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Grey Chronicles
Three
(09/15/06 0600 Grey House, Texas League)
The sky was gold with the light from the sun still barely below the horizon. A bird somewhere in the ruins began warming up his song for the coming day as Iain and his family looked over the land they’d purchased. The shuttle had left a short time ago, headed into the Gulf of Mexico where it would lay submerged until the sun went down when it could return to the Theodora.
The night had wrought amazing changes. Where the day before the property had been a jumble of shattered concrete, glass, steel and wood, the rising sun showed a flat landscape devoid of rock. The amphitheatres around two of the springs were clear of rubble and, while the water was a muddy brown, it was clearing quickly as the strong water flow washed the sediment first into Barton Creek and then to the Colorado River.
On land, the ground was now uniformly colored a rich brown that ended a meter or two outside the posts the family had erected to mark the boundaries of their land. Ninhursag knelt and scooped some of the soil, sniffed deeply and touched the tip of her tongue to it. Her face lit up. “This is the most fertile land I’ve ever encountered. We’ll have a lawn before evening and Vanessa, April and I can be planning flowers and hedges.”
April was glaring at the only object on their land. “And that is the ugliest house I’ve ever seen.”
Iain had to admit she was right. It was a large square two story building with no visible windows and a single door. The entire structure was a deep gray that reminded him of basalt. The walls and roof were covered with tiny perforated rails that extended out a few centimeters and ran both horizontally and vertically, giving the structure a tightly crosshatched appearance from where they stood.
I appreciate your sentiment, April, Theodora said to them all through their twees, but location and speed necessitated that the exterior be practical as opposed to decorative. There will be more time to plan something aesthetically pleasing when you design your permanent home. I assure you that the interior of this place will be more to your liking.
Pandora was eyeing it curiously. “Speed I can understand, but why did the location help to influence the design of the exterior?”
This building is intended to be an intermittent residence for the clan when visiting Austin and will not be permanently occupied. Therefore one of the concerns in the design was ensuring that when you came here, there would be no feral pokegirls or human squatters in your residence. Because of that, I had to incorporate as many passive defenses as possible into the design since active defenses would have merely drawn attention to the clan’s property. To that end, the structure’s outer walls, floor and roof are all made of a material similar to that found in my transports that will resist one or possibly two hyperbeam impacts in the same spot and is impervious to lesser techniques. All exterior surfaces are a meter thick and heavily insulating so that any single pokegirl would collapse from exhaustion before she could heat or cool a particular point enough to cause structural damage. My surveillance systems would warn me before a pokegirl could cut her way in with an energy blade. The structure on the outside of the walls can be used to allow the installation of appliqué sheets resembling any siding that you wish, but is actually designed for the growth of climbing plants in a thickness to allow this building to appear to be a hill or other terrain feature. Camouflage is the best defense against feral pokegirls as well as determined humans, after all. They cannot try to break into what they do not know is there.
April’s glare faded. “You know, if we cover it in flowers it has potential.”
Ninhursag stood, brushing her hands clean on her pants. “Too many flowers would draw ferals and humans wishing to curry romantic favor with each other. I would recommend something that is mildly toxic and smells bad. I can grow yew against the sides and weave the branches into each other as well as the house to make a mass that will look like a thick stand of trees.”
“Is yew poisonous?”
The Elfqueen nodded. “Iain, all parts of the yew, including the wood, are very toxic. Unless she’s immune to poison a pokegirl eating more than a small amount will become very sick and probably die. Back where we came from some queendoms that humans would call renegade used yew arrowheads dipped in the poison from the seeds in combat to ensure that their opponent died.” She touched her bow where it rode high on her shoulder. “Those that had lost the gift for the living bow, that is.” She looked at April and Vanessa. “Is that good enough to satisfy even your delicate sensibilities?”
“I like yew,” Vanessa replied. April nodded her agreement.
“I’m glad that’s settled,” Iain muttered. “Theodora, what about the interior? Is it going to be as dark as it looks?”
No it will not. I have put lighting inside that mimics full sunlight without the heat and humidity. Each person has a bedroom and since pokegirls in a harem are usually very social every two rooms share a full bath. Your bedroom has its own bath. The kitchen and other living spaces are sized for your full clan in mind, with extra room for a dozen children or other persons. This does mean that your kitchen is more on the industrial size than what would be found in a normal residence, but my survey indicated that ease of use was more important than making it look like what would be found in a small family home.
“Survey,” Eve asked with a puzzled tone. “What survey?”
I surveyed your twees and they told me what you needed and wanted in a home. I balanced everyone’s needs and added what wants I could without turning this building into something so large that it stood out by its very presence. Your permanent home in the country will be much larger and vastly more to everyone’s liking.
“Why didn’t you just ask us?” Vanessa frowned at Iain as she spoke. “It’s not like we’re shy about telling people what we want.”
I considered going that route briefly, but I needed an answer quickly enough to manufacture this building in a timely enough fashion to have it available now. While I freely admit that I haven’t interacted with my new clan for long, I have already noticed a distinct tendency on the part of several people to ask for time to consider their answers to questions. Since your subconscious is always considering your needs and wants, I shortened the response time by going straight to the source. I will be more than happy to allow time for reflection when building your permanent home but this time I was in a bit of rush and I wanted to give you a present, which suggests that my gift should be a surprise.
Dominique chuckled. “And we thank you for it. I for one will be perfectly happy if I never have to stay in a tent again.”
Canaan snorted. “You wish. Considering how long it may take some people to make up their minds on what they want in a permanent home, we could be living in a tent for months.” She hefted her pack and headed for the house. “I want to see my room.”
***
(09/15/06 1430 Grey House, Texas League)
Iain took a deep breath of the fresh air outside their new home and promptly sneezed. While growing the yew up to hide their house, Ninhursag had expedited the process by making the trees flower, fertilize and drop seeds that she then sprouted. As a result, the area around the house was thick with yellow pollen. He sneezed violently a couple of more times as he moved quickly away from the house.
April found him sitting under a mesquite tree, reassembling his pistol while Pandora stood watch nearby. A towel was spread out in front of him and his cleaning kit sat beside him. “There you are.”
He didn’t stop what he was doing as he looked up. “Here I be. What’s up?”
“It’s time.”
“Just a second.” He finished putting the pistol back together and loaded it before slipping it into its holster. “Where’s Ninhursag?”
“She’s waiting for us at the creek.”
He put everything back into the cleaning kit and slid to his feet. “Do you mind that I smell like solvent and oil?”
The brunette smiled affectionately. “I’m used to it by now, Iain, but if you want to clean up we have time.”
“That sounds like a broad hint she wants you to wash and change that ugly shirt.”
April giggled as Iain glanced back at Pandora. “Yeah, I heard that too. April, I’ll meet you and Ninhursag in about five minutes, ok?”
Back at the house he stripped to the waist and quickly scrubbed before putting on a nice shirt. “Is this ok?”
Pandora looked him over critically before leaning forward and sniffing him. “It’ll make April happier,” she rolled her eyes, “if that’s even possible.”
“This is important to her. She’s talked about this pretty much since we first met.”
The Fallen Angel fell in behind him as they headed outside again. “Yes, it is. Has anyone asked you how you feel about this?”
He glanced back at her. “No, no one has.”
“How do you feel about this?”
He shrugged. “I’d like to wait a couple of months but I understand April’s desires and I’m not upset.”
“Is that being considerate of her wants or pragmatic about what’s going to happen?”
He flashed teeth in a grin. “It’s a little of both, actually.”
They found April and Ninhursag sitting and waiting for them near the dam of the pool. The quiet sound of the water spilling over the dam was a relaxing sound that he welcomed. “Ladies.”
The silver haired Elfqueen gestured around them as Pandora took up sentry duty nearby. “I thought that having some kind of ceremonial site would keep this special. That and it’ll keep me from being pestered by the others when the time comes. They can make an appointment. Of course, the site will change after we move again, but this is a good tradition to start.”
He nodded. “Then by all means let’s proceed with the ceremony.”
Ninhursag rose and tugged April to her feet. The Duelist stripped off her blouse and turned to face her maharani. “I’m ready.”
A green nimbus appeared around Ninhursag’s hands. “Once done, this cannot be undone. Are you sure?”
“I am sure.”
Ninhursag reached out and took Iain’s hand in hers. The glow appeared on his hands too as he unlocked his raw magic. April took one of each of their hands in hers, forming a circle. They stood that way for several seconds before the glow died. Ninhursag smiled warmly. “It is done. You have undergone parthenogenesis and are now pregnant.”
April hugged her and Iain before putting her shirt back on. “Thank you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to find Sofia for some training.” She headed for the house at a trot.
“I’m kind of surprised it was only April,” Iain commented. “Last time this came up other people wanted to have kids too.”
Ninhursag snorted. “Trust me when I say that hasn’t changed. It’s just we decided to wait a month and let her go first by herself. She’s earned that honor from us. Next month Canaan will get pregnant. After that we’ll have a lottery for whoever else is interested in having children right now. Other people would have been here, but April wanted this to be sort of private so I sent them out with their shopping lists already.”
“It’ll also be easier if the births are staggered out a moon or so,” Pandora said. “For the mother, that is. It’ll be one long period of screaming infants for everyone else.”
“It won’t be that bad, Pandora,” Ninhursag said reassuringly.
“So says one of the women who will be letting the rest of us take care of her screaming newborns.” Pandora sounded positively gloomy. “It’s going to be years of babies.”
Ninhursag cocked her head. “Are you going to have a litter before you become a pokewoman?”
Pandora grimaced. “I don’t think the world needs more Fallen Angels.”
The Elfqueen looked at Iain. “Let’s ask the father’s opinion. Would you like it if Pandora gave you some daughters?”
Say no, Pandora whispered to him over the delta bond. Don’t lie to her to make her happy.
Iain took a deep breath. “With the understanding that I’ve already said that the decision of having children is up to each of you, I would be extremely pleased if Pandora did decide to bless me by having our children.” He looked at Pandora as she glared at him. You told me not to lie and this is the truth.
Why are you so frustrating?
It’s a gift. Still, as much as I’d like to spoil our daughters, the final decision is yours and I won’t like you less if you decide to wait.
And if I decide there will be no children?
Eventually you’ll be a pokewoman and then I can impregnate you the old fashioned way.
She blinked and flushed suddenly. “I’ll think about it,” she muttered.
“Thank you.” He turned to Ninhursag. “Is there anything else right now? If not, I do believe that my bossy maharani gave me a shopping list just like she did pretty much everyone else and I need to go see what I can get locally and what I’ll have to get Theodora to deliver for me.”
A smile flickered on her face. “Then you’d better get going. I hear your maharani is a stone bitch when someone ignores what she wants.” She nodded to Pandora, who fell in behind Iain as he turned north to follow the river to Austin.
***
(09/15/06 1700 Austin, Texas League)
Iain stopped and looked at the building on the right side of the road. A sign read “Callahan’s Eatery” and wonderful smells were coming from the opened screen windows. “Pandora, would you like something to eat?”
The Fallen Angel sniffed the air. “Do Texans eat kidney pie?”
Iain chuckled. “No, but a burger sounds pretty good right now.”
“Is this going to be the Whichaburger you keep talking about?”
“It’s Whataburger and I don’t think the chain survived the Revenge War.” He sighed. “Sukebe was a son of a bitch.” He shook himself. “Unless it’s vegan, Callahan’s should have some kind of a burger.” He motioned. “Ladies first.”
“I’m wearing a skirt, Iain, and a fairly loose one at that. You can’t see my ass very well.”
He grinned suddenly. “It doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the sway of your hips.”
“You go first. I am your guard and you don’t get to walk behind me unless we know the threat is in front of us. Move, Iain.” He moved.
The inside of Callahan’s looked like a nice family oriented business. Several tables were occupied, most of them with couples or small families. A chalkboard announced that the special was mutton stew.
“Hey you!” Iain looked around to see a stocky man standing in a doorway. Behind the man, Iain could see into the kitchen. “We don’t serve your kind here!”
“My kind?”
The man pointed past Iain. “We don’t serve them!” Pandora realized who he was pointing at and went white. “Her kind killed our families and destroyed our homes.” Rage bubbled in his voice. “Get out before I throw you out, you damned monster!”
Iain looked around to see people staring at them in a mixture of fear and anger. He shook his head. “You people are sad, you know that? Here we have the same attitudes that will become the pure bloods in the other leagues.”
“I said get out.” The man picked up a baseball bat from behind the bar and started forward.
“We’re going,” Iain said curtly as his fingers touched the butt of his pistol in its shoulder holster, “but if you attack me or her I will kill you right here.” He backed outside, carefully watching until the door swung shut.
“That was unexpected,” Pandora said quietly as they headed down the street to find somewhere else to eat.
“Everyone is allowed to decide who they will and who they will not allow in their property. I should have taken it to its logical conclusion and expected something like that, but I forgot. I’m sorry for putting you through that, Pandora.”
“You were not aware of what Callahan’s was like. I know you did not deliberately take me in there to provoke them or to remind me about my killing my tamer.”
“No, I didn’t and it’ll be a cold day in hell before we step foot in that place again.” His eyes were angry. “Although I might stop and offer a few cheers if I happen by while it’s burning down.” He stopped and turned to face Pandora. “And that was not my version of ‘will someone rid me of this turbulent priest’ either.”
“What is that?”
“It’s a historical reference, although it might not be entirely accurate. In any case means I’m not indirectly suggesting that someone burn down Callahan’s to make me happy.”
“Of course you’re not, Iain. It would be silly to think you were. If you decide you want Callahan’s burned down, you will burn it down yourself.”
He barked a laugh. “That’s true enough. Do you want to know what’s really funny about that place?”
“Not really, but tell me.”
“They’re headed down the same road as the pure bloods from your world. I saw at least two pokegirls in there masquerading as human women.” He flashed teeth in a sardonic smile. “The corruption has already started.”
Pandora had turned around and was looking at the front door of Callahan’s. “There’s no sign letting people know that pokegirls aren’t welcome. There should be a sign.”
“There’s no law saying that someone has to announce that they’re being discriminatory.”
She nodded and turned to face him. “And in Texas there never will be a law like that. Still, if they don’t want pokegirls they should let us know so we don’t waste our time with them. Perhaps they don’t have a sign so they can humiliate pokegirls who enter.”
Iain shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s go find somewhere more hospitable and eat.”
“I am no longer hungry.”
Iain reached out and took her hand. “You wish to hide from people like that?”
“I wish to use hellfire to burn everything and everyone in it to ash.” Her eyes glittered with a grim anger that made the normally bright purple turn dark.
“Yeah, well, I’d probably let you so don’t ask. Since you’re not going to ask the best thing we can do is find a place that lets us eat there and spend our money with them. That way they stay open longer while that place has a better chance of going bankrupt and closing.”
Pandora looked around suddenly. “We are wealthy, right? We have a lot of gold and other valuables coming from Theodora, don’t we?”
“According to her calculations there’s several thousand tons of gold in the asteroid she harvested. Where is this going?”
“There is an open lot on this street.” She pointed with her free hand. “See it?”
Iain followed her gaze. “Yes, I admit that is an empty lot. Why?”
“I would like to see if it is for sale.”
He blinked and gave her a cautious look. “Why,” he asked slowly.
“I think it would be nice to own that lot and find an Iron Chef or other cooking specialist pokegirl to open a competing restaurant on this street and drive Callahan’s out of business. Then we can purchase it and I can burn it down with hellfire.”
“Doing that will just make some of the people who frequent Callahan’s hate pokegirls even more.”
“They will not stop hating until they die. Nothing I can do will change that.”
“That’s true. But what if the clientele of Callahan’s doesn’t drop enough to close the restaurant?”
“We will still have a business here and will be able to collect money from it. You did say that we were going to try to help the Texans. Giving them a good restaurant to eat at is a help for both them and the pokegirls who will be employed by it.” Her gaze fell on Callahan’s front door again. “And even if they don’t close they will still hate having a pokegirl run business on their street. If we make sure that the restaurant welcomes all people then they will be an example of what life with pokegirls can and should be.”
“Is this the Seraph in you talking?”
She shrugged. “Perhaps. More than that, it is an insulted woman talking. I wish to punish them for their hatred.” She glanced at him. “Will you help me?” There was no threat in the question, just honest curiosity and perhaps a bit of a testing tone.
Perhaps more than a bit.
Iain looked thoughtful for a minute before shrugging, even though it was an act. If she’d really wanted to burn the place, he’d have helped by chaining the doors shut. Helping to run them out of business was easy. “Ok.”
Pandora squeezed his fingers. “Thank you. Do you want to find someplace to eat? I might get hungry watching you eat.”
“No, I think we’ll find out what the address of that lot is and buy it from Buck first. Then we’ll eat.”
***
(09/15/06 1715 Austin, Texas League)
Iain looked at the closed sign on Buck’s door and grumbled under his breath. “They close at five. Crud.”
Pandora shrugged. “If you would like, we can come back tomorrow morning. Or we could forget the whole idea.”
Iain didn’t miss the noncommittal tone. “If you truly want to open a restaurant and drive Callahan’s under, I will support you all the way. We aren’t done yet.”
“Ok.” Her tone was more cheerful.
They both turned at the rapid fire thudding of inhumanly fast footsteps coming up the street behind them. Sally, in her transformed state, raced into view and skidded to a halt in front of them, pulling a thin cloud of dust with her that drifted over all three, making Iain sneeze. A bell was next to the stoop and she gave it a gentle kick that set it loudly ringing. When nothing happened, the Chocoboob glared at the closed sign and made a series of angry chirps as she stomped a foot.
“She sounds pissed,” Pandora observed.
“Yeah she does.” Iain waved to get her attention and pointed to the bundle of packages that were strapped to her back. They were tightly bound to keep them from falling off. It was likely that if she transformed while wearing the harness she had on, she could be badly hurt. “Sally, if you’d like Pandora and I will unload you so you can change back to your human form.”
Sally looked at him evenly for several seconds before giving a neutral warble and turning to present her side to him. Pandora looked at the assemblage of buckles and headed around to Sally’s other side. “You work on that side and I’ll unbuckle her from here. Once everything is loose we’ll slide the entire bundle off her back and lay it on the ground.”
As soon as the pack was on the ground, Sally changed form. “Thank you,” she said. “Buck probably thought I would be later and went to get a bite to eat.” She glared at the sign again. “The only problem is that I don’t carry a key.” She gestured at herself. “I don’t wear clothes while running and too many pokegirls with enhanced senses of smell are around to hide a key under something.” She grimaced. “I used to carry a key around my neck but if I use string or something like that I lose it and if I use wire or chain it tries to break my neck when someone jerks on it. I guess I wait for Buck to show up.”
Iain exchanged a look with Pandora. “If you will give me express permission, Sally, I can open your door for you.”
The Chocoboob shook her head. “It’s a bump and pick resistant lock, Iain. You can’t open it.”
“Give me permission and let me find out. Without your permission I won’t even try since it’s your property.”
Sally shrugged. “Don’t damage the lock or the door and you’re free to give it your best shot.”
Iain placed his fingers on the lock. With his perception it was easy to see the tumblers and even with his limited magic he could properly orient them and turn the lock.
Sally blinked when she heard the bolt slide and Iain opened the door. “How did you do that?”
Iain shrugged. “Does it matter? Pandora, could you get Sally’s packages please?”
“I’m your guard. You get them.”
“Fine.” Iain retrieved the bundle and followed Sally inside. He put it on the counter as Pandora followed them in and closed the door.
The Chocoboob cocked her head. “You’re his bodyguard?”
“My maharani feels that I can protect him. She thinks that I’m a psychopath and that he needs someone like that to protect him while he ameliorates my self destructive tendencies and desires to hurt others.”
Iain chuckled and Sally glanced at him curiously. “What’s so amusing?”
“Ninhursag was half right. I won’t let Pandora hurt herself needlessly, which means I work to stay out of situations where she would have to protect me. That keeps the number of people Pandora gets to hurt to a minimum.”
“You said she was half right. Where was she wrong?”
“We’re here because I’m helping to channel Pandora’s desire to chop up some people into a more constructive path where she destroys them financially and hopefully drives them to suicide.”
Sally blinked again. “You two don’t sound like nice people.”
Iain smiled again. “I’m not.”
“That’s a matter of context,” Pandora replied. “We’re here because I want to purchase an empty lot on Polk Street that’s just down from Callahan’s. I want to build a restaurant there that is open to everyone and run Callahan’s out of business.”
Everyone turned when the door opened and a frowning Buck Hartman came in. “How in the hell did you get inside? I always lock up.”
Sally hugged him and they exchanged a quick kiss. “I gave Iain permission and he unlocked the door for me.”
“How did you do that, Mr. Grey?”
“I have a knack.”
“He’s here because he wants to purchase some land, Buck.”
“We’re closed. He can come back tomorrow.”
Sally smiled craftily. “No, for this we’re open. They’re nice people and we want to help them.”
Buck eyed her warily. “What’s this about?”
“They want to buy that lot on Polk down from Callahan’s restaurant. They intend to open a competing place and close Callahan’s.”
Buck looked into her eyes. “I take it you haven’t forgiven Todd for what he called you?”
Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Buck Hartman, how on earth could I forgive something like that? Did you forgive him?” Even Iain could hear the dangerous tone in the question.
“I believe I tried to find a way to call him out for it,” Buck said quietly. “I haven’t forgiven him. Get the ledger.”
***
(09/15/06 1945 Austin, Texas League)
The room was just off of Iain’s bedroom and was outfitted as a Victorian study with dark paneling and leather furniture. Their clothing didn’t look right against the furniture but Pandora looked more comfortable than Iain remembered seeing her before, curled up as she was with her skirt tucked under her legs in the overstuffed chair that stood sentinel in one corner.
The only thing that was off was the fact that the room was larger than a normal study, but that was to allow for the extra furniture that the rest of his harem was currently ensconced in. Two of the chairs were large enough to make Ninhursag and Canaan look normal sized, which was jarring in and of itself, but they looked comfortable and that was more important.
Iain sat behind the massive desk and he leaned forward to double check that the discussion was being video recorded before speaking. “Ok, let’s start with a summary of the day. Who wants to go first?”
Eve nodded. “I will. Canaan and I visited the places on our list and discovered that a lot of basic foodstuffs are available. Right after the Red Plague things were bad but they survived by harvesting wild crops and replanting as best they could. More farmers around the outskirts of the cities are using pokegirls now, but they don’t understand how to best utilize their unique abilities yet so pickings are still lean in the stores we saw. If we want to, we can help a lot both on the supply as well as the sales side of the chain.”
“Zareen and I visited some of those farms,” Ninhursag reported. “They’re trying to use pokegirls to replace their livestock and people.” She grinned. “We saw a disgruntled looking Rhynodame pulling a tractor plow.” She sobered. “The problem is that neither the pokegirls nor the farmers know what they’re supposed to be doing. It doesn’t help that they don’t have the right equipment. All of the farms had converted over to tractors pulling equipment, which are unsuited for pokegirls to work with. We also went by a farmer’s market and were refused admittance because Zareen was nude. Right, Zareen?”
The Nightmare was busy playing with a snow globe that she’d found on a shelf amongst all of the other knickknacks Theodora had seen fit to decorate the room with. She looked up and turned to Iain. “Can I have this?”
Iain smiled. “Of course you can. Did someone tell you that you couldn’t go someplace because you didn’t have clothes on?”
“Yeah, but they sometimes do that in Blue and you said they can do that here if they want. The place smelled. I could smell it had lots of really old vegetables.”
Iain shrugged. “It’s actually harvest season for corn and peanuts and you can get some potatoes now, but it depends on what you can find to plant. Corn does not reseed very well and heirloom seeds are probably hard to find. Modern seeds are often hybrids that don’t reseed well either. We could probably do a brisk business in seed from the pokegirl world we came from since it is pretty much all heirloom seed.”
“We got kicked out of a couple of stores because we’re pokegirls,” Dominique spoke next. “And Raquel had some fellow offer her money for a date. He said he likes French women, even French pokegirls.”
“I’m not French, I’m Noir,” Canaan said in a falsetto. Everyone, including Raquel, laughed.
“That is what I told him,” the Rapitaur chuckled. “It confused him. Apparently the new names of the leagues haven’t been published to any extent. Dominique failed to mention that one shopkeeper put his dog on us when he felt we didn’t leave quickly enough. It was a big nasty brute, too.” She smiled cheerfully. “It was, at least until I kicked it. I hurt it pretty badly but I think it might live. It wasn’t bleeding much, but internal injuries are hard to discern from just observation.”
Dominique shrugged. “I figured we were even. We didn’t get hurt and he started it. I am sorry about the dog, though. I know they’re not as rare and as expensive as they are where we come from, but still it would have been better to napalm the shopkeeper.”
“We’ll add that to our list of places to avoid,” Iain said. “Pandora and I found that there are a lot of places that sell reconditioned firearms but they’re so common that nobody specializes in them. There’s a small cottage industry in new firearms, but they need precision lathes without a whole boatload of computer controls on them. And every store sells stuff gleaned from the ruins of Old Austin. Some of it was reconditioned and some wasn’t. Also, we did run across a place where we got ejected because Pandora is a pokegirl. It’s a restaurant called Callahan’s and they were pretty threatening about it. Their behavior was so reprehensible that Pandora wants to build a competing restaurant and see if she can force them to close. We already bought a piece of property in the area and we’ll see where we can go from there.”
Eve looked surprised. “You did?”
“Yeah. It’s kind of funny. Buck’s place was closed but apparently the owner of Callahan’s has had an encounter with Buck and Sally and they opened up so we could buy an empty lot on the same street.”
“There wasn’t any other option?”
Iain shrugged. “I could have locked the doors, set the place on fire with hellfire and had Pandora throw anyone who made it out back inside. That sounded too much like fun, though, which made me suspect it wasn’t a good idea.”
“I would have refused to throw the children back inside,” Pandora said.
“That too. And children standing around and crying about their dying parents can be so bothersome. So, anyways, I decided that running them out of business sounds like a better solution.”
Vanessa nodded slowly. “Considering the choices, I think I would agree. But can Pandora cook?”
Pandora shrugged. “You have tasted my cooking and know that it is nothing special. I want to get an Iron Chef to run the place and have pokegirl servers. But Iain said we couldn’t discriminate against human employees because it would be just as bad as Callahan’s.”
“Not to mention Iain’s rule about adding to the harem,” April said with obvious satisfaction. “We all have to agree, so this Iron Chef will need a tamer of her own.”
“Where is this Iron Chef going to come from,” Canaan asked quietly.
Iain shrugged. “I still have to get my painting from Colin and there are some other things we still have to do in your original universe. We can purchase or otherwise acquire an Iron Chef there.”
“They’re not that common,” April pointed out. “In fact they’re pretty rare.”
“The Ivywhore and Boobleaf breeds aren’t that hard to find and we have the money to afford cooking T2s and some Heavy Metals,” Eve said thoughtfully. “And if we are willing to get a pokewoman they get easier to find.”
“Hire,” April said firmly. “Hire not get. Getting implies she’s joining the family.”
“But if we hire her she can quit,” Ninhursag shrugged when April frowned at her. “You not liking it doesn’t make what I said any less right.”
Iain looked at Pandora. “Maybe we should have burned the place down instead.”
“I’m beginning to think that would have been easier on our family,” the Fallen Angel said in a low tone.
Iain picked up a paperweight and tapped it on the desk blotter to get everyone’s attention. “Yes, anyone we hire can quit. That’s part of being an entrepreneur. So we sweeten the pot so she doesn’t want to quit. We offer her a percentage of the restaurant so that she loses if she walks away from it. And we give her a lot of latitude in the day to day operation of the place. We’ll have to do that anyway since we don’t intend to be working there full time, if at all. We just don’t tell her that until after we’re done hammering out an agreement with her. Part of that agreement will involve what to do with her leftovers, too. I was thinking we’d package them up and ship them off to the TDF volunteers.”
“That sounds good,” Eve said. “When are we going to go back to our universe?”
“Not for a little while. We still need to find a place for the Sisterhood troops and it might be better to have something to present to them the next time we meet with Lucy so she knows what she’s getting into and can start preparing her people for.” He rolled the paperweight between his palms. “So that’s the next step. We go looking for someplace to live.”
“What are the criteria,” April asked.
“I want to be on the other side of Texas from Kerrik,” Iain said firmly. “It’s a good way to keep any misunderstandings to a minimum. Considering that misunderstandings between truewizards can be rather final, we really want to avoid them. To be honest, I briefly considered leaving Texas altogether, but we’d have to carve out someplace else to live as we want to and I’m tired of listening to others tell me what I have to do in order to live in their league. Even if we did find someplace in a wilderness, eventually the league who thought that wilderness was theirs would show up and demand things from us. It might take a year or a century, but it will eventually happen and then we’d be in a constant state of war with them until someone got hurt enough to quit.”
“Isn’t that what’s going on between Texas and Indigo, Johto and Sunshine?”
Iain nodded. “Yes, but those are invaders and are going to be willing to pay a lot less before deciding they would rather focus on consolidating lands that they know they own. Not to mention that while we’re fighting them, Texas isn’t going to come up and stab us in the back. I suppose that if push comes to shove we could always have Theodora build us a habitat somewhere in the solar system, but that’s a last ditch option to consider right before I consider the option of deploying thermonuclear weapons.” He raised a hand as Eve scowled. “Which I would not do. I’m not going to be known as Sukebe Jr. and the guy who slaughtered a significant percentage of the people who survived the Red Plague.”
***
(09/16/06 0600 Austin, Texas League)
The basement of their new home was split into two parts and each was accessible from a separate staircase. One half was Dominique’s laboratory while the other half was more mundane storage.
Theodora’s hologram waited at the bottom of the spiral staircase and watched Iain, Ninhursag and April come down to meet her. Iain had been surprised to find that the house had been completely fitted out with the projectors, but thinking about it made him realize that Theodora was trying to learn about them since they were her new family and so it made sense that she’d want to spend time with them when she could.
There was no place she couldn’t go or send her hologram. Fortunately she was developing an excellent understanding and acceptance of privacy.
Theodora stepped to the right as part of the wall near the base of the stairs slid aside to reveal a tiny chamber. “If you were to measure the basement against the rest of the house, you’d find that this basement is slightly smaller than Dominique’s lab in order to accommodate the armory. Although I disagree with your reasoning, clan leader, I have not stocked the armory with modern weaponry and instead put in the gunpowder firearms and the SAP ammo as instructed.”
“Modern weapons?” April glanced at him.
“Energy weapons and gravitonic projectile weapons called hornets,” he replied. “I want weapons we’re familiar with and hopefully we can sell variants to other Texans.” He grinned. “Once we’re settled we can train with whatever we want but until then I don’t want to accidentally blow holes in myself or someone important to me. The SAP rounds will be new enough all by themselves.”
The interior of the hidden room was filled with some racks of weapons and some metal crates. The weapons included a handful of shotguns similar to the one Pandora carried, a double row of pistols, another row of submachine guns and a row of rifles.
Theodora gestured at the metal containers. “These hold ball, hollow point and SAP ammunition for the weapons as well as holsters and other accessories for carrying and using them.”
April gave him a curious look. “What’s an SAP round?”
Iain pulled a box out of one of the metal cases and opened it. He removed a pistol round and handed it to her. The round had three thin red bands striping the bullet. “This is a 10mm SAP round. SAP stands for Special Anti-Pokegirl and the round is a scaled down HEAT round.”
“Pretend I don’t speak military jargon, Iain.”
“It’s a small explosive round that collapses a shroud of tantalum into a bolt that will penetrate several centimeters of steel. Then the bolt breaks up, making it perfect for putting all of that kinetic energy into a soft target like a pokegirl.”
April blinked and stared at the round in dawning horror. She almost tossed it back to Iain to get it away from her. “Why would you want something like that?”
“It’s a one shot takedown of just about any pokegirl if you hit her center of mass. Even pokegirls that can shrug off regular bullets have a chewy center that this will reach. I want it to protect us.”
Theodora nodded. “Explosive bullets of less than four hundred grams weight were banned in warfare by the Declaration of St. Petersburg in 1868, but our clan was not a signatory to the declaration, as was not the United States. The leagues, of course, did not exist then and do not consider themselves bound by the treaties and other obligations of the nations they supplanted. Texas does not recognize forbidden tech, and the leagues will probably quickly move to outlaw this ammunition until and unless they can manufacture their own versions, which will only be for their trusted military units. In point of fact this ammunition would be of great benefit to Texans in their fight against feral pokegirl encroachment on society. It would greatly slow the loss of life for humans who don’t have pokegirls as well as pokegirls facing pokegirl opponents who are resistant to their elemental techniques.”
Ninhursag took the round from him and bounced it in her palm. “What about pokegirls who are resistant to fire? Do they take less damage from this?”
“The jet is superheated but the damage is purely kinetic. The idea that heat plays a major role in shaped charges is incorrect. It’s all physics and momentum. The tip of the jet is moving at hypersonic speed and that’s what does the damage. Haven has something similar to this round and is issuing it as the normal ammunition for their firearms equipped troops. It is not for sale by them at this time.”
The Elfqueen closed her fingers over the bullet, trapping it in her fist. “We will to run some tests on armor as well as some to determine what effect, if any, this will have on the magical armor that you and some of the others use to see if we want to sell this and take a chance on it being used on us. However, I don’t see a reason not to use it ourselves.”
April sighed. “Are you sure?”
Ninhursag nodded firmly. “It will help us protect Iain and your children, April. I’d use nuclear weapons if they’d help and Iain would let us have them.”
Iain shrugged when the Elfqueen gave him a quick questioning look. “They’re a bit imprecise to use every day and there’s no way to predict where the fallout will bring contamination. That and I don’t want that kind of karma added to our souls, remember?”
“You could nuke the league capitals.”
“They’re people too. Stupid and misguided people who staged a coup and are now busy fucking over their “citizens”, but they are people too. Not to mention there’s no way to nuke just them. The people living around them are probably blameless of any reason I might want to kill them for.”
Theodora shook her head. “Psychic pokegirls could be employed to discover the person or persons deploying thermonuclear devices and these persons would become high priority targets for assassination. I would strongly advise against importing any such weapons of mass destruction to the planet, much less using them, until such a way to make sure that it cannot be traced back to the clan can be found.”
Iain held up a hand to forestall further protest. “Theodora, April, both of you can relax. I am not going to use nuclear anything here. No nuclear weapons, no fission power plants, nothing. And if someone else deploys them we’ll find other ways to respond if we need to.”
“That’s good to hear,” April replied with obvious relief.
“Just remember that last part. If the leagues want to nuke each other, I’ll sit back and eat popcorn while watching them do it and then I’ll worry about picking up the pieces afterwards.”
***
(09/18/06 1030 Pineland, Sabine County, Texas League)
Iain scowled as he looked around. They were on the southern outskirts of Pineland where Delta Heights Road met Temple Street. He stood with Ninhursag, April, Eve and Pandora while everyone else was on guard around the area. The ruins of a building were nearby and the shattered cross on the wall facing the road informed him that it had been a church of some sort. He used his data unit to project a hologram of the town’s map and glared at it. “We’ve been at this for two days and frankly the places are already all starting to blend together in my head.” He waved an arm. “You’ve got towns that are abandoned and partially demolished, long dead bodies, the occasional freshly dead body, usually human, of some poor idiot who decided that wandering around without a pokegirl of his or her own was safe and, finally, empty fields with a handful of volunteer crops and young trees. There’s nothing that jumps out at us and says ‘here’s where you should live’.”
Ninhursag pointed east. “What’s that over there?”
‘Over there’ was a bunch of scrubby looking pine trees and yaupon that extended down the road and continued far off into the distance. Iain consulted his holographic map. “That’s the start of the Sabine National Forest.”
“Pretty crappy looking forest if you ask me,” the Elfqueen said. “What’s wrong with it?”
“You’re used to forests that have had three centuries to recover from constant logging. This one was last logged less than a decade ago and looks it. Logging probably didn’t stop until after the Red Plague hit.”
“I can fix that, you know,” Ninhursag said, “the scraggly part. Is it for sale?”
“Those trees?”
“I’d prefer the entire forest. That way I can do what I want with it and we don’t have to worry about others complaining.”
“All of the land around here is for sale.” Iain consulted with his twee. “The Sabine National Forest is 160,000 acres and it crosses over five different counties. Last I checked my sources, the league prefers to sell land within a county boundary. It’s easier to use the old county survey records and they don’t have a lot of computers available.”
“I read Bhavacakra,” April said quietly. “Kerrik bought a whole county on the west side of Texas. I think I’d like a county too. It’ll give us enough land to deal with Lucifer’s needs as well as land for our children to live on with their tamers or harems when they’re ready to retire.”
“Do we really need a whole county,” Iain asked.
“I like the idea,” Eve said.
“Why?” Pandora was eying the Megami-sama with curiosity. “What purpose could all of that land serve us?”
“Until I met Iain I’ve never owned property and up to this point we had to worry about neighbors. Even when we lived in the wilderness there was the possibility of passing tamers. I like the idea of owning everything I can see and it means we don’t have to worry about pokegirls dropping by from next door to visit Iain. Next door will be many, many kilometers away.”
“She just convinced me,” Raquel said softly. “Canaan told me about what it was like after the Revenge War. Pokegirls finding out that there’s a man who has a large harem and understands pokegirl needs will have them coming out of the woodwork to find him.”
Iain shrugged. “Any who do will be transported to Port Arthur, Houston or Austin and,” he paused. “Well, shit. There isn’t someplace to send them to meet humans who would be interested in pokegirls.” He grimaced when Eve’s eyes lit up. “Oh, crap.”
“We could do that!”
Iain gave her a suddenly broad smile. “Yes, we could! I make it your job! You figure something out and get with Ninhursag and April as to the resources we’ll need to make it happen.”
Eve’s mouth dropped but she recovered quickly. “Thank you. I’ll get right on it.”
He gave another shrug when Ninhursag’s eyebrows rose questioningly. “We are going to need a way to introduce Lucifer’s people to potential tamers and free pokegirls should be allowed to use the service too. While the idea of all of those celestials going up to strangers and saying ‘hi, will you fuck me,’ has the potential for a lot of low humor,” he paused as Eve stared at him and made a strangled noise of shock, “yeah, I figured their response would be a lot like yours.”
Raquel was giggling loudly at the look on Eve’s face.
Pandora shifted slightly. “Not to mention that sort of behavior would set a rather bad precedent for how tamers would expect to meet decent pokegirls.” She paused for a second. “I, for one, do not want tamers walking up to children that I have helped to raise and asking them if they want to fuck.”
Eve and April both had identical scowls at the thought. Raquel smirked. “I have no problem killing that kind of person without warning and I suspect I am not alone in that decision, either.”
“Let’s just make sure it doesn’t happen,” Eve said darkly. “And we’ll find a much better venue for tamers and pokegirls to meet.”
“So Iain will buy a county,” Raquel stated firmly. “And which one will it be?”
“What county has the most forest in it,” Ninhursag demanded.
Iain had already gotten the answer to that question. “Sabine County has over ninety thousand acres of the national forest in it. That’s well over half the forest and gives us access to the Toledo Bend Reservoir and the Sabine River.”
“Kerrik paid five hundred SLC an acre. How much is that for Sabine County?”
Iain did some math in his head. “At that price it would be a little more than fourteen thousand Texas dollars. Kerrik paid fifty five thousand dollars for his land but he had a lot more acreage in his county. Now I will warn that his is a lot of mountainous terrain suitable for rock collecting and little else. Our land might be more expensive because it’s more useable, but it’s also on the Texas-Louisiana border so there are Indigo forces right across the reservoir which could be a negotiating point to lower the price.”
He looked at Ninhursag. “I think we’ll head through town and go east, following FM2426 into the forest until it hits highway 87 south, which we’ll follow until we get to FM2928. We’ll go east along the route, following it to an old camping resort on the Toledo Bend Reservoir. We’ll stop there for the night and that’ll give us a chance to decide if we want to live here.”
Raquel shook out her skirt and shifted to her centaur form. She turned, putting her flank next to Iain. “Climb on.”
He patted her on the hip. “I appreciate the sentiment but it’s only about thirty kilometers and I’m getting soft from being carried around all the time. I need to go back to walking. If we, meaning me, push the pace we can make it in five hours. That’ll put us at the resort around four, just in time to do some fishing and sightseeing before dinner.”
“You’re not out of shape, Iain,” the Rapitaur protested.
He looked to his right. “April?”
“Iain has a point,” April replied. “For a human he’s a decent fighter but he’s been slacking off on the endurance training.” She gave Pandora a hard look. “He’s not alone in that, but at least he’s willing to admit it.”
The Fallen Angel’s eyebrows rose but she otherwise ignored the jab. Ninhursag chuckled. “All right, we’ll hike. You’ll get the chance to carry him more later on, Raquel, so stop with the pouting. You go find Zareen and you two will scout around us as we move. April, Dominique and Eve will be overhead. Vanessa is riding Zareen and she’ll stay there with her and Raquel. Sofia will pull back and join me, Pandora, Canaan and Iain. Anyone running across any feral pokegirls will contact the others and we’ll move to intercept and capture.” She fixed Raquel, April and Eve with a hard look. “If this is going to be our home we need to hit the ferals hard and thin their numbers out from day one as much as we can. Otherwise one of these days a child of ours will get snatched. So here’re the ground rules. If anyone sees a pokegirl, they are to cautiously approach and determine if she’s feral or not. If she is, catch her if possible and kill her if not. If she runs, I want her pursued until she’s caught, dead or off of our property.”
Eve nodded slowly. “What if she’s not feral?”
“If she’s not obviously hostile we give her southern hospitality,” Iain said firmly. “If she’d like, she gets fed, put up for the night and given breakfast in the morning before she is escorted to our property line. If she’s in a hurry she gets escorted to our property line so she doesn’t get bothered again on the way.” Something occurred to him and he frowned. “Hospitality does not include an automatic taming session with me or anyone working for us. If she’s looking for a job and we’re hiring then she can inquire as to employment. The same policy goes for humans who trespass on our land.”
“Hiring?” Ninhursag sounded surprised.
“If we buy the county we’re going to need help to take care of it. It’s too big to deal with by ourselves. And if someone is working for us but isn’t part of the family then he or she is an employee and gets paid. It’s only fair.”
“What about family members,” April asked. “We don’t have any money.”
Iain blinked. “When have I ever denied you anything?” It was her turn to look surprised. “Everything that I have is yours and always has been. If you want to buy something and we have the money, by all means buy it.” He held up a hand. “With the caveat that if someone buys me a gift, once it has been given to me it is mine to do with as I wish. I am not going to let Eve or anyone else decide what I wear or what I decorate my bedroom with if I think whatever they gave me is hideous. I will try to be gracious and polite when receiving any gift, but after that it’s mine to set fire to if I want.”
“Then why was I told no when I wanted to buy a dress in Dublin?”
Iain frowned. “I never told you no.”
“I did.” Eve folded her arms. “I was maharani at the time and it was my decision that rampant spending of our money would quickly deplete all of our reserves. I made the call as was my responsibility.”
Iain looked at the sky and took several deep breaths. Still looking at the sky he spoke in a tone that said he was not happy. “Ninhursag?”
The Elfqueen gave him a wary look. “Yes Iain?”
“Unless I specifically and on record say otherwise, every member of our family who is an adult is to be immediately given an allowance out of the general accounts. It will be provided to them in a timely fashion without regard to chores or other duties and nobody can hold any of it back unless I, on record, agree. Tonight you and I will sit down and we will decide what constitutes a suitable amount for each person to get and what is timely.” He dropped his eyes to meet Eve’s. “And nobody, not me, not anyone, can forbid any member of our family from spending their personal money on whatever they want. If they waste it then it is gone without reward or renewal, but it is their choice what they spend it on.”
“I’m sorry, Iain,” Eve said softly. “It was part of the time when I was trying to get the harem to obey what I wanted.”
He nodded. “I remember. It has been already dealt with, which is why I’m dealing with the situation as it stands now.” He looked at Ninhursag. “Let’s get moving.”
***
Iain Grey
Living Harem
Ninhursag - Elfqueen & maharani
Eve Grey - Megami Sama
April Grey - Duelist & beta
Dominique - Blessed Archmage
Pandora - Fiendish Fallen Angel
Canaan - G Splice (Hunter Amachamp & Alaka-Wham)
Zareen - Nightmare
Raquel - Fiendish Rapitaur
Sofia - Peekabu
Vanessa - Evangelion
Dead Harem
Eirian - Silver Dragoness
Aurum - Gold Dragoness
Skye - Blue Dragoness
Emerald - Green Dragoness
Beryl - Red Dragoness
Julia - human
Ling - Cheetit
Matilda - White Tigress
Twau
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