing you.”
“If there’s going to be killing, you’re going to need a healer. Mother says I’m really good at healing. I can also fight.”
Eve’s voice was grim enough to make Irena’s eyes widen. “That’s good, because you’ll get to do both before this is over.”
Kerrik Wolf - Tradesman
Eve - Megami-sama (alpha)
Dominique - Archmage
Scheherazade - Dread Wolf
Irena - Night Nurse