Disclaimer:
This work is fiction. The work has no relationship with any person existing at any time anywhere whether real or imaginary or copy written. Everything in this work is mea culpa.
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I've taken my fun where I've found it,
An' now I must pay for my fun,
For the more you 'ave known o' the others
The less will you settle to one;
An' the end of it's sittin' and thinkin',
An' dreamin' Hell-fires to see;
So be warned by my lot (which I know you will not),
An' learn about women from me!
The Ladies – Rudyard Kipling
Chapter 7
“When it broke apart, there were essentially two Roman Empires. There was the one based in Italy, in the city of Rome, and one in the east. The city of Byzantium became the capital of the eastern Roman Empire. It was a place of intrigue and politics that was very complex and difficult for outsiders to understand. The word Byzantine came to mean deviously complex because of that.”
Carol’s eyes were bright with interest. “Winston, you tell the best stories. You make it so interesting.” They were riding in the back of the truck while Alice drove. The sisters were riding with Paul and Deirdre in the RV behind them.
Alice pulled to a stop and called out the open window. “There it is, the Matheson Winery and Vineyard.” She gave a low whistle. “Take a look at that truck.”
Winston hopped to his feet and looked over the cab. They’d been slowly moving up the private drive servicing the Winery which ended in a small parking area that was tucked into a stand of old growth trees. One of the spaces was taken up by a pickup that looked like it had been thrown off a cliff, carried back to the top and tossed off again.
Glass shards littered the ground around the vehicle. The cab of the truck had been pounded almost level with its body. The tires had been shredded and curved inwards as if something massive had driven them inwards with massive blows. The sidewalls of the bed had been dented and smashed. Something had driven tremendous holes into the hood of the truck and a line of oil snaked from under the truck into the grass at the edge of the parking lot.
The tree next to it looked little better. Its limbs were splintered and broken on the side the destroyed truck was nestled against.
Winston leaned over the side of the truck. “Radio Paul and tell him to move closer to us. That looks like something a pokegirl might do, right?”
Alice nodded. “I’ll put us on the other side of the lot from it just to be safe.” She reached for the radio as she pulled forward slowly. Once the truck was stopped, Carol hopped out of the bed on the passenger’s side while Winston jumped out on the driver’s side.
While he was still in the air, the tree they were next to twisted and hit him with a large limb, smashing him along the side of the truck. He gasped as sharp pain clawed at his chest.
The tree smashed a limb though the front window of the cab. Alice had already teleported out of the tree’s reach. “WINSTON!”
Carol ran around the back of the truck and grabbed him, throwing him over her shoulder as she retreated. He tried to scream, but the pain in his chest wouldn’t let anything out. He gasped again and blew bloody bubbles down the Onyx’s back.
Suddenly, Glinda was there, dragging him off Carol’s back and laying him quickly on the ground. Expert hands felt down his body and pain stabbed again. “He’s got a punctured lung. Hold him down.” Strong hands pushed his shoulders flat. Glinda pressed both hands against his sternum. Winston tried to struggle, scream, anything, as the pain mounted.
Suddenly it was gone. “Roll him on his stomach.” Rough hands turned him over and Winston started coughing blood. “That’s it, get it all out.” Glinda pressed an ear against his back when his coughing fit subsided. “Deep breath. Winston. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly.” He did, fighting the urge to cough again. She made a satisfied noise. “He’s going to be ok.”
Winston went back to coughing as he heard Carol. “I’ve pulled the trailer free and moved it out of reach of any trees. Now, I’m off for the truck.” There was a chuckle. “The trailer wasn’t damaged, but the chickens sound like the world is ending.”
Alice touched Winston’s hand. “For him, it almost did. I only know of a couple of pokegirls with that kind of power. Any of them would make running the vineyard much easier.”
Winston slowly sat up. “Not to mention she’d make defending this place much easier.” His voice rasped and he sounded weak. Tattypoo grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. He glared at her and swayed, but remained upright.
She grinned. “I think you’ll do.”
“That’s good to hear. Now, I need to decide if you will as well.” All three pokegirls looked stunned at his words. “Thank you, Glinda.”
The Sorceress gave him a wary look but returned his smile, if a little weakly. “You’re welcome. You’ll need to rest and eat something. You were pretty badly hurt and healing often takes an additional toll.”
Winston finally gave in to his curiosity. “You all look like I’ve just announced there’s no ice cream at a family barbeque. What did I say?”
Tattypoo cocked her head. “Would you really turn me away if you decided you didn’t need me?”
He straightened slowly, feeling the tightness in his chest. “You were insinuating that I might not be good enough for you. If you are evaluating me for fitness then, for damned sure, I’ll do the same to you.”
The Enchantress blinked. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Then you might want to choose your words more carefully in the future.” Winston took a deep breath and fought off another coughing jag. “I didn’t particularly appreciate it and I struck back. I apologize for my words.” He carefully stressed the “I”.
Tattypoo’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t make it a practice to apologize to people for my actions.”
Winston nodded. “Then you’d be more careful about insulting people, hadn’t you?”
Her face went carefully blank. She bowed from the waist. “You are correct, Winston. I apologize for hurting your feelings.”
“Thank you. I realize we haven’t been together long and I’m sorry if I’m snappish.” He sighed. “The last six months have been a lot to go through. For the record, I’m glad you and Glinda are here. If it wasn’t for Glinda, I’d be dying right now. I’ll try not to be so antagonistic.”
Tattypoo nodded. “You never answered my question.”
He frowned. “You’re absolutely right, I didn’t. I realize that pokegirls need humans. If we can’t work together, I’ll help you find someone that you can work with. I’m not going to just throw you out on your ear. However, other than your smart mouth, I haven’t found anything about you that I can’t live with.” He smiled shyly. “Hell, I’ve got three beautiful women sharing my bed. For a teenager like me, before everything happened, I would think that I had died and been allowed into teenager heaven.”
Alice flicked her ears. “And right now?”
“It’s still wonderful being with you three, just not perfect.” Winston took Tattypoo’s hand and squeezed gently. “I buried them, but I still miss my family.” A sigh. “I have a new one now and, like most of them, sometimes we’re going to spat. Let’s go catch that pokegirl and bring her into the family.”
“Paul’s.” Glinda gave him a firm look. “You still have to get to know us and he’s not here to say no. She goes to Paul. I don’t want to have to share any more of you than I have to.”
Tattypoo watched Carol as the Onyx blinked but remained silent. She smiled and nodded at her. “Wise move.”
Carol shrugged. “Deirdre and I don’t have yours and Alice’s libidos. We have more room in our family. Besides, if she’s going to be helping here, that only makes sense. Eventually you’ll be on the road a lot.”
Winston frowned. “Speaking of Paul, where is he?”
Alice pointed behind him. “Over there, being safe.” The RV was halted on the road, well clear of any trees.
Winston coughed again, producing more blood. “He’s likely to live longer than we are,” he noted quietly when the fit had passed. “Carol, would you help guard the RV? We need to get used to working together.”
She nodded. “As you command.” She flashed a quick smile. “Boss.”
He sighed and watched her stride off. “I’ll need my rifle. It’s in the truck.”
Glinda lifted his head and looked into his eyes. “Why don’t you let us do this?” She kissed him gently. “That’s what we’re here for. You being our eyes will be more help than if we’re spending our time worrying over your fragile butt. It’s cute and I don’t want to see you get hurt if you don’t have to.”
Winston sighed. “Crap.”
Alice hugged him. “That means you agree, right?”
“No, but I realize she’s right.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “Letting you girls protect me is going to take some getting used to. I am used to taking care of myself.”
Tattypoo nodded. “I respect that. I respect far more, however, the fact that you’re willing to listen to reason. And, as our eyes, you’re also helping to take care of us.” She handed him the binoculars and a radio. “We’ve got ours. Now, let’s find you a good place to be our lookout. How about the roof of the warehouse?” She pointed towards the winery. “That’s the tallest thing around.”
Winston gave it a dubious look. “I don’t think I’m up to climbing much right now.”
“You don’t worry about it.” Tattypoo took his arm and teleported, coming out on top of the winery. “I’ll take care of that.”
Winston swallowed hard and carefully walked to a good vantage point. “That’s quite a neat trick. If I’m supposed to be your eyes, I’m going to need to know more about what you can and can’t do.” He smiled. “I know right now’s not a good time for that.”
Tattypoo nodded. “Move slowly and keep your eyes open. Oh, and don’t get eaten by a flying pokegirl.” She vanished.
“I really should have brought my rifle.” He looked out over the fields of grapes for a minute and picked up the radio. “Ladies, I’d like you to stay near where we were for a little bit, if you don’t mind.”
Alice’s voice came back. “If you’re going to be our leader, give orders, not requests.”
He glared at the radio briefly. “Ladies, head back to the truck and stay near it until I tell you to.”
“Why?” Tattypoo sounded amused.
“You don’t get to question orders, just requests.”
There was silence for a moment. “Yessir.”
Winston realized that telling them why might help in the long term and keep them from deciding to boycott his bed in the short term. “I want to see if I can spot anyone or anything moving around and the three of you need to be still while I do that.”
“That’s a good idea. Let us know when we’ve been released to hunt,” Alice replied over the radio. “You heard him, sisters. Back to the truck.”
Winston spent a moment soaking in everything around him; absorbing the way things were supposed to be. Then he eased forward to the edge of the roof and just watched, slowly rotating his head and waiting for whatever didn’t belong.
Close to a half hour passed before he saw it. She was very good, but she was moving against the wind and he finally noticed the motion of the grape vines as she worked with them. Carefully, he lifted the binoculars to his eyes.
The second thing he noticed about her was the way she looked. Bronze skin gleamed in the afternoon sun and her jade green eyes glowed with suppressed power over full ruby lips that curved into a half smile. Her hair was the color of summer hay and hung almost to her knees. She was wearing a sheer flowing gown that was the exact color as the grape leaves around her, a plunging neckline in the front stopped just above her nipples. She was magnificent and, for a heartbeat, he envied Paul.
That was what he noticed second. What he noticed first, as he focused the binoculars on her, was that she was staring right at him, her eyes cool and disturbingly neutral.
She gave a tiny wave in his direction and slowly smiled when he waved back. Her mouth quirked and she pointed downwards. He made an exaggerated shrug and she stopped what she was doing and moved quickly towards the house.
“I’ve been spotted and she’s headed towards me,” he muttered into the radio. “Strangely enough, she waved at me.”
Alice responded. “It may be that she’s not completely feral, but don’t take any chances with her. We’re moving to get behind her.”
Winston gave the radio an annoyed look. “You never retrieved my weapons, remember? What am I supposed to do, pee on her?”
There was a moment of shocked silence. “Just remain calm.”
The pokegirl stopped about ten yards from the house and cupped her hands before calling to him. “Come down off the roof.” She had a pretty voice, but the tone was all business.
“I can’t. I didn’t get up here without help and I’m not going to get down without help.”
The pokegirl raised her hands and shards of wood spat from them to blast over his head. She smiled. “I don’t care how you got up there and I don’t care how you get down, but down you are going to come.” Her head cocked. “You aren’t like the others and I just want to talk to you.”
“Give me just a minute.” Winston keyed his radio. “Tattypoo, come get me. She says she wants to talk and is threatening to get me off the roof however necessary,” he said quietly. “Alice, I want you and Glinda to keep moving up behind her and be ready to take her down.”
“Roger.” Tattypoo appeared next to him. She looked him over briefly before focusing on the pokegirl. “Ah, you’ve got an ElfQueen.” She took his hand and kissed his cheek. “We’re going to have to do something about your tendency to find trouble whenever you are alone.” They vanished, only to reappear several yards from the strange pokegirl.
The ElfQueen looked Tattypoo up and down. “What are you?”
Tattypoo smiled slowly. “I’m an Enchantress. This is Winston Archer.”
She nodded. “Winston, I’m very glad to see that you aren’t like the others.”
“You mentioned that before. What others?”
“After I decided to make this my home, some people showed up. They weren’t causing any harm so I let them be. They only wanted the wine that was stored here.” Her eyes narrowed. “But that wasn’t enough. They got drunk and started building fires. That’s when I acted.” She smiled. “Now, they feed the grapes.”
“Later, other people came; from the city, I think. They had guns and they tried to hurt me. I fed them to the grapes as well.” She clasped her hands behind her back. “Why are you here?”
Winston swallowed hard. Fed to the grapes? This woman was creepy. “My friend and I have been given this land by the local government. We intend to put the winery into production and I’m supposed to be hunting pokegirls and giving them to responsible people to care for.” He frowned. “Well, Paul intends to put the winery into production again. I’ll be the one catching feral pokegirls.”
The ElfQueen gave him a speculative look. “So, you won’t be working here?” She nodded abruptly. “I’d like to meet this Paul. Perhaps it might be that we could get this place working together.”
Winston bowed slightly. “I would be honored to introduce you to Paul and I think he’ll be eager to work with you.” A question popped into his mind. “Do you know what’s going on with the trees at the parking lot?”
She smiled mysteriously. “I asked them to drive off intruders after the first two groups came here. It’s kept me from having to kill anyone else. I don’t like to kill, but sometimes pruning is necessary to improve overall health.”
“I suppose you’re right.” Winston was suddenly glad Paul was going to be working with her. He wondered how many other psychotic pokegirls were out there. In a sudden epiphany, he realized that she was right. Sometimes killing was necessary to make things better, but he’d do his damnedest to kill only when absolutely sure that was the only way. “Would you like to meet Paul now?”
She smiled. “If this is going to be your new home, then yes.”
“It is.”
***
The man in the dark blue suit leaned back and tried to ignore the howl of the aircar’s engines. He touched the intercom. “What’s our ETA?”
The pilot glanced back at him through the partition, his face anonymous in his opaque black helmet. “Ten minutes, sir.”
“Good.”
When the aircar started its descent, he sighed in relief. He could see the place when the aircar slowed to a hover. He grimaced and touched the intercom again. “What is it?”
“Company, sir.” The pilot motioned to a pink haired woman who floated in front of the car. She tapped a radio on her belt and held up a small card that had a frequency printed on it.
The man in the dark blue suit tapped into the pilot’s com system out of curiosity. The pilot spoke first. “Ok, I’m on your freq. What is it?”
The pokegirl smiled. “What’s your business in this area?”
The man in the dark blue suit touched his mike. “I am Undersecretary Brandon Davidson. I’m here from the Capital League and I’m here to see Winston Archer.”
The girl nodded. “I want you to fly that way,” she pointed. “You will land only on the landing pad. It’s a large square of concrete that has the words “Landing Pad” painted on it. If you land anywhere else, you’ll be walking home.”
“You can’t confiscate a League vehicle,” the man in the dark blue suit snapped.
The pokegirl sneered. “Who would want that POS? If you don’t use the landing pad, Priss will destroy your aircar. She’s tired of people damaging the roses.” She grinned nastily. “If you do land somewhere else, just to be a dick, I’d unass that thing toot sweet. Otherwise she might not wait for you to get out. She’s been in one of those moods.” With a laugh, the pokegirl accelerated away, heading towards the winery.
Davidson heard the pilot mutter to himself. “All righty, the landing pad it is.” A few minutes later they were on the ground, listening as the engines spun down.
A middle aged man was standing a safe distance away and he waited as Davidson climbed out of the vehicle, straightened his suit and grabbed his briefcase. The man was wearing faded jeans and a t-shirt which read “Archer Winery – Tactical Unit”. Davidson headed his way. “I need to meet with Winston Archer and I want to lodge a protest against that pokegirl. She’s obnoxious.”
The man nodded. “That she is. Chloe is a Neo Iczel and they have a tendency towards obnoxiousness. She’s only impressed by a mirror. So, who are you and what do you want?”
Davidson glanced over as a couple of Drow Zees went by. They paid him no mind and somehow that irritated him. “Is Chloe yours?”
The man grinned. “No, she’s Evan’s friend.”
“I am Capital League Undersecretary Brandon Davidson.”
“Hi.” The man bowed slightly. “So which one are you?”
“Excuse me?”
“The Capital League has many Secretaries; so it only goes to reason that it has even more Undersecretaries. Which department do you hail from?”
“I am from the Department of Internal Security.”
“Ah. They’re the ones working to coordinate the police forces across the League.” The man nodded. “This way.” He led Davidson inside the house and to a small office that was dominated by bookshelves and a neat desk. “Have a seat.” He dropped into the chair behind the desk. “How can I help you?”
Davidson blinked and then glared. “You’re Archer?”
“If I’m not, then he’s going to be pissed at me for sitting in his chair.” Winston leaned back. “Would you like some refreshments?” He smiled. “We make some nice wines.”
Davidson nodded. “Please.” Archer wines, while not world renowned, were well known in the League itself. A short time later, he was sipping contentedly as the tension from the flight drained away.
“Now, you didn’t call ahead and make an appointment, so I’m curious as to why you’re here.” Winston smiled. “You almost missed me. I’ll be leaving in two days on a hunting trip.”
“Aren’t you a little old to be an active Tamer?”
Winston sighed. “I’m forty two and, if I need to hear that particular conversation, I can call my son. That just happens to be one of his favorites. I ask again, why are you here?”
“Mr. Archer, you’ve been working here for nearly thirty years, catching troublesome pokegirls and finding them Tamers. Now it’s time for you to help the League as a whole.”
“I thought I was.”
The door opened and a bunny pokegirl came in. She was wearing shorts and a t-shirt that said she also was part of the tactical unit. “Winston, you wanted to see me?”
He motioned towards Davidson. “This is Undersecretary Davidson, from the League. Mr. Davidson, this is Alice.”
Davidson shook hands with the SnuggleBunny. “Are you his alpha?”
“She’s my wife.”
Davidson frowned. “Pokegirls can’t marry. It’s against League policy.”
“Yeah, they keep telling me that.” Winston shrugged. “I don’t give a shit. I’m not a Tamer and I don’t have a harem. I’m a husband and I have a family.”
Alice smiled sweetly as she settled comfortably onto Winston’s lap. “If you’re here for a reason, I would suggest you drop this argument. Winston’s not going to change his mind.”
Davidson decided this wasn’t the time or the place, but he’d remember this when he wrote up his report. He replied to Alice. “I’m here because the League needs your Tamer. He’s got more experience than any two other people in the League and we need to put that knowledge to use.”
“If you wanted to hire me to take care of a problem, all you had to do was call.” Winston watched him carefully. “But that’s not it, is it?”
“No.” Davidson opened his briefcase. “Right after you got established here, you set up a website where you set up a pokegirl index. It’s been a godsend for the police forces across the league.”
“World,” Alice said quietly. “We get requests for information from every league out there.”
“That too.” Davidson smiled. “Well, the fact is that you’ve managed to put together what has become the website for pokegirl data. But we’re starting to have labs that have been producing a lot of new information that needs to be promulgated; most of them are reluctant to share. That’s where you come in.” He pulled out some papers and put them on Winston’s desk. Winston eyed them like they had teeth. “We want to formalize your, Pokedex, I believe it’s called, and put the official Capital League stamp on it. Further, we want you to collate information from these “Pokegirl Researchers” as they’re being referred to now and update your site with their findings.” He put a single piece of paper on top of the pile. “What we’re offering is a position within the League, helping us to help mankind.” He smiled. “If you’ll look, you can see that the salary offered is very generous for the small amount of work you’ll be required to do.”
“Let me get this straight. You want me to ride herd on a bunch of cantankerous old men who don’t like each other; convince them to cough up their data which is more precious to them than their own blood; and collect it on my website without offending any of them.”
“I don’t see why you have to categorize it as such; but, essentially, that is what we want you to do.”
“You don’t want much, do you?”
Winston glanced at the paper without touching it and then at Alice, who looked and snickered. “We make more hunting,” she said. She took the paper and lined out the price before writing a new number on it and handing it back. “That will do nicely.”
Davidson blinked in shock. The new number was significantly higher than his initial offer. More importantly, he’d been empowered to negotiate the salary and the number this Bunnygirl had written down was the maximum he could offer down to the centicredit. Unnerved, he stared at her briefly. “Um, sure.”
Winston looked at her questioningly and she smiled cheerfully in reply. “We’ve been trying to get you to retire for a while. Win, you’ve got your daughters and the twins out there doing your work now. This just happens to be good work, too, and it’s needed for all of us.”
He sighed. “So you’re going to trot out that hoary old argument again aren’t you? Of course you are,” he answered his own question. “You know I’m a sucker for it.” She just beamed back at him. He turned back to Davidson. “You’ll pay for the website, but I’ll maintain control over it. I won’t have some, person,” he almost snarled, “censoring the truth about pokegirls just because it’s inconvenient.”
“Done.” Davidson nodded. “We may have to classify some things and keep them out of the public domain, but everything will be there for those with a need to know.”
Winston looked mulish for a moment then nodded. “I agree that sometimes knowledge needs to be doled out carefully. It is, after all, power.” He frowned. “You realize eventually we’re likely to clash over what needs to be classified and what doesn’t.”
Davidson nodded again. “I know. We’ll work it out when it happens.” He nodded to the paper. “If you’ll just sign, we’ll get the ball rolling.”
Winston took a deep breath and reached for the sheet.
***
“I’d never heard it put that way before.” Raul looked at the pokegirl who’d be his alpha someday. “So, it all really started here.” He motioned out over the vineyard.
The pokegirl grinned. “Well, that depends. If you believe in the steady state theory of the universe, it didn’t really start anywhere; but, if you’re a believer in the big bang, then it still didn’t all start here. Just part of it.”
“Does everyone find you so annoying, Tattypoo?”
“Yes, they do. It’s part of my charm.” The Enchantress smiled softly. “I’ve been part of your family for close to three hundred years and, except for Winston, they’ve all asked that question.”
“So what did I do to deserve you?” Raul chuckled as she gave him the look. “I know, I was born first. So what happened to Paul? How come there aren’t any of his descendants around?”
“The Bloody Flu sterilized most of the women. What isn’t widely known is that it also sterilized less than one percent of the men alive at the time, too. Paul was one of the unlucky ones.” Tattypoo shook her head. “It hurt him for a while but the truth is he would have been a bad father. His first love was the winery.”
“So what happened to Deirdre, Carol and Priss?”
Tattypoo grinned and waved to Glinda as she joined them. “You can ask Priss yourself if you want, since the ElfQueen’s still here; but Paul and Winston found some worthy men to donate sperm to impregnate Deirdre and Carol. Over the years, their descendants wandered away. Only Evan, your great whatever grandfather, was interested in the winery, so Paul taught him how to run it.”
“So Dad wasn’t the first Archer to be a pain in the ass to the league?”
“Not even close.” Glinda handed Raul a drink. “Winston was the first and your family’s kept up the tradition ever since. Big into traditions, the Archers have always been.”
Raul took a long drink. “Thanks, Glinda. What about your kids?”
“We’ve each had a parthenogenic litter every couple of generations, starting with Winston, but soon things will be,” she paused, “more interesting.” Tattypoo smiled. “Sometime in the next fifty years or so, we should become pokewomen. You might be the one to sire sons out of us.”
“That’s just weird.” Raul stared into the distance. “I’m only twelve.”
“That’s why we aren’t yours, yet; but we’ve been waiting since your father was killed. The Elves have satisfied our bodies, but not our needs.”
“That’ll be my job, right?”
“Yes. That’s why we’ve been careful to teach you while trying to not dominate you. You’ll be our husband someday, not our slave.”
“You know we are the only ones who call a harem a family and a Tamer a husband.”
Tattypoo smiled. “I’ve heard that someplace in the Blue League might be starting to do that now, but it doesn’t matter to us. Like I said, we Archers are big into tradition. That’s the way it’s been and that’s the way it will be. Fuck everyone else.”
***
ELFQUEEN, the Regal Forest Queen Pokégirl
Type: Very Near Human
Element: Plant/Magic
Frequency: Rare
Diet: Vegetarian
Role: Caretaker of forests, ruler among elves. Lands an ElfQueen and a team of Elves cultivate have a 220% crop yield, however they make poor pets in urban areas and rapidly sicken in polluted regions.
Libido: Average to High (can become Extreme with Tamers they are emotionally attached to)
Strong Vs: Psychic, Plant, Ground, Rock, Water
Weak Vs: Fire, Dark, Fighting
Attacks: Power Bolt, Dazzle, Reflect, Heal, Command Plants, Summon (Elf-types save for Dark Elves, Bondage Elves, and Bondage Queens), Rose Whip, Wood Tower, Grass Floor, Lance
Enhancements: Longevity, Plant Affinity, Magic Affinity, Gardener, Enhanced Hearing (x4)
Disadvantages: Takes double damage from Fire attacks.
Evolves: None
Evolves from: Elf (orgasm)
ElfQueens evolve from Elves who experience intense orgasms, most often from one they are Delta-bonded to. When this occurs the Elf gains two feet in height and usually one to two cup sizes (maxing out at around six feet and a D cup). Their skin becomes pale and their hair (if not already this color) typically becomes shades of red, brown, or blonde, though bright blue, silver, or even white are not unheard of. For some reason all ElfQueens can be found in flowing, low-cut gowns that match the colors of the local trees (silver if there are no local trees) and change colors with the seasons.
Feral ElfQueens claim forests, or large sections of forests, as their domains, sending out a mystical call that attracts Feral Elves to them. Typically the Queen forms a colony of twenty to a hundred Elves, with Avariel Elves, Dark Maidens, Drow Zees, High Elves, and occasionally the odd Golden Elf or Grandelf mixed in. Within her domain the ElfQueen claims absolute authority, but practically this is usually limited by the amount of other Pokégirls and humans in the area. Once a colony is established the Queen has her subjects start making natural-seeming modifications to the lands about them, to provide for better food, defense, and plant growth. Forests under an ElfQueen's care experience rapid growth but ElfQueens are cautious enough to know both when to stop planting and when to trim back the woods to maintain ecological balance. Somewhere within the woods the ElfQueen will establish her Court. Oftentimes the Court might be situated in a grove though some ElfQueens have been known to have large trees made into their palatial homes. It seems to be a matter of taste. When two Feral ElfQueens cross paths one of two things happens. Either the "defending" Queen plays gracious hostess to her fellow royalty or (if one or both are of the arrogant, snobbish persuasion) a fight breaks out. These battles are rarely to the death. Usually the loser is forced to concede her domain to the winner and become a servant of the victor.
Tamed and Feral ElfQueens share a few common traits. First is their love of nature, especially plant life. ElfQueens always carry some token of the plant world with them, be it their traditional flower-wreaths, flowers sewn into their clothes or woven into their hair, or even vine bracelets, chokers, or anklets. They both hold Dark Elves, Bondage Elves, and Bondage Queens in nothing but the lowest of contempt, openly ridiculing them as mockeries of Elvenkind. Tamed ElfQueens will not usually start attacks on Dark Elves, Bondage Elves, or Bondage Queens they run across, but they will loudly encourage their Tamers and Harem-sisters to avoid such Pokégirls or drive them away. Feral ElfQueens have an attack-on-sight policy. Putting an ElfQueen and a Dark Elf, Bondage Elf, or Bondage Queen in the same harem is a very bad idea. The ElfQueen will likely lash out, provoking battles until one or the other is dead or otherwise removed. Finally, both Tamed and Feral ElfQueens have a very odd deference to Grandelves. They become meek and quiet in the presence of Grandelves, and tend to rely on them for advice. Also, both kinds of ElfQueens get along well with High Elves.
In battle ElfQueens take on a field commander position. They direct their subjects (and for Tamed ones their sisters) into strategic positions. Because an ElfQueen gets to know her subjects (or Harem-sisters) early on they generally know the strengths and weaknesses of what and who they have to work with and lay out their plans accordingly. Weaker subjects or sisters are directed towards where there is the least risk while others are deployed as best as the situation will allow and the ElfQueen provides support from a distance with her attacks. While the ElfQueen doesn't like to fight herself, she will to protect her subjects or Harem-sisters. They often get quite protective of other Elf-types in a Harem, as well as smaller and physically or emotionally weaker Harem-sisters, and have been known to put themselves in danger to protect those Sisters. When they do directly battle it's from long-range, using their power to control plants to twist the environment to their benefit and lashing out with Rose Whip and Power Bolt, often after dazzling a foe.
ElfQueens generally have average to high libidos. Although they only need Taming twice in a month, they are happy to receive it whenever. When it comes to Taming an ElfQueen loses her air of detachment from the world and can become very blunt with her desires, but only in private. In public they are prim ladies when the subject is brought up. With Tamers they are emotionally bonded to (or Delta-bonded with) an ElfQueen's libido rapidly increases to Extreme and they become very demanding of their lover's time and attention. They don't like to share their partners and they don't like being kept waiting either.
NEO-ICZEL, the Super Pokégirl
Type: Very Near Human
Element: Magic
Frequency: Very Rare (Crimson League), Extremely Rare (Elsewhere)
Diet: human-style diet
Role: individual striking units
Libido: Average (High seasonally)
Strong Vs: Magic, Water
Weak Vs: Psychic
Attacks: Energy Blade, Power Bolt, Reflect, Burst, Magic Fist, Magic Kick, Shield, Dazzle, Teleport, Phoenix Down, Tectonic Slam, Fissure
Enhancements: Defense, Enhanced Endurance (x8), Enhanced Strength (x19), Flight
Evolves: None
Type: Very Near Human
Element: Magic
Frequency: Very Rare (Crimson League), Extremely Rare (Elsewhere)
Diet: human-style diet
Role: individual striking units
Libido: Average (High seasonally)
Strong Vs: Magic, Water
Weak Vs: Psychic
Attacks: Energy Blade, Power Bolt, Reflect, Burst, Magic Fist, Magic Kick, Shield, Dazzle, Teleport, Phoenix Down, Tectonic Slam, Fissure
Enhancements: Defense, Enhanced Endurance (x8), Enhanced Strength (x19), Flight
Evolves: None
Evolves From: Kamichu (if overconfident)
Neo-Iczels were among the most powerful fighters during the Revenge War. They were single fighting units and among the strongest Pokégirls in existence. Neo-Iczels are human in appearance, usually pale-skinned and muscular, built like gymnasts, with hair colors in bright extremes, be it bright black, bright brown, bright red, bright blonde, bright white, etc. They are superhumanly strong, seconded in strength only by girls like the Amachamp, and capable of flying and firing blasts of powerful energy. They are also capable of taking a lot of punishment, making them ideal for combat harems.
Neo-Iczels would be among the most desired Pokégirls if it weren't for one little problem: they are EXTRAORDINARILY arrogant.
In the wild, they are aloof, and will not allow themselves to be captured unless they are defeated utterly, and only if the Tamer takes part in defeating her via means other than just ordering his or her girls around. Tame Neo-Iczels are also cold to their Harem sisters, and encourage their master to rely on only them for their pleasure and for battles. They WILL NOT accept other partners unless they are equals or superior, and will insist on occasionally battling with her harem sisters to see if they are worthy. This has inspired many Tamers to either trade away the Neo-Iczel, give up their Pokégirls in favor of the Neo-Iczel (an action frowned upon by the majority of Leagues and illegal in the Crimson League and WAPL), or train up their Pokégirls to get the Neo-Iczel to accept them. A determined, patient, and caring Tamer who gets their Pokégirls strong will not only have a powerful Harem, but a dedicated, completely loyal ally in a Neo-Iczel.
Those that break through the shell of arrogance of a Neo-Iczel, be they human or Pokégirl, and manage to Bond with her, will find their power increasing alongside the Neo-Iczels. In an amusing irony, the less arrogant a Neo-Iczel becomes, the more powerful they become. Although this is a rare occurrence, as the Neo-Iczel has a genetic predisposition to be arrogant and it's rare that a Tamer has enough patience to work to win the affection of this arrogant breed of Pokégirl. It is also rare that they experience humbling through humiliation, as they are incredibly powerful.
In an interesting side note, Neo-Iczels do not become angry when witnessing the evolution of a Penance, as most other Pokégirl breeds do. They instead become focused on taking care of the Penance, showing their rarely displayed kind, caring sides as they try to win the trust of the skittish young Pokégirl.
It is a wise thing to note that Neo-Iczels have an intense rivalry with Demon Goddesses. The two breeds were both created to be heavy assault units, and a strong competitive streak developed between the two breeds. This rivalry, near the end of the war, developed into an intense hatred that neither breed has been able to shake (or explain, for that matter, since records of exactly what happened during the war are few and far between, and no one knows how the rivalry started). A Neo-Iczel, when coming within twenty feet of a Demon Goddess (or vice versa), will immediately seek out a battle. And only a fool would try and keep a Neo-Iczel and Demon Goddess in the same harem.
No cases of Thresholding into a Neo-Iczel have been reported, something which many people are very grateful for.